what do women mean when they say this?

i need a little insight from a woman's perspective, if anyone can help me.

when women say 'i need some space' from a relationship, it could mean any number of things, but i would like to know how you women felt when you had to tell that to your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/significant whatever.

i recently had my grlfriend tell me this because she is trying to move out of her ex's apartment and starting a new 'life'. so i understand that she needs some time and space to get things right in her head and in her life before she can fully commit herself to being with me and starting a relationship.

but the reason i am asking this is because any other time ive been told that a chick needs space is either because she plans on dumping me or just ignoring me until i stop contacting her. that's not the case this time, but im just wondering what reasons women have had for asking for space. any personal stories? maybe you could help me understand female motivation a bit more...

 

Sorry to give you bad news, but when I said this I was letting him down gently.

 

i say this to my bf a lot, when im having a day where i really need alone time. im an introvert, so if im feeling crappy or riled up, a lot of time i need a little alone time and space to regroup, mellow out, and re energize. but thats within the context of a relationship, and asking for space is for a few hours

otherwise, ive used it when someone felt like they were smothering me. wanted dto spend every waking moment with me, see me every day despite us having busy schedules (well, me at least), etc. its a big ass hint to mellow out, back off, and calm down. if they dont remedy taht, well, buhbye

 

It means that she needs to get laid bt several other men before she can settle down with any one man, be that you or another.

 

pretty much, yeah, dave's right.

 

Was she in a tiny room when she said this to you?

 

I am normally annoyed and trapped by a guy Id say this to...just to be totally real. When I say it I really mean " Back off and let me breath before I scream"

 

She's probably hinting at some sort of open relationship agreement. She's still interested in you, but at the same time she is interested in what else is out there.

 

People have different reasons for wanting some space... It could be due to her wanting to get her life settled (because you stated that she is moving..) It could be anything really... I wouldn't jump the gun and think the worst, but then I wouldn't sit around and wait and wait and continue to wait without any claification or talking to her to get over her wanting space...

 

Yea that's true shroomie. The way I see it, oh shit wait a minute why am I posting in this forum! What the!

 

yeah I think that's it.

 

she's definately moving out and she's already broken up with him. it's not like that, im 110% sure this chick wants to be with me and she wants a relationship and all that shit. it just puzzles me because i haven't been overbearing or wierd any of those things you guys have said.

and thanks shroom, that is good advice. im going to give her a few weeks and then contact her and get some clarification if she hasn't contacted me yet.

 

I would give her the space then let her be. If she is truly interested she will contact you. Of course that is me and I have a hard time chasing. I find that appeal is much greater when you dont show neediness. just my $.02 I could be wrong

 

needy guys are a turn off that's fo sho

 

Guys mistake it often for "being a good guy"

 

then women mistake it for clinginess. uke:

 

Amen sister. Amen!

 

when i say i need some space it means i need time to myself to think things over because things are not going fantastically and i need to figure out if the relationship is worth it or not, and if the guy bugs me at all during this time, i will just get annoyed and probably break up with him

 

I'm wondering. Is there a woman here who has told a boyfriend that she "needed space", he gave it to her and eventualy, they returned to being a couple?

A statistical study (or poll if you will)
If you (a woman) have been given your requested space, did that lead to
A) breaking up with the guy
B) staying with him.

 

i've only been in one other relationship, to be fully honest. so i don't think i'm a good measure. i'm strangley loyal. i don't choose lightly. and when i went through my breakup, not because he was a bad person, and ugly person or a jerk, it was because we just didn't suit. but i was young, naive and stupid. i tried to get out of it any way i could without being "mean." i understand now that being "mean" likely would have been less hurtful. i left one man to be with my perfect mate. there's nothing to make that easy. and being patronizing doesn't help at ALL. but youth does make for good intentions and bad game plans.