I have been trying to get my wife to masturbate...she has NEVER EVER done it before (not once)...I know she is missing out...and I think it has been a hiderance in our sex life becuase she hasn't really explored her sexuality.....So how many women actually masturbate (daily, weekly, monthly)? How do I get my wife to try it (it's so enjoyable)?
it's a comfort level thing. it's not something that anyone else can talk you into. if you try, it's just going to make it even more uncomfortable for her.
KC, your brain rules my world... I'm not going to go into my masturbation schedule because that's neither here nor there.. But as KC said that it truly is a comfort level situation, and you trying to talk her into will probably not work out so well and then she might feel pressured and feeling pressured to do something just makes the experience not enjoyable for either person. But I don't know your wife and don't know how she would feel if you approached her about this, everyone is different...
KC I would just get the information on the subject and introduce her to it Let her read it herself on her own time. For some it is private
we've only had the conversation a couple of times (3-4) in the 7+ years we have been together, I only ask because it came up the other day....I def don't pressure her in anyway....and she is appalled by it and I guess I just cant quite understand it...and I know its a huge wall for the her potential sexual desires...just looking for women's thoughts thats all
there's a book called "tickle your fancy" that is basically a happy, tongue-in-cheek instruction manual for the self-love uninitiated. you can look it up online, maybe suggest it to her.
Have you ever asked why she is appalled by it..? Well, I'm sure you asked but is there a specific reason or does she just not like it...
I will take a look at that book....from what she has said before she thinks that the vagina is gross and thinks it disgusting to touch it blah ba blah blah....I do know that she has a low self-esteem when it comes to her body...and she is drop dead gorgeous...she has an amazing body...I am always reassuring her on how beautiful she is and so forth...her mind is like the great wall of china...theres no getting around it...and the thing with sex is it almost impossible to seduce her...ive gone to great lengths to be romantic, spontaneous, ect.....the only time it is enjoyable is when she is horny and initiates....
Did something happen in her past or something to make her think that the holy vagina is gross? If not than maybe she is uncomfortable with herself, I don't know this is a hard one to give advice about considering people have different reasonings for not wanting to do things. She could just not like the whole idea of masturbating, a lot of people don't and if she doesn't like it than that's probably going to be how she always feels about it and hate to say it but if she doesn't like doing something at all then as her husband and partner you're going to have to respect that, you know. Anyways, I don't know maybe talking with her again about it or take kc's adivce about that book will help...
while i encourage ANY woman to learn the art of self gratification, not everyone is comfortable with it and some may NEVER be comfortable with it.
yes it is a tough one.....yeah I do respect what she says and feels thats why I haven't pressured her in any sort of way....it just frustrates me, b/c again I know she's missing so much....thats why im asking what you woman think....I do appreciate some of the advice, thank you ladies...
if she's content, it shouldn't really be a problem. unless you wish to engage in some mutual masturbation or be visually stimulated. if you ask her sweetly that you really want to see her touching herself, that may be more effective than trying to get her to masturbate alone. love and a desire to please our men frequently gives us the freedom to do things we wouldn't otherwise do.
Excellent point... Or perhaps asking if there is something that you could do thas she may like to try or is interested in.. Personally, if my partner wanted to try something new or asked me to do something that would arouse him, I would. (unless it was utterly disgusting like scat play or urine...) Being ambitious and letting go everything you feel is "taboo" while having sex/making love or even foreplay is a great way to feel not only connected to yourself, but almost redefined in a way. I say ask her if there is anything that she would like to try and maybe if there is something and you do it, maybe she will be more willing...
good points...I will rethink my strategy(lol)......i guess its all about how you present it really...in heat of the moment?...or explain how it turns me on? (thinkin outloud)....however my point is not about pleasing me or being macho (ha look I made that girl cum/sort of BS)...but her being pleasured which is the ultimate turn on for me.....I know she has the ability to fully orgasm and squirt/waterfall because we have experienced it many times....so I will ask her if there is anything that she would like to try or if I could see her touch herself...thank you ladies...I appreciate your persepective and time
if shes interested in changing her perceptions, you might have a chance. otherwise, not so much. what the other gals have said, plus perhaps see a sex or relationship counsellor from time to time. again, this will only work if she actually wants to change her perception. if she likes thinking her body is disgusting, it aint gonna change because you requested it to
Buy her a hitachi "magic wand". She won't have to touch herself and the wand is unfreakinbelievable. You can't stop at just one. lol Then you could even restrain her and do some orgasm torture with it. Good stuff.
Who is to say that she is missing out on anything? I know many women that have tried masturbation and it didn't "do it" for them, so they don't masturbate. It's not a big deal to them, and it shouldn't be. It is a personal choice, and apparently hers is "no thank you." While the OP seems reasonably good intentioned, and wants to help her experience other things sexually, it is extremely presumptive of him to assume what his partner is or isn't missing out on. Just because he would feel that way, does not mean she will. If the OP wants his lady to be more open sexually he needs to start by supporting who she is as a sexual being, and stop telling/hinting/otherwise expressing to her who he expects her to be. Even without saying a word, a person can express their thoughts and feelings. Masturbation is her taboo area. How would the OP feel if she fixated on one of his off limit areas? Hey, it might turn her on to watch him screw an apple pie. Does that mean he should do it...no. There is so much that a couple can do sexually it seems almost pointless (to me) to worry about "but she doesnt do this one thing, and dammit I really want her to." Most people tend to open up sexually when they feel safe, and know that their partner will not criticize them for their insecurities. The alternative is to push wants on a partner and be contiuously rejected.
