Hello, I need some advice on an intervention. Over the past two months, I have become very good friends with my neighbor. To the point that him, myself, and my other friend just signed a lease on a house. This guy, "James" is a very good person, has joint custody of a beautiful 2 year old daughter, and has a drinking/drug problem. I use drugs (pot, psychedelics, and alcohol) in moderation. The last couple days, I have been playing guitar with James and we have the most amazing chemistry when it comes to music. It is like we were meant to play together. Which, incidentally, came at the perfect time as my band and I were looking for that final piece (something wasn't right with our sound). Through playing guitar with him the last couple days, I realized he has a potential drug problem that I never realized before. He says he cannot (and won't) play unless he is really high and really drunk. He also has a very low self confidence although he is the most amazing guitar player I have ever seen... literally. This, added to some other conversations about his past has made me realize that he could be in trouble. He seems to be doing OK now... just drinks, smokes pot, and takes acid when he can get his hands on it. He used to do much harder drugs. I am worried that if we proceed with the band, the lifestyle is going to lead him down that road to hard drugs again, considering the music scene is full of drugs. Together, I think him plus our band have the combined talent and chemistry to make a very successful band in our region. As a friend I do not want to face the consequences of drug abuse that many musicians face such as losing friends. What do I do? How can someone that does drugs tell someone else they have a drug problem? What can I do to get him help? I know I didn't give a good description of what makes me think he has a problem, but please trust me.... I KNOW he has one. Thanks for the friendly advice in advance!
the odds are quite high aganist you pulling this off for, you to help your friend james. since you use drugs yourself he, more then likely will use that fact aganist you. some people would say "just let him hit bottom." that works a good deal of the time; unforuratly sometimes the "bottom" means the death of the user and/or others. you have however hit on the main root of his abuse though... poor self-esteem. james needs intenstive psychotherapy with someone skilled in drug abuse and addiction. now, back to your question about an intervention. interventions are most times quite hard and messy to pull off! you sound like you live in a city. i advise that you go to meeting of a recovery group like aa and/or al-anon and share your concerns with the people in the group. they have all gone through the same type of shit your going now. let them help you with an intervention. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TRY TO GO IT ALONE! i'm quite sure we have one hell of alot of members here at hip forums who, have been down this same road too as, you are now. i'm sure they will be glad to help out. just a little about me. i come from a long family line of drug abusers. i was once a psychotherapist too and, i go to acoa (adult childern of alcoholics) all the time. i too, at one time was a drug abuser. i mention this to just let you know that, i do know what i am talking about. whatever you do i wish the best for both you and your friend james.
Thank you for the kind words! After spending some more time thinking about it I have decided to help from afar. I have met some of his friends who are all very poor influences. Also, he has stated how he enjoys hanging out with my friends and I because we are more positive influences... so at least he realizes that! He is moving in with us and we can continue to be a good influence on him. Hopefully we can help him out. I will also check into other options if things get worse... but I am confident that they will get better.
