How do you feel about the term "straight acting"?

I was thinking about stuff it would be fun to get angry about while skimming through on-line dating profiles, and I thought of the term "straight acting". Does anyone else think it's a bit... I dunno... crap?

I mean, I'm very much in the "How dare you assume I'm heterosexual?" camp of the early days of homo visibility, and it seems to me that the "ability" to be mistaken for straight is being kinda fetishised by some, used as an excuse to stay "on the down low" by others... I don't get why the mincing twinkfags of the world have managed to get themselves the monopoly on "gay". Far as I can see, I don't "act straight". I don't "act" at all, and in terms of my actions, I suck dick - don't see many straight dudes doing that!


I dunno, OPINIONZ PLS?

 

Well, its something that only really applys if you want to hang out with straight guys under 27 so they dont get all stupid, purposely being straight acting that is.

Past that age, their sex drives die down enough for them not to care so much and some of them have enough to worry about with hetero, keeping up with the stress involved with wives / girlfriends in full baby making mode.

You watch, the type of guy at 20 who was stupid about the gay thing will be the one at 30 coming to you for counselling / bitch about the Mrs over a beer or two

 

Most of my friends are straight guys in their early twenties. I've yet to feel pressured to "act straight", beyond the standard low-level peer pressure that comes with hanging out with any group of people. I've experienced far more under pressure to conform from gay people of their age, to be honest. I've never had a problem gaining acceptance from straight guys because, if it comes to it, I can drink most of them under the table two or three times over! :jester:

To be honest, I was more referring to the on-line dating thing, I guess if you're lucky you've never experienced it, of guys saying they're "straight acting" or looking for "straight acting" guys. I don't know, to me it's a problem if one who is not overtly camp is describing themselves as "straight acting".

 

Well in terms of online 'dating' those that put the 'straight acting' term in are more likely (not always) to be those looking for the one off or quick fling that the wife or girlfriend dont find out about. Same with the term 'discrete'.

Thats the trouble with online sites, too much about married or secret bi, not enough about gay.

But it sometimes can just mean a gay guy that doesnt want to bother attracting campier guys

 

I don't think that's true at all. Maybe you've been out of the loop but there's tons of guys who are "out" and absolutely not married who are using the term. It seems like people are mostly trying to distance themselves from "camp" guys. I just think that's a problem, personally; that people feel like, if they're not acting like those twinky fags, they're not "gay acting".

 

Well, past 30 it gets a lot easier to tell the difference between proper gay and straight, the differences are more pronounced. So its more about picking up at the supermarket or even just walikng down a busy street, less about nightclubs and internet.

I dabbled with the internet thing a few years back, too many bs excuses about why we couldnt meet at his place..."I'm in the middle of renovating"..."I'm in the middle of moving house"...." My mum is staying for the weekend"

I was cycnical, I'm like ...yeah, ok, translation "The wife is not going to understand if I bring home a guy to hook up with"

In fact the first guy I did manage to meet at his place gave me some bs story about his male flatmate being away for the weekend, half way through I went to the loo, peeked in one door on the way to find the kids bedroom (it was obviously the wife and kids that were away for the weekend)

 

Yeah, again, I've never had that problem. It might've been age, or the type of guy you're going for, but on-line dating's becoming a lot more socially acceptable these days, so it's less the reserve of guys who just can't get dates any other way and more just another means of communicating. I certainly feel better about it than the bar scene, and I'm fucked if I'm going to try and pick up a guy at a supermarket because, (in reference to the thread topic) unless they're mincing around like a faggot, I don't know if they're gay, and they don't know if I am. Like, you can be kinda sure, but the doubt that's there means you'll play it safe. That's what bothers me, I think. I shouldn't have to be absolutely certain, should I? I mean, heteroids don't have to check that a chick's not a lesbian before hitting on them, do they?

 

It may be terribly pedantic, but I think there's a big difference between guys who say they're straight-acting and those who say they're masculine. To me, "straight-acting" is key for closeted, or someone who may be out on some level but still has a lot of internalized homophobia and doesn't want to be remotely associated with anything stereotypically gay. On the flip side, when a guy says he's masculine it doesn't raise that red flag. Again, it may be pedantic and silly, but that's how I interpret it.

