has anyone had a time when you want to help someone (no not talking about homework or anything) but you cant either because you dont know how...or because they "dont want help"...? but if they dont want help you feel like you cant just sit around and watch them do this to themselves...
about an hour ago. i was at friends house, and they had been fighting pretty bad for the last couple days. She stopped taking her meds today, and was feeling very suicidal. luckily after about 45 mins we convinced her to take em. hopefully shell continue...
i still havent been able to get through to my freind. i did for about 20 minutes then i stopped talking to her (i had to go). and 10 minutes later she called and did what i was trying to prevent her to do and i dont know whatelse i can do because i was lucky i even got through to her for those few minutes. later on she asked me what i would do if i found out she was doing something that i didnt want her to do, so i didnt lie and said i would be pissed and asked why she asked...she replied that then she would know not to tell me what she was doing. this is my best freind-feels like she just slapped me in the face, but i think it was just because of the moment......
you cant help someone that doesnt want to be help. however, you can support them with your friendship. people HAVE to help themselves though.
I think we've all been there at one time or another... But what can you do? Sometimes the best thing to do is to wait for said person to approach you when they need the help... they can't be helped unless they truly want to be helped...
i've definitely been there before... and essentially Interval has it right, there's nothing you can do, they have to help themselves. If you're determined to help though, their are ways to go about it if the oportunity presents itself... I take it you know this person quite well.... you probably know the things in their life that influence their actions, and what you do in those situations is, you validate their feelings but not their reactions... take people who cut themselves, for example, but aren't really suicidal.... you tell them you know they're sad and that it might seem like a good way to deal with it, but their are much better ways to handle it than that: calling a friend that's understanding (if they're available) or going for a long walk; something that relieves the pressure.
