I'm just wondering, because this seems to go through my head a lot with my girl... firstly, if a girl really seems interested in you, but won't have sex yet - or seems reluctant yet kisses your neck, chest, etc... seductively, does it mean that she's only holding off to see if you're true, or just leading you on so that you'll stay with her intellectually/emotionally? And secondly, is the difference between very good friends, and a girlfriend, the love or the sex?
It is probably about allowing another to 'enter' ones space. or something like that. It maybe about trust ... intelectualy/emotionaly well some girls are like that i supppose others like to f*** like bunnies and non of that other stuff matters as much. I would like a g/friend that likes me intelectualy/emotionaly has trust in me and likes to F*** like a rabbit ... I always get 1 out of 3 so far *sigh*. I think sex is the diffrence ...
Maybe you should ask her openly how far she's willing to go, or at what pace she wants to... Maybe she hasn't done very much with previous boys, or they didn't treat her well when she tried. Maybe she has some qualms about being intimate with you (not just sex, but genuinely intimate). Are you guys doing this at a spot where you might get caught by parents or such? That might be throwing her off, making her nervous. It could be a huge variety of reasons, so just ask her! Don't be mean about it, just be like... "Hey, I just want to make sure I'm not pushing you into doing anything... how fast do you want to go? Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable about us?"
Yeah arite, thanks... i'm just used to being pretty promiscuous, and thought that a relationship would do me some good. She's a great girl, we talk about things i've never talked about, i make her laugh and smile, we kiss a lot, she's been with me in her undies only... but always stops short at that. I don't know if it's me, as i've been successful with women thus far. I know her ex was an abusive bastard so that might be a reason. But other from that I don't know, she's gorgeous and fairly smart and i know that i rub her the right ways (usually) emotionally and intellectually, but it's making me kind of insecure that she won't fuck yet. Don't get me wrong, I would like our sex to be intimate and sincere, but this is to the point of almost turning me off. It's like my sex drive towards her has been shut off, and now i feel like i just want her as a really good friend while i go around getting with other girls... The weird thing is , that before when we had a little 'break' i had sex twice and both times it... it just didn't feel right, i wasn't really turned on by this other girl whereas previously, with this girl, just sucking her tits and caressing her body would turn me on so much more. Yet... now it's kind of like, that's all i'm gonna get and do, so why do it? You know? I can talk to her and probably cuddle with her just like now, yet release the whole sex-deal with someone else... help!?
Oh, and Ihmurria, thanks for your replies but i just can't ask her that. It makes me look stupid, we're both dominant strong people and me asking her that just looks bad... i don't know, the situations and circumstances just don't fit well with anything like, "hey baby, I don't want you to feel as if i'm pushing anything..." etc...
Sex isn't the difference. I had sex with my friend. We weren't dating nor were we in a relationship. We were just friends who enjoyed sex. Holly
it's weird... because i can 'love friends' and i can sex them too... can i say that? to sex someone? Anyways... meh... thanks for the replies guys. And i think also, that there are limits to the things you can be open about to the person who you 'love'... somethings, i suppose, will always die with you
Grim-rebel ... post 4 and 8 made me uncomftable a little because apart from me not being promiscuos i have dealt with both issues in the past (not very well). Maybe you both are prety special to each other and she may think once you have sex .. you could get bored and leave her.. she may think she is just a conquest ... anyway i hope you work things out .
Grim, maybe she is in some sort of a relationship (bf/gf or just good old fuck buddies) with another guy at the moment??
well im just like her...ur gf that is...im scared to do anything with my bf other then fool around with no actual sex...its cus im scared that im just like everyone else if i do that, adn i want to make sure im different fisrt...as for being turned off...idk, i think this is the time u should say SOMETHING not the whole am i moving too fast thing, but ask if theres anything wrong, or talk about somthing that would eventually start a convo on her insecurities...cus it sounds like thats what is her problem, so try talking, but not in a stupid obvious way
Since her last relationship had abuse in it she probably is frightened that if you get what you want, including sex, she'll end up getting hurt. He mind is probably putting you through a test to make sure she won' get used and left. Now I think that love is the big diff between a person who is a friend and a b/f or g/f. Because you love your friends yes, but a bf or gf you had a deeper love for.
Wow. What an old message. Well, we fuck a lot now. Too much. I ran through four or five condoms last night, which pisses me off because i'm looking into tantra and how to just use one condom (or none!). Anyways, this kind of makes me laugh at how love skews your thoughts. We're still in love, but i think i'm seeing too much of her. Does anyone else get that? That you still want to keep something with someone, but seeing too much of them kind of ruins the magic? I'm gonna get around this by making other plans, and trying to shift the relationship to a more progressive level, still in the present, but brief and intense as opposed to stretched out, tired, but dotted with intense...umm..sex.
she doesn't trust you enough yet to sleep with you and wants to make sure of your intentions and doesn't want to regret giving herself to you that way.
i really seem to have trouble with women... i don't know if i'm just in love with being in love, or i'm just made for mid-term relationships... I can't get it through my head that a girl loves me and wants to stay with me no matter what, it just doesn't register. They seem so treacherous and like all they want to do is play guys and move on. Ahh... whatever, sorry for the ramble... i guess i'm just insecure... shit sucks. madd love
