Use this thread to send letters to your co-workers, friends, relatives, people you've seen driving too and from work, etc. etc. Say what you want - they'll never read it! I got two I'd like to send... Dear McDonald's Sundae, You are normally disgusting, but today you were very satisfying. It was almost like hate-sex you know? Mmmm. P.S. Stop looking at me like that it wont work. Yours temporarily, NightRose AND Dear Neighbor, Your annoying little dogs have been barking for the last 3 hours. Its a lovely day and I would like to have my windows open, but the barking is driving me nuts. Why do you have dogs if all you do with them is tie them to the dead tree in the yard all day? I Know you are home because I saw you waddle into the house, and your POS car sterio is too loud. You have horrid taste in music. We've been through this before; Please turn it down or I will for you. So respectively, bite me. And go outside and get your dogs. Sincerly, The quiet person across the road. Your turn...
Ah, this game is a good one. Dear Dipshit train ticket seller guy at the train station. Yes, you know who you are...you know what you did. I understand that you have a shit job, probably a shit life too and haven't been laid in a few years, but does that really justify your complete and utter cuntery? I hope you can find it in your heart to change your ways and avoid such bad service in future. Yours somewhat insincerely, That kid you wouldn't sell a ticket to. Also... I love you, Ben! Not that I wouldn't say that to your face
Dear Maintenance, Thanks for taking nine days to figure out that there's a leak, in my locked air-conditioner closet. Chris
Dear management It is not ethical to keep me waiting for more than a month for my first paycheque because you cant' be arsed to spend 5 minutes mucking about with the human resources software. You have the authority, you did it for the bratty little **** you hired with the huge tits and see-through shirt. You know she's not going to sleep with you, you odious little troll. Why kid yourself? The employee that showed up every day because I need the money the job pays. and a 16 years backdated one Dear stupid high school girls. I am not the safe guy. I am not the counselor guy. I never cared about your problems with the stupid pricks you dated. I don't care about your period, your hangnail, what julie said about you. No, you're not pregnant, and you can't GET pregnant from giving oral. Oh you even swallowed. How nice for him. Remind me to deck him, because he rubs it in my face that he's screwing the girl that I'd like to be involved with. Don't tell me you want a guy 'just like me', because if you did, you wouldn't be throwing yourselves at these brain-dead jerks like dogs in heat. You date him- don't come to me about how horrible he's treating you. And don't patronize me, you stupid ****. You just keep me around as a friend so you have a free counselor. Get Syphills and die a horrible, cramping, bleeding death. the unpopular 'safe' counselor guy and also Dear Ex-roommate I hate you. I despise you beyond all reason. I'm very happy that I may have crippled you in the brawl we had on the day I left. I got tired of your princess and the pea attitude, ogre queen. You know WHY I'm glad I might have maimed you biting out the side of your knee? Because you might not be able to ride another horse. HA! Serve you right to lose one of your dreams, as you ruined more than one of mine. You stole more than ten THOUSAND dollars from me with that little stunt you pulled with my credit card. You stole the electric bill payments, then blamed me that the lights got shut off. I hate you. I hate the way that you'd start fights with the other roommate, that you'd bring them into my room and wake me up. Loud noises when I sleep now set me on edge and keep me up for hours. And no, you don't have the right to treat me like shit because I wouldn't let you put the other roommate out. You lied to him, you took him for nearly 70 thousand dollars, and then, when the money ran out, so did your 'affection'. You suck. I hope all of your karma hits you at once. I was happy to hear that you lost your house. Since I owned 1/4 of it. Yes, I paid that much of it. You never noticed. And no, I didn't do it for you, you selfish bitch. I did it for me, because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I was happy to hear you lost your car. Who the hell drives a 5 speed neon with a glass pack? I was tired of paying for it because there wasn't any other vehicle around. May you never breed. Your ex roommate. and To the Gainesville Independent School District Troglodytes. Asinine, pathetic, fungal masses. How dare you spend more on sports than books? You award your money for the teachers (almost all coaches) to