round n' round you go

i dont even know what this thread is about.

i havent done acid in ages. smoked weed like 5 days ago i think somthing hapend to my mind. iv beeen sleeping 15 hours a day and i hear things warping and have very strange accociations with ordinary things doing ordinary tasks. unexplainable deep ones. and i dreamt i fucked a cat and there was an instructor and it was the most real sexual dream ever i had, i mean i saw the penetration, then it went soft, and the guy told me not to pput it in its ass, which i did at first. i think cause i went soft with the gf and it slipped into her ass a couple times. but still fucked up. im not the same with the gf and she knows. theres suddenly like awkward moment, and id have like disturbing thoughts. i really hate writing this shit and asking people if they think im sane or not, cause really questioning my sanity is killing me.

tha night i smoked weed n did some uppers, i was in the dark goin thro each room tryin to find the toilet each time going into each room and being in a total differnt place than was there. i was so confused i turned on the light and went to the toilet, but i was in those rooms and it wasnt there. and i was opening the cupboard and coudlnt find the door talking jumbled crazy shit. i knew it was disconnected. just telling myself im going insane. no drugs ever for me again ever. n i did so many uppers i was in the backyard seeing weird scary shit dry heaving for hours. i only drank like half a bottle. even just writing this i feel like a fuckhead. my mind is in a negative place. this is probably the stupidest thread i ever wrote. fuck it. fuuuuck it.

is doin a bit of acid worth never feeling right again? always having perceptual alterations and never feeling like your 'all there'? is it worth it

 

i used to feel alot of the same things as u, not feeling all there like youve permanently damaged your psyche. this all came about after a year of the most excessive drug use ive ever experienced. altho im sure some permanent damage has been done alot of those side effects will disipate with a few months or so of complete sobriety. i feel now that ive completely regained my sanity with a bit of knowledge gained from having been to hell and back. how ever if u cant give up all drugs even marijuana for only two months even why do you deserve your sanity do you really respect your consciousness enough to reagain wat u lost. your still very young and i know that people have gotten much more twisted and depraved with their drug use than you and still came back from it. just learn from wat uve exerience and dont make the same mistakes. but personally that cat fucking dream is just strange lol

 

hmmm thanks for the advice man. somtimes its just good hearing these things. makes me feel better. what the hell have they done to the forums... oh maaan

 

Peter you popping fiend.

 

there are alot of people who do get very twisted, and they do 'come back from it'. and you see them and they may seem ok. but you dont know what there thinking. they can seem ok, but they could be living a miserable trip. just cause they can basic function doesnt mean there all good at all.

or they feel the need to contue psychs now and again to actually keep them 'sane'.
just went to the doctors and iv got infected ulcers on my throat, prob from the hours of dry heaving, or heaving bits of stomach acid for too long. lesson learnt. i guess cause i hadnt done any drugs in ages, i just wanted this one big escape away. allways to the excess.

 

when i comes down to it there is no such thing a sanity in the first place. every human being that has ever lived has experienced some very deranged thoughts and many pondered their own sanity because they confused it with normality which also doesnt really exist. just because you think differently than others doesnt mean your any better off psychologically than them. were all travelling down the road of life with each one of us on our very own individual trips. the key is to love yourself truly thats all you can do besides kill urself. learn to love ur life, the ups and downs love ur conscioussness and never take it for granted because one things for sure ur mind wont be in the same place forever and some day it may not even be their.

 

stay away from the uppers man. they bring more negative than good.

 

you sound like an alcoholic... you said you drank "only a half a bottle..." which is good amount of booze. The way you say "half a bottle" implies you don't respect the drink. Not to mention you say you are getting ulcers in your throat. Mostlikely from drinking too much... or like you said dry heaving... from drinking too much. On top of that you mentioned abusing uppers in your first post, you said "i did so many uppers i was in the backyard seeing weird scary shit dry heaving for hours." So where does LSD come in to play? You need some sobriety my man, stop blaming LSD for your alcohol/upper problem. Face it like a man and take a break; from all drugs if you have the self control to. If you give your mind atleast a months rest you will start grounding.
take care of yourself

 

Hey man I hate it when people give me advice but heres my advice anyway:

Love is the answer.

Know yourself.

Moderation in all things.

People re-invent themselves every day, go with the flow and become a happy person. you dont need to get messed up to be happy, LSD didnt give you brain damage, I tell ya, everything's gonna be just fine.

 

ive seen you change so much popper. its sad...but from what i gather you arent going insane. and insane person doesnt question whether or not their losing their sanity. ur mind is there. what is sanity anyway?

 

thanks for all the advice
yeah i know myself how much i have changed. but still im in a good place. somtimes its easy to come here when you feel your very worst and write from a gloomy freaked out persepctive. somtimes things seem worse than other times. just gotta put shit in perspective in my mind.

but i will say its sad when your friends talk to you and you have such little concentration you cant really understand and keep up with what there sayin if its more than a sentence or 2. you just have to nod and say yeah and smile. thats really a depressing thing. and you just blank stare with your eyes crossed so everything is blurry, and keep trying to snap out of it and force your eyes in focus. thats what i call not all there.

 

quit all drugs and alcohol, find something to keep you busy. after 2 weeks of sobriety, if things haven't gotten better, go see a psychologist or something.

 

or take more drugs, that seems to be working

 

hahaha placid

 

yeah come on pete.

I joined these forums at the beginning of december, and even THEN people were telling you to lay off the drugs. you always say you are going to but then you never do.

give sobriety a chance bro.

 

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. ~ mark twain

don't worry, be happy!

 

peter, the scariest run up against what I would call 'insanity' didn't come from LSD or any psychedelic... it came from too much ecstacy (cut with speed) and crack (not doing that again) in a night
I honestly believe the uppers get you closer to psychosis than anything else

 

Uppers! Amphetamin psychosis! Ho!

 

all true.

hmm i take like special energy vitamins, and beroca performance, and the shit makes me feel way better ay. i was most deffinatly lacking.

really i am pretty good, i remember back when i was having diffucutly differing my dreams from real, and days sifting and blurring. you dont realise how far youve come.

i shaved my head to blade 2 and changed the way i dress again. all for the best tho. things can only get better.

and you know what. acid isnt all that bad. you sorta forget how amazing it was. but when i do remember, and i remember some of the incredible things that happened to me from it. experienceing conscousness in that such profound way. you havent lived till youve done it. how can you go thro life without experiencing life in such a prfound magnificant way. heh. thats more like the old me. thats pretty good actually. yes, the e's and the pcp is what triggered bad.
and ofcourse doing too much acid close in proximity is bad. so i guess yes i will be doing acid again. not till probably december, maybe not even then. i dont know. maybe just shrooms. but see how im starting to rationalise things. its goooood
i feel pretty stupid tho for coming here having a winge. expecialy when people warned me about doin too much acid and then not to come here and have a winge. heh. but i diddnt do that much acid anyway. a bit i gues.

 

all we are saying, is give sobriety a chance