I feel totaly worthless and I want to die. All my life I have been sad and lonely. Every day is a new series of failure and rejection. People think I am a big fat ugly monster. I guess their right. There have been times that people have ran away immediatly when they have seen me. I wish I could runaway from my self. The misery, rejection, and failure are so intense they feel like phisical pain. Girls would rather get a maggot infested yeast infection than even have to look at me. I am actualy above average inteligence acording to tests and the few people who have gotten to know me. But when people see I'm fat and ungly they just assume I'm retarded to. Who am I to agrue? If most people think I am retarded I must be. Right? If enough people call me a useless, wothless, fat bag of shit, then I must be. No one wants me around, including myself. I guess I should leave. Maybe I'll do it tonight. I can remember, when I was a youg child, I was happy. I thought the world was a great place and I couldn't wait to grow up. What went wrong? What horrible thing did I do to make my life endlessly miserable? What did I do that turned me into this ugly monster? I wish I was just a kid again. I wish I had never been born. I wish I was dead. Death has to be better than this shitty excuse of a life. Maybe I'll do it tonight. :hang:
Don't do it. I have no idea what you look like, but people are not defined by appearance (or at least shouldn't be-I know sometimes they are). There are plenty of people who need you and would not care what you look like. They would love you anyway. Find these people. They're out there waiting for you. :flowers:
Thank you for your kind words, they are apreciated. But when you look for something for 32 to years and don't find it, not only do you stop looking, you feel stupid that you even tried in the first place. Today I lost my job. There's nothing to live for. So now I say goodbye to a world that never even noticed I was here. I'm going to kill myself tonight.
I posted this last night. 20 views. Only one person had anything to say to me. I guess the other 19 want me to do it. I want to call some hotline but I'm afraid they'll trace the call. I'm terrified right now because the more time goes by the more sure I want to and will kill myself. I don't want to die, but I don't feel like I have any choise. I just cant take any more rejection, failure, and misery. I don't want to die, I want to be happy like everyone else. I want to have freinds and a girlfreind and all that other stuff. But I can't. All I can do is look around at all the happy people. I'm not a real person. I'm worthless. How much will it hurt? How long will it take. I'm really scared, but I just can't deal with all the emotional pain anymore. There's no other option. I have to do this tonight. Good bye. help
I was serious. There is something or someone in the world that needs you. You're not old; you're the same age as my daughter-just a kid to me. Try to look beyond your pain to see the need that is out there. There is so much need and so many lonely people-reach out and find them and help them. Don't be afraid to call someone. Please. :hug:
I started cutting myself, but my brother found me and he's taking me to the hospital. I hope they never make me leave, I wish I could spend the rest of my life in the psych ward where I feel safe. Thanks for trying to help me, it really means a lot.
I have a really strong feeling about you. I hope you find your path. I feel like it's going to be a major departure from where you are and the direction you've been heading. I keep thinking of the saying: "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you've got." This can be a new beginning for you. I'm glad you're safe.
My mom cut herself... they put her in a pysch ward too. This was on and off during my childhood. 2 years ago it happened again, most likely for the last time... and they are now getting ready to release her. She now has the chance for a new life. I hope it works out for you too. And I am glad you didn't end it.
please don't do it... i don't know if you still get on or are even able to, but please don't do it. Please don't even cut yourself. Believe me, I am well-aquainted with suicide, cutting and all of that other crap. I would love to talk to you more, that is if you still get on. You can always PM me - I would so love to hear from you!
Try to see what it is that makes you unhappy. Is it your appearance? If it's just about being fat, why don't you go see a nutritionist and start a diet, that aspect can be changed. Really... why take things so tragically? Perhaps seeing a psychologist or a consellor or something like that might help...
I’ve never posted on these forums before but have read them for a while, there’s always a reason to live... maybe you won’t believe me now but in the future you will see I’m right so stick around and find out. I’m sure a lot of people have thought and wished they weren’t around at times when they think it couldn’t get any worse and then it does. It sounds like you have a caring brother, one day he might need you just as you need him now.
