I have been with my new partner for 8 months now, whilst i love her deeply i am struggling in the bed room. She loves me i know that, maybe too much as she struggles to let herself go, i mean this in everysense not just in the sack. However, i have told her on many occasions she has to relax, i know she has been burnt from her past but i am in this for the long haul not the short, she will agree and say she knows this but then goes back to the mood swings and being clingy and taking everything to heart instead of having a giggle. Because of this i am strating to struggle in the bed room, i can get an erection but have a hell of a time coming to ejaculation whils making love, i find her very attractive so i know this isnt the problem its her moods. if i cant ejaculate she then gets all grumpy and asks if i still love her ect, i have tried to explain also telling her that sometimes its just the way it is i cant always cum, but she blames herself no matter. i have tried talking to her about porn, dressing up, experimenting, toys ect but she throws the line am i not good enough, do i not turn you on! i am a guy that likes sex, likes to experiment, role play, dress up, toys ect and the missionary position sex bores me to tears. how do i get her to see that theres more to sex than doggy or missionary and that she does rock my world. I know she has had a bad past right from childhood, and from ex partners, i am being patient but thus far nothing has changed since we met yet she tells me she wants to experiment ect.. any thoughts on my frustration?
if sex with this woman after 8 months bores you to tears just because there's not lots of bells and whistles thrown in, i wouldn't lay odds on the survival of the relationship.
its really good that youve been patient but maybe just try to show your comitment but then also remind her that you two have to try new things why not buy her a costume to get her started??
Hmmm if you've already tried to explain to her that you're adventurous sexually by nature, and she's taking that as a personal insult, I don't know what else you can say. Sometimes people, especially women, with bad pasts are overly sensitive. Try to tell her again that everyone has different things that rock their boat, and that you're one of the types that prefers other things. It could end up being the very sad case where the romantic connection is there, but the sexual chemistry is a bit flattened. Don't give up if the strong feelings are there though, I wish you luck!
Well you're lucky in the way that you love someone and its the sex thats the problem. Sex can always be worked on; unfortunately love is not so consistent. In my experience how "good" sex is with someone doesnt involve their past experiences or anything like that; its just how sexually compatible you are. You need to have a discussion about pleasing each other. Relationships and sex are the same in the fact that its all a bit of give and take. If you're only doing what she wants to do and you're not happy; then how is that give and take? Just try and make her understand that it will be more fun and pleasurable if you both enjoy it. I think the best option here would be to convince her to try it once - and just make it ridiculously silly and fun. The more fun she has, the more relaxes she will be and the more you can both open up. You sound like you know each other pretty well personally, but not so much sexually. Sometimes each is as important as the other. Good luck
Oh for pete's sake, just drop down, kiss her tummy (with your chin nestled in her pubes), and then go on down. The tongue, taste, smell, feel of that magnificent place will get YOUR juices over the top, maybe hop her up, and reclaim the glory you once thought possible. Keep it up until she orgasms, then slip your cock in her and gently blast away. If this doesn't work go see a counselor or get a different woman. Life's too short. Sorry, but that's the way things are.