shop for the classroom? How much of that money do you think actually makes it into the classroom? When you have a choir director that spends his classroom budget for the semester on a restored 64 1/2 mustang? Regular students don't deserve this treatment. Gifted students do NOT benefit by being held back, no matter how good their grades are, for 'social interaction' WTF? These people were not our peers, never would be our peers. I was capable of talking shop with the instructors in 4th grade. Intellectually, you people are incapable of understanding even a moderately gifted student, let alone a genius. No wonder the district is in the bottom ten of the state. And yet, every year, the school board successfully votes in ANOTHER raise for themselves? Not the teachers. The School board. There are a few good teachers that don't use the classroom fund for their own pocket money, and they make the least money in the district. You didn't ruin my life, but you had a damn good go at it. Saying it wasn't possible for a child to be as smart as I was, so I had to have ADD, and had to be either forcibly medicated or my mother be sent to jail, because you lot wouldn't let me back on campus unless I was doped out of my mind. I was BORED. I understood the problem the first half dozen times. I can prove it. Not only have I solved the problem, I've gone over real world applications of it. I tested, at 12 with a 185 IQ, you bastards. That's when you finally admitted that there was nothing wrong with me. By then, I'd been taught that excelling, to follow the words you used, 'Means nothing. Only your ability to socialize with the children your own age. Nothing you can say or do will make us move you ahead until we think you're ready, even if we keep you in 5th grade until you're 18.' I didn't care anymore. And I'm picking up the pieces now, and will be for the rest of my life. You didn't break me, but you managed to make me utterly miserable for 10 years of my life. The irony...If you'd allowed me to be skipped ahead and test out of the classes, we could have been quit of each other 6 years earlier. I could've passed the high school testing in 6th grade. I learned how to be lazy, to rebel in the only way that I knew. To annoy you because you finally said 'you can do so much, why won't you work?' Why should I work to please you, since nothing I did, no matter how it'd please myself, would change the fact that even if I exceeded expectations, would get me nowhere. You, I reserve the worst of my hate, the worst of my anger, the worst of all that I feel. Because of you, your casual cruelty in trying to drag down someone better to the 'mundane' you have earned my undying, unmitigated hate. A disgruntled ex-student.
Dear Participants in this Thread, You may all be upset, but you're phrasology is making me giggle. I love you for it. Love, NightRose
Dear OP amusing sig pic. thanks for the love. here's some back. and Dear american lawmakers. How much of a kickback are you getting from the war on drugs? Why not a war on murder? or a war on child abuse? Let Pot go already. We know that it's because of dupont and a bunch of racist pricks in the 20s. It's 2008- stop the nefarious subjugation and abuse of this poor beleaguered plant. Let us grow hemp and smoke buds, and quit arresting old hippies, college kids and grandparents with glaucoma and arthritis. I guess there's too much money to be made in stealing from the people, huh? Glad to know you guys 'work for us', huh? I'd hate to see the kind of greedy, grasping, profiteering bloodsucking leeches you lot'd be if you were criminals. 'You're the king? Well I didn't vote for you. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!'. Never was a truer line spoken in jest. I will smoke pot, whether you like it or not. By the way, assholes, I qualify for medical pot with 3 of the incurable conditions I have. (Celiac, Arthitis and Fibromyalgia). Since I'm a white male of 30 years of age, I don't qualify for any help. No concern for the human dignity of your subjects. And people wonder why I'm trying to save money to go elsewhere? Oh, and by the way. Social security? F%$K you! We both know it's not going to be there when I turn 65, so why should I let you rip me off every damn paycheque? And when did it become mandatory? an unhappy subject of the plutocratic empire of amerika.
Dear Tv. Turn yourself off. I can't be bothered to walk to you. Your owner. ------------ Dear Bladder Stop making me need to get up and go for a wee. I have not enough energy. Yours, the rest of you. -------------- Dear Raoul Haussman. I do apologise for leaving you in your hamster ball all night. It was a mistake, I thought you were asleep in your cage, until you rolled past me this morning. Love, the one that feeds you.