 

Well, as I say, I haven't noticed it being used that way. But then, we have that small town mentality, everyone seems to be playing a part, so I guess the guys who dress up as chavs might just pretend to be closeted to add to the illusion and make themselves more desirable to the weirdos who go for that kind of thing!

 

I hate the term "straight acting."

How does one act straight? Is it possessing what society tells us are masculine traits?

I don't have much time, but I will write later.

 

That was kinda the reason I had a problem with it; that guys who aren't feminine feel obliged to say that they're "straight acting", as if a) it's an act, and b) straight folk have a monopoly on masculinity. To my mind, who you fuck shouldn't have any bearing on how you're gendered. I'm sure as fuck as masculine as most of the straight guys I know, but I wouldn't call myself "straight acting" because, at the end of the day, the only acts that I perform which have anything to do with my sexual orientation are gay, not straight.

 

The term straight acting don't mean shit to me.

I don't act like anything except a 62 year old man who is a; father, gardener, hot rod car freak, gay, old hippie, jungle wandering, former hell raiser, and an alledged curmudgeon. That said, some straight people on finding that I'm gay have been silly enough to say things like, "you don't act gay" and some gay people say "you're straight-acting". WTF does any of that mean?

Many of us who are OLDER (theres another old fart or two around here) grew up without any openly gay role models. In fact I never knew any other gay people till I was in the university. So I ended up acting like the things that appealed to me.

I understand the act people put on who want to appear straight...or camp or femme or what ever other theme they want. For the most part the gay guys I know just act like whoever the hell they happen to be. That includes a pretty wide age range of guys from their teens to a bunch of antique bastards like myself.

 

yarapario...you rock. Great response.

 

Yarapario and I are contemporaries and I have pretty much the same response as him.

(BTW, go see the Indiana Jones movie - the setting is our gen and Harrison Ford, who's about our age, is straight acting)

I am just me. I think there are some identifiable gay men who have feminine mannerisms and the "straight acting" just means you are not one of the "nellies." Woe be the straight gentleman who has such mannerisms (he might wanna take acting lessons).

Body language is so cultural. I can tell a black Haitian from a local Miami black just by the way they walk down the street. We all have mannerisms that we pick up, like language, from a very early age. Don't know why some gay men act like Joan Crawford but they do.

I guess I move like my dad or other men in my redneck family, but it isn't an act of any sort. Now and then I break cultural barriers, by hugging another man in public or touching them more than a slap on the back. Oops, don't let them see you acting Queer! Seriously, there are some places that I will act straight by not showing my normal affection toward a man. Best to be aware of this when in some parts of Mississippi.

 

To be honest, I used to think like that, but I'm learning not to judge. I've had a couple of bad experiences where I've tried to second guess someone's homosexuality based on body language and been completely wrong, but refused to accept that and thought they were in denial. It didn't end well (had some good times in the middle though ) and these days I just ask and accept the answer, even if I'm 90% sure. A surprising number of straight guys can deal with you asking if you're polite and don't push it, especially if you say that you just ask everyone you fancy and don't imply that they're "faggy". Most are pretty flattered, actually. I'm grimly determined not to let the fear of a few assholes sour what has become quite a good relationship between the sexualities lately!

 

hey Shale, Indiana Jones, yep, definetly straight acting and I gonna try to see the movie this weekend. I plan to head down to the Amazon with son # 7 later this summer so I'll be checking out crystal skulls and maybe try to get a little head....you know...shrunken heads. Sorry for the highjack, we'll now return to the regular discussion already underway.

 

Watch "Teeth", it's way better. And it has cocks in it! (kinda)

 

Teeth? cocks! I'm gettin scared here.

Is Teeth a new movie? Hell, I'm completely out of touch...But I'm game I'll watch 'em both.

 

It's dumb. The whole notion, at least as I understand it, hinges on the assumption that there are exactly two distinct sets of secondary characteristics for guys who like guys or guys who like girls. It's a false dichotomy based on the utterly horrible idea that a gayness is a distinct identity. Moreover, it reinforces the idea any gay guy who doesn't act like a faggot is some kind of infiltrator, either a coward or some sort of sleeper agent working to undermine society.

 

2007, but it was an indie film. Should be out on DVD pretty soon. And yeah, basically it's about a chick with teeth in her vagina.





Seriously.