Was I sexually assaulted?

I don't know about this double-standard if you're good-looking thing. Sounds to me that would be the case only with people with weak-ass boundaries.


I don't let gorgeous women grab my ass will-nilly because they are gorgeous.

But I HAVE been called a fascist for pointing out that if women want to minimize attention to their bodies, don't manipulate your appearance and demeanor to bring attention to your bodies.

Now, if you want to cock-tease men (at the risk of being harassed more often) or if you want to find yourself a cheap fuck, then dressing scantily and acting all affected and shit works well.

Life is simple.

 

you might not LET a gorgeous woman grab your ass will-nilly, but she might just go ahead and do it anyway. then what do you do?

i don't believe you're a facist for pointing out how women minimize and maximize attention to their bodies, you're actually speaking the truth here, except, many women don't understand how men feel about a woman's body even when they are reaping and enjoying all the attention rewards.

i once had a mentally retarded teenage boy make a beeline for my breasts in the grocery store. i saw him coming towards me with eyes fixated on my chest and thought "oh shit, he's gonna grab my breasts" and then i thought "naw, it can't be true" and by that time he had his hands on them. his poor mom was horrified. i was sweet and understanding about the whole thing.

 

my mother's friend was drunk and groped dave's crotch. HE loved it. i laughed my ass off because i knew he would. my mother was horrified. and no, she's not good looking. but had that happened to me, like some guy doing that, dave would be on him like white on rice, because i'm sure the look on my face would show the fury of 20 years of being groped by rude strangers.

 

i've been groped more times than i can count or remember, especially living in crowded areas. but even by a boss and co-workers. it's even happened right in front of my husband more than once who said, "awww fuck, i can understand why the guy would do it, asshole". he's even taken a drunk belligerant (sic) guy down with an arm twist and removed him from a restaurant premises for doing it.

in my opinion it's not worth my effort or him getting into a fight, which could land him in jail. in the good ole days he could kick a guys ass good for doing that, but not today.

and i agree, it is rude.

 

yeah, i'm not entirely certain that would matter to dave. he's pretty old school that way. though i have been known to throw a punch in my own defense. then poor dave steps in when he sees what happened. the way he figures it, if i actually got pissed off and threatened enough to throw a punch, it musta been bad.

 

Much like you. I've had that situation done to me before, even though I'm male and it happens much less frequently than with you guys, I'm sure.

I usually diffuse it through humor or simply saying back off. It's easy when you're male.

I actually have been more inclined to let ugly women grope me. The reason why is simple: they are not taking it for granted that I'll let 'em because they are hot.

Attractive women grope me not because of my body, but because of a power game. So, I'm liable to curse them the fuck off and make them really embarassed because they are expecting me to go along with it.

 

Actually, it depends on whether one gives consent.

If a random man "grabs your breasts," it IS sexual assault. Simply by walking down a street, a woman is not giving any random man permission to grope her. No man, attractive or not, can grope a woman without her consent and have it be anything other than sexual assault.

Actually, there ARE legal definitions of sexual assault. It varies by state. Here's an example of Rhode Island's sexual assault laws, provided by Brown University:

 

oh god who cares.

you know back when i was a teenager, and, y'know, women were opressed and considered nothing more than objects, men would come up to us all the damn time and grope on our breasts and dillywillies!

i swear.

sexual libertion and mostly feminism has cut back on this soooooooo much, i swear.

 

LOADS of people care. it's why it's an issue. i hate being randomly grabbed.

 

you know back when i was a teenager, and, y'know, women were opressed and considered nothing more than objects, men would come up to us all the damn time and grope on our breasts and dillywillies!

you know back when i was a teenager, and, y'know, women were opressed and considered nothing more than objects, men would come up to us all the damn time and grope on our breasts and dillywillies!

you know back when i was a teenager, and, y'know, women were opressed and considered nothing more than objects, men would come up to us all the damn time and grope on our breasts and dillywillies!

 

gosh, that was valuable.

 

I agree with this to a point. However, I do believe there is a difference between flirting and harassment. If you're going to be outright lewd and crude, there's going to be problems. However, I'm the first one to admit that I like attention, and have been known to get free pizza with my cleavage. I don't get my panties in a bunch if I catch a guy ogling me. I rather take it as a compliment (maybe that will change as I get older, I dunno). If I didn't want people to look at me, I'd wear a sack, so a guy looking at me doesn't tweak me out. It's harmless. It's not going anywhere. It's a confidence booster. Where's the harm?
It's when they cross the line and start making graphic comments, don't take no for an answer, exhibit threatening behavior and start the degrading name-calling... Just no.

 

That's kinda catchy... I think I could dance to that...

 

you girls have it so good!

i was sold to my husband and expected to stay at home and take care of the kids while he fought in WWII to stop the japanese from bombing the crap out of us

you don't know what it was like to be so oppressed!!

 

lol. you're getting older and older with every post. is there a reason?

 

hmmm.... maybe because ze's a troll?

 

lol. you THINK? heheheh.

 

What you may not realize, firefly, is that when you get free pizza "with" your cleavage --- you are degrading men much like you're degraded when they make graphic comments or otherwise harrass you.

Both behaviors are inextricably linked, fun though they might be.

 

I'm kinda of the opinion that, if you're not sure whether you were raped/sexually assaulted or not, chances are you probably weren't. It seems, from what I've been hearing, that a lot of people are encouraged to be more sensitive than their intuition tells them they need to be. Personally I've had experiences when I've been felt up, or when I've woken up with someone and couldn't imagine that I'd have said yes... but if you're not sure, you just take the rough with the smooth and try and learn from the experience.

Does it still count as rape if you like it? Stupid question maybe, I'm just wondering.

 

Well yeah, and it's kinda misleading to try and get free stuff out of someone by making them think you're interested in them sexually. I mean yeah, great, no-one should assume anything. But it seems to me that someone who wilfully takes advantage of someone's assumption is basically lying and/or being a dick. So yeah, you flirting with someone may not entitle them to a fuck. But why lead people on? It might seem ideologically fine to do it, because they shouldn't assume, but that doesn't mean you deserve any kind of sympathy if something bad happens. Plus, if you use body language to lie to people, you can't expect them to, for example, pick up on body language that says "fuck off, leave me alone, I don't want your cock after all". So you have to feel very comfortable with saying no if you're going to pull this kind of shit.