to females past To whom it may concern. I wash my hands of you. I wash my hands of your bitchy behaviour. I did my best in every relationship, and still I was brushed aside, pushed aside, cheated on, used, left behind and abandoned. Jaala, Briley, Christie, Jennifer. You four really screwed with my mind and heart. Fuck you all. You came to me as wounded birds, cried and wept, and I gave my all to help you learn to fly, to heal you, because you each promised you wouldn't hurt me, wouldn't abandon me, would be loyal and loving. Each one of you lied to me. You didn't deserve me. I don't hate you, but each of you are beneath my notice. You are less than ants, less than real to me. Illusions. Jennifer- I no longer wish to be angry with you, but you held me a prisoner of hate, envy, pride, and fear for 18 months. You have left terrified, gaping, bleeding scars on my heart. I loved you, but all you knew was to take. You lied to me from the first day we met becuase you were so afraid I couldn't accept you as you were. Everything I had with you was a lie. I do not wish to have any feeling for you whatsoever. May you get everything you ever desire. May you never want, and may you never need for anything. Vanessa- There was no point in us calling each other a couple. You weren't intrested in anything lasting. After all, you had boys there. Fae- I can understand, but I don't agree with it. That doesnt' change the fact that you both lied, you broke your promises, you embarassed me not only as a girlfriend, but also with your behaviour as a submissive. You told the world that you had a dom that couldn't keep you in line after begging and pleading with me, emotionally manipulating me to give you the freedom to 'take care of your family'. Either one of you could have had me for life if you'd paid more attention, given a thought to being one whit less selfish. I don't hate you, but I have no respect for either of you. Neko, Erica, Emma. I find no fault with you. Emma, You helped me learn, even though the way was rough. I find myself wishing I could have done more things right, but evidently it wasn't supposed to happen this time around. I love you still. You are a dear friend to me, and may that never change. Neko- You and I came the closest, and we got caught up in the churning dark waters and slipped out of each other's grasp. I do still love you, but our friendship seems to have been pushed aside. Erica-We were no longer good for each other, even after splitting up. I'm sorry for that. I'll see that what I owe you comes to you. I know it seems I've forgotten or brushed it off. I haven't. I've been unable. I have a pell grant coming in this fall. Meghan- I do not consider you a 'woman past', but I have some words for you as well. You know my past, and I ask you, if we come together again, learn from those past. I love you as much as Emma, as much as Neko, but there are things I will do for you that I'll do for no one else. But you know this. Gravity-Merely a suggestion. I feel the inexorable tug again, just as I did while we were trying to deny that we had feelings for each other. This letter ends now. I've said what I wanted to say, and this is me releasing pent up crap. I don't need to carry this shit along with me anymore. Aubrey
Dear Wallet, Why are you so empty? why is the zippered pocket only filled with pennies.. of, no more than 12 cents? why! why can't you keep a paycheque for more than a week! why must you be so empty!! why!!!!!!!! Yours Truley, Miss Big Spender.
Dear Color-Blinded-Acquaintance, I thought we were friends when we rode the bus home together, hung out with the same people, and kissed. However your persistent remarks about me being "A fuckin' vegan", "A fuckin' hippie", and "A horrible plant killer" annoy me. I am not stupid, I am no whore. I know if I couldn't see color either, I'd also be a very harsh individual. Truely, The fucking vivid color seeing vegan hippie plant killer. PS. Im eating fruity pebbles right now. The pinks and blues and purples are splendid. AND To the school district, Upon officially making it out of my second year of your horrid schooling system, I wish to thank you for the obvious. One, keeping me from getting shot. I know a lot of schools in this country do not have little old ladies sitting at entrances, they protect us a great deal. Two, making sure I grow as a person in very stimulating settings. Theres nothing like having Shakespeare tossed at you and being told to interpret while all you can hear in the back round is other kids calling eachother cunts. Stop treating us like cogs in machines and treat us like individuals. There should not be such an abstract basis of my smarts and worth in society and it sure as hell shouldn't be determined by dashes on a dumb scantron. If you want to prep us for the 'real world' treat us like we are real and not robots. Two more years. Not like I exsist, Some Student.
Dear Forum Trolls. You suck. Someone that posts on a serious thread, about serious issues, doesn't deserve to be mocked just because you're an insecure twat. Grow up. I feel sorry for those that have to put up with you. Person with one more reason to hate people on general principle.
Dear M. I am not responsible for your issues. I'm upset with you ruining our relationship from the inside, tearing down every loving support that we had for each other, breaking every promise you ever made, being dishonest, spiteful, cruel, rude, arrogant, vindictive and catty. I did the absolute best I could as a male, and from those that know you, I've evidently the patience of a saint for putting up with you. I still love the 'real' you, deep down, but I can't stand to talk to you now, as you've gone from being sweet, loving, loyal and dedicated to the idea of us, to a defensive sneaky alley-cat, with less morals or principles, and turned the fact that I loved you as a weapon against me by saying 'if you loved me, you'd let me do this'. I hate that phrase, because it turns love into a weapon....but here it is for you. 'If you loved me, you wouldn't have treated me the way you did.' The person that loves you more than anyone else, that you just so casually threw away, because of your own issues.
Dear Sir or Madam Thank you for pissing all over the public washroom toilet seat....I just love to sit on other peoples piss...again thank you for your services
dear gram cracker, You're no cracker to me. You're more than that. To me, you're a cookie. yours truly, shroomland.
Dear sir or madam Thank you for parking your car a whole two inches from my drivers door..Its really OK because I have fold down seats and I really enjoy climbing thru the trunk to get in .....This is also a good time to explain why I drive a piece of junk....I dont really care about little dings when people open their car doors into mine..Im sure it doesn't bother you either..enjoy the new vertical creases I've installed in the right side of your Jaguar.... yours respectfully...BBAD
