Ode to the Nice Guys

Nice guys huh. I guess that gets confusing. define nice. Respectful? fun? charming? or overly bearing black hole of emotional need.
I'm a nice guy and have never had any trouble. Cross me though and you could be in a world of hurt.
have balls but know when to use em i guess would be best advice here.

 

you don't have to be a pussy to be a nice guy. unfortunately, many self-proclaimed nice guys tend to be "overly bearing black hole of emotional need."

I consider myself a pretty nice guy, but that ode stinks of the same kind of bullshit I smell on those "Things to do for her" lists and similar piles of manure. what kind of self-respecting guy would put up with some of the unreasonable things written up in the original post? concocting a counter-rumor over some bullshit .. while you're in the middle of stomping serious amounts of ass in GTA3?

the same kind of guy who, while balling his eyes out over the girl who won't fuck him despite him never so much as making his intentions/emotions clear, sits down and writes up a similar piece of shit to what I just read.

sorry if I come off as harsh. but "nice guys" aren't losers because they're nice, they're losers because they're losers. being nice is great, being the guy who does all the stuff in the op isn't.

 

:cheers:
We should get together for a beer.

 

NO DOUBT! i believe jimmy is in boulder, too.

 

This is way to long to read I mean the ode. But I think I am nice, at least I don't get hit by chicks very much. Sometimes I do get hit but that is becuse I say whatever pops into my head. I try to be nice it's just my mouth gets in the way sometimes. It's ok though girls don't hit very hard and a punch in the nuts is a turn on once in a while.

Peace

 

I like the thought that nice guys will eventualy get A girl, i gave up on that in college when i was the nice guy all through high school and got relitivly nowhere. In college i was an ass and got the girls because they werent looking for the nice guy but the assholes that made them laugh or was fun to be around. Not to say that it didnt eventualy get old, but it was an adaption i found was an interesting turn of evets.

To the girl who said that nice guys have severe emoional issues, well no shit. they've been treated like mats most of thier lives and have fallen into a pattern of self pitty, which is why they might go from great friend to clingy once a girl finaly goes out with them. they feel that the person can fill an emotional void left after years of lonelyness. I know from experiance. I've been called clingy, though it was only because i wanted to know her schedual because i was planning on having a romantic gettaway that fell through after she dropped me on my ass one day after work.

any who my rant is over and would like to say thankyou for the thread.

 

i guess the same can be said for nice girls.

 

The women I have been with tell me that I am a "nice guy" - I am considerate of them, romantic, don't cheat on them, and a good lover. I am a guy with a happy outlook on life - the glass is half full, not half empty. I would hate myself if I were any different.

 

Here's my quick, not really thought deeply, take on the 'nice guy' matter.

I'm going to assume you mean nice guy by laid back, respectful, quiet, charming, ext. These guys are normally SHY. Girls are often soft spoken by nature, with males they are looking to date. Most girls I know find it hard to go and just put themselves out there with a guy they have a crush on. I think that girls naturally have the biological tendency to pick a mate that is dominating. Traits that go with that are normally outgoing, fairly confidant, ext. Normally the loud, cocky ones are the assholes. And the shy sweet ones girls find very hard to be the one to step up to the plate and 'dominate' the situation so to speak, by getting these guys to come out of their shell.
Another possibility could be self-esteem. Many, many girls are lacking in this department so they feel they don't deserve that sweet guy. Or they are looking for someone who has apparent flaws to even out with the flaws they see in themselves so in their mind they feel equal. Even if they are not truly happy.
I noticed that a lot of bitchy girls end up with the nice guys, too. Thats another story.. lol.
I could be wrong, but thats just what I sort've see when I look deep into this topic at a glance.
I am currently dating a 'nice guy' and I did this by overcoming that severe shyness he had. Everyone finds someone somehow.

 

One thing that bugs me is when the girls start looking for 'the catch'

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Give her space when she needs it, but not 'too much' yada yada, all that, then she starts getting nervous, starts looking for the flaws that aren't there, then freaks out, runs away screaming yelling 'I don't deserve you!'

 

Hah, I can relate to THAT one, yeesh..
Women tend to ignore the flaws we DO have and play up the ones we don't, haha.

 

hahahha. i've felt that with dave a few times. it's extremely eerie and you start to freak out, wondering if you've ended up in a coma some how and are inventing this whole perfect person out of your dreams, because they can't possibly be quite real.

thankfully dave does enough stuff to make me roll my eyes at his essential normal guyness that my fears are alleviated.

 

Her & His Diary HER DIARY: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him th at I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.. < /FONT>Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someo ne else. My life is a disaster. HIS DIARY: Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

 

It's annoying, because it's like 'ok, here is the master list of all my flaws.' 'But these are all minor things! what's the BIG thing?'

'Simple. I've got so many minor ones' 'but that's not good enough!, you've got to be crazy, or have something really screwed up about you or or or I don't deserve you!'

That whole 'not good enough for you' thing really drives me nuts, because it's like 'if you weren't, why would I be with you in the first place? I'm with you, ergo, I consider you good enough. and the choice is mine about who i consider 'good enough'.

KC- that's exactly it! 'You're a dream come true. You can't REALLY be like this, you've got to be like a psycho axe murderer or something' and I've found myself developing visible flaws just to give them something to be reassured about and have the damn catch.

 

everybody goes through periods.

 

oh yeah, but the longer it goes on, the more schizoid and ...weird they get.

Not like the 'riding a floor buffer cause I've had 5 shots of tequila in 5 minutes' weird, but the creepy, freaky, stalky kind of wierd.

 

Yes I am only talking about short lil periods where your confidence is down for whatever reason Not a general I'm not good enough attitude. I agree if they arent good enough i wouldnt be with them unless of course for a brief period of gettin some ass.

 

Yeah, I think I'm just flypaper for freaks.

 

Or maybe they are indeed not good enough for you!!

 

Oh man, I'm already fighting to not get a big head over several things. lol.

It's one thing to know you're pretty good, but once the ego gets bloated. Especially when the ego-bloating comes off as 'true'. I've found few things more obnoxious than a braggart who's actually capable of proving themselves right. I'd like to avoid being 'that' guy.