Ladies, I'm in need of advise.

I'm here today to ask for assistance. It's taken me a while to admit this, but I am not the master of the bedroom that I once thought I was and I'm badly in need of advice on the topic of foreplay.

I'm trying to pull myself out of the Kiss twice, assault her breasts, lick her out for a few minutes and then try to dive in foreplay routine. It just isn't fair to her as she is absolutely amazing at keeping foreplay interesting and new for me. I owe this to her.

I know that the thing that gets her turned on the best is by me fingering her, however I'm a metal worker and have hands that are rougher than an SOS pad and all they manage to do is to hurt her. NOT what I want to happen. Once again, not fair. I'm starting to moisturize my hands and use calace removers to try to file down the rough parts of the skin on my hands so they won't hurt her as much. However I'm looking for other things to do as well.

We have used the tip of my penis to stimulate her clit and it seems to help, however it feels so good on my part that once I'm inside of her I last all of 30 seconds and she doesn't get off. Once again, not fair.

I love giving her massages but lately I've been cutting them far too short opting for a thirty second rub and moving on. This I'm doing everything that I can to change. Full body massages are now something that I'm going to be doing to ensure that they last longer. Will this help?

What I'm really asking here is what can I do to enhanse the foreplay experience for her. Sex is always better for me if I know that it's been good for her. In fact I don't mind if I don't get off so long as I know that she's had an amazing time. So I humbly ask, what can I do? I don't want our relationship to suffer because of my lack of foreplay. She deserves better than that.

H.

 

I would say that you are ahead of teh game anyway... and it is great that you want to please her... that is a huge step there... some guys only think of themselves and how they can get off... Sounds like you really care and want her to be pleased and that is great.. foreplay.. well use different items to stimulate her. Learn to take your time that is the important thing... and as far as the 30 second thing... what about a cock ring ???

 

Seeing as this is my DH I will put in that he is too thick to wear a cock ring. It would be super hard to find one. (pun intended)

 

try reading some erotica written by women. you should find lots of good things to try there.

 

Use your mouth more than your hands during foreplay. To last longer, check out my thread on "Premature Ejaculation" in the Sexual Health forum for 10 techniques to overcome it.

 

PE isn't an issue that I need to worry about. Just when the tip of my penis is used to stimulate her clit before sex.

 

You could put on leather gloves to finger her. Otherwise get this lotion from bath and body works called Glove Me Tender. There is also a one minute hand treatment the makes your hands very soft.

here is a link to the True Blue products:
http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=true blue spa&origkw=true blue spa&sr=1

 

More help please

 

try to stay in the moment instead of continuing to look forward to the sex. in fact, dont even have sex. if it will help you slow down, learn to enjoy the so called "forplay" for it's own sake, not because you get to have sex afterwards. do everything softly and slowly to try to make it last longer. you can make out for an hour even without doing anything else.

necking really turns me on. my neck is really sensitive, so it feels awesome. but make sure you're doing it right. also, try to pay attention to what your partner is doing and HOW she is doing it because a lot of women will touch/kiss/whatever their partner the way that they want to be touched/kissed/fucked/whatever...

 

Nice thanks alot.

 

Bumped *more info PLEASE*

 

I'll kick in my 2 cents here.

Foreplay, and the whole experience, should be either find the tune and rhythm that she responds too, or to play that tune and rhythm. This can be a lot of fun. You are worrying too much about putting in a great performance. Great musicians, actors and athletes don't worry about putting on an epic performance.. They just "Play it". There is no hard and fast checklist that you can follow that will make you a great lover. But listening to her, and studying her (taking note of what works and what doesn't) will help you. If you know your hands are rough, fix 'em up lol.

I think that she appreciates the fact that you care about her, to ask on a public forum how to please her. That takes a lot of guts as a man.

Take the time to "play", don't assault her breasts.. Do everything you do out of love.. Not out of "I get to cum soon!".. Make it about her. I am sure your efforts will be rewarded.

If that doesn't work, do the dishes and the laundry.. Chicks dig that too.

 

So true. I do really love the fact that he posted this, it takes alot of balls.

