divorce........blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seems i am having marital problems lately well more than usual lately, and i figured i wold get more responses over here instead of goin to love & sex
.
.
.
...... I love my husband to death, and we have two kids. But he refuses to grow up, acts like a jerk, doesnt help with the kids or anything around the house, and spends all our money on stupid things!
.
i am just thinking, what the hell happend, i love him, but it doesnt feel like we are in love anymore. we have nothing in common at all anymore...........

 

have you told him what a big issue his behaviors are to you? I mean seriously sat down together and discussed it?

 

That is no excuse for divorce. If he's a good provider, he's faithful, and he treats you decently well, and there's no abuse anything can be workred at. I think people give up on marriage too easily these days. "Til death do us part". Remember those words? Talk to him. Tell him these things, suggest counceling, but do something. Open up the communication highways and see about fixing before throwing away.....

 

i have on multiple occasions, i moved out once but came home to try to work things out....... but it just goes on and on, the other day we were almost out of food money and the ass spends $50 on a video game ARGGGGGGGGGGG

 

good provider HAHAHAHAHA he was unemployed for the majority of our marriage and is now in a dead end job making half what I make because he is lazy and doesnt want to work full time!!!!!!!! this is a relationship i have been trying to save for a long time now............
.
.

to top it off, he had the day off and i was leaving for work, had no time to take my daughter to school HE REFUSED TO TAKE HER and she missed a day of kindergarten because he went back to sleep after i left!!!!!!!!

 

Most couples go through this stuff. Start talking about it, and don't let him dismiss you. Let him know that you NEED these things addressed and resolved.

 

If he's worth it, then go see someone. A marriage counselor.

 

ignoring me is one thing, but ignoring my daughter to sleep is not ok at all!!!!!!! I feel like it is time to quit fighting this battle and move on........ he needs to learn to take care of his self before he can help take care of us.....................................

 

It's difficult because you guys have kids, if you didn't I would leave. I know it is not customary nor desirable for you as a woman but what if you suggested that you be the sole controller of the check book purely because it sounds like he may have a spending problem if you guys have kids and he is picking video games over neccesitties.

 

Ok. That is a whole different story. I'd still suggest more work before quitting. The first couple years are the hardest, but you're 21 also. Not quite the best age for being married IMO. Again, "In the good times, and the bad, through sickness and in health, to death do us part" is, I believe, what you agreed to. Sounds like you don't like the small print now that it's to the bad part. Fight through it, look past what's pissing you off and ask yourself why you married him to begin with. Ask yourself if you think it's possible for him to change. I just really hate to see the word 'divorce', especially from young couples, it's sad.

 

i have always been sole money handler, but he gets payed while i am at work and instead of consulting with me, spends whatever he wants before i get home. even if he knows we dont have the money and after he told me he wold bring the whole check home............
.
.
.
i am not looking for an EXCUSE to divorce him. but I am not going to live with someone who cares more about his self, video games, and pot than he cares about his family!!!!!!!!

 

okay if I were you I would consider divorce. I mean if he is not parenting and not your confidaunt, lover and partner than why not divorce him and get child support? It sounds like you are perfectley capable of taking care of yourself untill the right guy comes along who actually takes pride in taking care of you. You are a cool girl and don't deserve this.

 

we were in love for 8 years before getting married. now that we have been married for a while he is changing into a different person, not in a good way either...............

.
and these are definately BAD times if he is ignoring his child. woldnt it be considerd neglect to go to sleep and "FORGET" to take your daughter to elementary school........

 

...and you shouldn't have to. No one should.
It sounds like maybe he needs counseling. -- (of course we're only hearing one side of the story, but it sounds like he's got some issues that need to be dealt with)

Hang in there, sister.
*hugs*

 

i know its hard to see everything straight only hearing my side of the story so i appreciate everyones advice, and thanks for taking time to listen (read)! I don't have many "real life" friends anymore since i have been out of school and am married with kids and stuff i havent really had to much time to socialize

 

its like as soon as we moved in together he enterd puberty...... lol! he doesnt understand the responsibility that comes with kids............... and i think he is getting more immature rather than growing up

 

Actually, yes.

 

me neither and sometimes relationships actually facilitate isolation ie-you drop your firends because you are best friends with your partner and than it fades. Anytime you want someone to talk to you can pm me

 

i wold love to try something, counseling etc........ but where can you go with a low income that wont charge tons..................... and i dont want to deal with DSS i have been down that hellish road.................................. we just moved into a new county so i dont know how DSS there does things..............

 

Talk it over with him, maybe if he realizes he is going to lose you and the children he will change. However if he does not change, the children are the important factor if he is causing a poor home enviroment then maybe you should consider a divorse. He sounds immature and needs to grow up. If he will is another question.

I hope things improve for you, sweetie.