Do Looks Really Matter?

Hey.. so i'm having a little problem and i was wondering if you guys could help.. erm i'm 16 and, well, ive been told im good looking, and well for some reason all the guys i like are .. well lets just say not so good looking.. but their personality is everything i like in a guy.. the person who i like is my friend and i know he likes me.. should i give him a chance? or will i just get too personally obessed that he isnt that good looking and end up ending the relationship and wasting both our times? ill feel like a rate dick if i did that so i wanted to ask for advice, should i even bother? or should i just wait till i find someone who is good looking with an okay personality?

help :S

 

if you like him than date him.

we can't tell you how to feel/act.

people say that if you think looks are important that you are shallow, but I think that is true only to a degree.

when you date someone, of course you will probably want to find someone that you are physically attracted to, but to some people this doesn't matter. If looks are important to you, then that is you and there is nothing wrong with that.

so I mean, if you like his personality and you think he is a good guy and can deal with how he looks, then give him a chance. If you can't overcome the fact that you have no physical attraction for him, then that is your decision and there is nothing wrong with that.

just one thing though, dont date a guy just for their looks. make sure they are a good guy on the inside too. you dont want to get stuck with someone who looks good but is a real asshole. after a few of those, you will come running back to this guy you are talking about now.

 

Ugly people can have the greatest of personalities, because they are so neglected and left alone. They have time to develop themselves.

Beautiful people spend so much time with other people, they don't develop such a nice personality. Thats why I tend to date the less attractive women, because their the most interesting.

Connecting through your common ground, and finding things in common with each other, is really meaningful. Looking to find someone good looking with a good personality, is hard, i mean trust me, I have been looking for that for 3 years and I don't think my odds are improving.

On a lighter note, Don't worry about it! Give the guy a chance! Who knows, you two might just end up one, happy, couple, and if not? Oh well, you know what they say. "Its better to have failed, then to have never tried"

 

yeah.. thanks =)

 

if you have to ask, then i wouldn't date him. You're already thinking you might want someone goodlooking...so if i were you i'd wait it out. You're only 16, you've plenty of time to find a sexy boy with a great personality!

 

looks matter becuase well we are talking about attraction but if you already feel atrraction toured them then there is no problem with that the point is you being happy with them

 

If you feel attracted to him, don't bother thinking about looks.

 

I totally agree,
I'm older than you and I found that dating girls who were less attractive(since they have a better personality)does'nt work.
I agree with TheSongRemainsTheSame also,it can be tough finding an attractive person with a great personality.That is no reason to "settle" with someone though who you don't find physically attractive.
It is important and I don't think it's entirely shallow.You have to be able to have an attraction which includes physical as well as emotional and so on.
It sucks when you feel like all the good looking people are jerks and you can't relate to them.
Don't give up!,If you want it it's there.You just have to have confidence in yourself and be patient.
Friendships can be very special.You could get some of what you need from them.He could be your best friend.You don't have to jump in or rush.You're very young and there's nothing wrong with being single for awhile.
I would'nt date him,it will come back to kick you in the ass.If you're writing about it here it's already beginning to mess with your head.
I dunno,I'm not an authority on relationships but just if I was in your shoes I would'nt date him.
Whatever you do,Good luck

 

Yeah like Joey said. Nothin wrong with waiting for the right person to come along!

 

As someone said, "It all feels good in the dark".

So no, looks don't matter. Love looks beyond the flesh.


x

 

Love doesn't go beyond the flesh, at least not in my experience. To even have sex a guy has to have an erection, if he isn't attracted to the other person then it won't work right. The first time I had sex that exact thing happened.

I guess since you're a girl it won't matter that much though, since you're not the 1 trying to get a boner? lol.

 

Well, you're wrong on several counts here.

First, I'm not a girl.

Second, your experiences are limited, and makes you still green on the tree. Love has depth. Lust sees the surface only.

Third, having or maintaining an erection is never guaranteed. There are a variety of things that can cause you to lose it, to say nothing of just plain old fashioned nerves. It happens to men of ALL ages not just the old guys.

Feel better now?


x

 

Looks do matter. They're not the most important part.. but they're important.

 

Then again..

In general, I have pretty low standards so I might seem like the inner-beauty-only kinda guy. While I'm not.

 

Looks are important and have their place amongst other important factors of a relationship.
I have low standards too and try to look beyond beauty to something greater,and although I may find some nice personalities I still end up disappionted by the lack of looks and sexual attraction.
After going through all that I find that at least for me looks are important,not to be blown off or overlooked.
Which I already knew.

 

looks arnt the most important thing, if you like somone and think you could spend all your time with and still like them (which is a pretty impressive feight i find) then you should go with it. It's funny alot of things you think would be important in a relationship like looks, age etc tend to disapear when you fall in love anyway. Nothing much matters then, it's too good to worry about.

 

Looks shouldn't be important. But they are.

Luckily I have a girlfriend who could see through my bad looks and enjoys herself with me.

 

I think it's about finding some kind of balance with looks and personality.What good is someone who's super attractive and super shallow.On the other hand you would'nt want to date someone who's got a terrific personality but is repulsively ugly.So personality is important and so are looks.
I'd say most of us (if we had a choice)would want it all,great looks,great personality.
Sometimes (depending on our feelings about the person)we make decisions about who we can love.In the end it's the love that matters whether we put looks before personality or personality before looks.It all comes down to the love.Who we really can love,and who we truly cannot.
If there's real love between 2 people that's what's most important,is'nt it??
What do you think??

 

Pretty much.

 

the way someone acts and carries themselves and talks and kisses can totally make me change my mind about their appearance.. it's like you meet someone, and initially maybe they are 'soo hot' or just 'soo average' but spending time definitely builds attraction. who cares how good looking someone is when you are actually spending time with them and they suck? vice versa, who cares is someone isn't perfect looking, if they can make you enjoy yourself