 

Hehe,
uhoh. trade you hnads and fingers for a dildo. Use that on her instead of your hands while playing at the Y. You nailed it as far as full body massages go. They work for me very well. I love giving them as well as she likes receiving.
It's a real nice way to get the sensual juices flowin.

Good luck and dont worry about cummin. you'll get your's soon enough (as stated above)

 

You know with so few men answering I'm really wondering if men these days do forplay.

*bait*

 

I am the mighty necro-poster ~~~lets keep this going~~~~

 

i'm not sure about where you're from... but i know around where i live there are things called slumber parties... mostly for women.. but i went to one and it has things that tingle creams that warm toys all that... maybe you should get some of that tingler shit... i put some on....WOW really it was amazing on a million different levels and my boyfriend wasn't even in the same room it didn't make me orgasm but it made me super horny and ready to go. maybe you should get her some of that if you are looking for like tricks.... i know that being fingered and eaten at the same time does fun things for me... and also try shit like eating her out with ice cubes just a few things i know i enjoy hope things get better for ya!
good luck
-kush-

 

for the fore play try a bounch of differnt thing my gf and i like those flavored things and dont do the same thing again and again. spent more time on the out side of the pussy before going in i think women are sensitive around ther to besides the clit
make little games up just for fun blindfold her ( this thrils my gf not knowing what ill do hope it works on ur lady)
or get some fruit and wip cream)No dairy hand have a salad lol
or wait i have it here some where her its this book
Top 100 Love Making Techniques Of All Time i have a pdf file of it. if any one wants it let me know
in the beginning of my relationship i only saw her ever4-6 months so i read up on the female body and ways to blow her mind

 

it is important to actually enjoy the foreplay, so you don't feel like, as has been mentioned, it's just a box to check before you can proceed to sex.
and keep in mind that a lot of the greatest parts about sex are psychological.

like NikkiLou said, mirror your partner - people tend to do with their lovers what they want their lovers to do with them.

stay away from the pussy and even the clit for a while. one of my favorite things to do is to kiss/lick etc inside of thighs, stomach, all the areas around the pussy, basically teasing.

massages, necking, nibbling on ears, touching, kissing and licking all the sensitive and semi-erogenous zones are all good.

then there's dirty talk. you gotta feel your partner out on this one; personally I suck at it and wish I was better. but if your partner likes it, and especially if your partner does it, make sure to reciprocate!

be a man. physical strength is awesome - I like to pick my girls up, slam them against walls, stand up with their legs wrapped around me, throw them on the bed, light hair pulling and pinning them down or restraining arms. I guess this sort of stuff might not be too compatible with the massage/light kissing style foreplay :tongue:

but taking charge is important in any sexual situation. they seem to love it when you tell them how to suck your dick, for example.

but one of the benefits of being in a relationship is that you can communicate more freely than you can with just some random you brought home for the night. I think both people are responsible for their own orgasms, and having a good time can be so much easier if you can just talk about your likes and dislikes and make sure your partner is as well-informed about how you tick sexually as possible.

 

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this. I've been working on the foreplay thing and thigs are getting better. They're still not as good as I'd like them to be, but they are better. I've found that the more time during the day I spend sending erotic messages back and fourth from my cell to hers, the better things go that night. Make a full day out of the foreplay. As far as things are going in the bedroom, I'm doing my best to take more time before hand and that seems to be working. I still need to spend more time on the foreplay but once again, it's better than it was.

I've been taking better care of my hands which has made a HUGE difference. I use a pummice stone on my hands aftera long soak in the bath to remove the calices from around my finger tips. I'm trying not to bite off the dead skin from around my fingernails so that there's no rough bits around my nails caused from the differing levels of skin. I'm using an emery board on my fingernails to keep the sharp edges down. All of these facts have resulted in better foreplay for her and a lot less lube-in-a-bottle needed before hand.

I'm paying more attention to how she touches me and how she reacts when I touch her. Still not perfect, but better once again.

Things are getting better slowly but surely. Sex has been fantastic lately but I'm still working on making it even better. Who can argue with better sex? I know I can't.

Still learning but loving it.

H.