Bit of a sticky situation here...

This is my first post. Hi to all, and I hope you can help me out a little with a problem I'm having. If by anything, just by talking to me about it.

I'm a 17 year old male and I have a girlfriend of 4 months(through Paranoia, that's why my name is Anonymous!) and basically have a lot of time to myself, recently. I don't know whether or not this has effected what I have started doing lately, because it has happened before.

Now just to let you know, I have absolutely nothing against the Gay/Lesbian community. You are normal people, sometimes treated wrongly as odd individuals. Used to think the same way myself before I matured.

Since recently I've started getting a lot of time to myself, and I've been confided to my bedroom for a lot of that. During this time, I have absolutely nothing to keep me occupied for more than a couple of hours at most. So what does any young virgin guy do with the internet at his fingertips in the privacy of his room?

I resorted to free pornography, of course. I've wasted countless hours jacking off to this screen over the past couple of weeks, but even when it was less frequent, I still had only a set group of videos I would watch.

Just recently, I got this craving that I had a couple of years ago back. On one of the sites, conveniently placed within all the straight pornographic material, was a video of 2 guys together.

Suddenly, I got this feeling back from a couple of years ago as I said. Once within safe knowledge that my family had gone to sleep for the night, or were out of the house, I'd go onto chatrooms looking for guys on webcam. I'd use a different e-mail address and go into webcam chat with them, jacking off to them jacking off. I never showed my face out of pure paranoia. Heck, I got to the point where it aroused me just to know someone was watching me. One guy I really, really got into. He was about 18, all he could send me was pictures from a camera, and he lived across the pond. I would sit there every night waiting for him to come on, because I got on with him so well. He loved every minute of it. Obviously because I never got proof of who he said he was, I never knew whether he was who he said he was, but the guy I thought I was talking to was the one I basically fell in love with. He was the only guy I ever talked to about this curiosity rather than just tell them I was gay/bi.

I eventually lost contact and once I returned to school, those days were over. I don't think it ever happened again after that. I soon got back into liking girls alone. I looked around and never found interest in any of the guys I was friends with, and ended up asking about 3 girls out in my final year of school. Moving onto college and after a traumatic summer, I came back to college and got with my current girlfriend over 4 months ago. I'm even taking her out for a meal tomorrow night out of my love for her. I have only seen her once throughout these last couple of weeks though when I began watching guys once more.

So back to the point, when I did start watching the guys more, I became accustomed to it. I could only really get off to guys, and it seemed as though my interest in straight pornography had nulled. Then one night last week, I managed to find something which I wondered was fit to perhaps try and put in my ass. I didn't push it too far, but it went in further than I expected it too. I enjoyed it so much I filmed it a couple of times with my phone and jerked off to the film. I deleted it straight after though.

Added to this, I now really, REALLY want to know what it's like to suck a dick. I'm so god-damned horny for it, my dick is constantly hard. It just wants more pleasuring.


Now my problem is this, though. I have a girlfriend who I committed to. I am attracted to her, but coming out to her will not help our relationship at all. She dumped her last boyfriend upon finding out he was bi-sexual and may well have had a sexual encounter with another guy before he got with her. I know it isn't really fair on her to lie to her, but I can't help but think that it's just my hormones going crazy for some fun. I'm still a virgin, and I wasn't too bothered by that. Peer pressure hasn't been able to get to me since I joined college, so I told my girlfriend that she can decide in her own time when she wants to have sex with me, because she's a little insecure, though that has started wearing off a bit lately around me, and we have talked about the possibility of doing it this summer.

Right now though, I want to suck and play with a dick more than eat and play with a pussy. I want to fuck a guy's ass rather than a girl's pussy. I want to be fucked by a guy, because I'm just insanely curious.


Is there any advice that you could give me?

Is there not enough there for you to give any advice? If so, ask about my situation, and I will most probably answer.

I really hope that my girlfriend doesn't find her way onto this site, and I shall be deleting it from my history for when she comes round tomorrow. I won't be a stranger though. I really hope there's people on here who can talk me through what I'm doing right now.

 

To start off... gay people aren't normal, we're fucking nuts

But seriously, you could either:
1 -Talk to her about it, which doesn't sound like too much of an option.
2- Try to let it go and just keep going with your girlfriend.
3- Go out and have a safe, no strings attached one night stand.

 

1. Isn't an option really, after what I told you about the last guy.
2. I think this may be what I have to do.
3. This got me thinking though. It's just where does a 17 year old guy go for a one night stand?

 

Being 16, I wouldn't know. It can't be long till you're allowed into bars, right? Unless you live in america. In canada the legal drinking age is 18 (except quebec, but fuck quebec).

Gay people at school who are just looking for a good time? Local chat rooms?

 

About 4 months for me. I'm from the UK.

I'm now wondering whether I should just let these times pass.

I managed to control myself a little over the past few days, what with seeing the girlfriend and all. We spent a great few hours just lieing around in my room.

I wouldn't be ashamed of being bisexual, but it's just a difficult situation because of the girlfriend. She may be leaving for University come September next year, so we may split up because I'm not keen on a long-distance relationship. Then I'll be free to do what I wanted to do.

I don't think I would find it that difficult then letting it out that I'm bisexual. I pick my friends carefully, so I know I have friends that wouldn't judge me, and I know I have a family that wouldn't take the piss either.

 

Hey,

i had a similar situation. except im gay not bi so i knew it wasnt gonna work out so i broke up with her and told her i was gay.

if your bi you should stay with your girlfriend. i wouldnt have a one night stand because dosnt that constitute as cheating??

oh, and im just curious but what did u stick up your ass?

 

I say get talking to people near you - that you may think are gay or up for a 1 night stand and then see how it goes from there.