Resposibility of the Victim

If somebody is harassed/molested/raped/abused, is it their moral obligation to report the crime so as to protect other potential victims?

Or is it OK to keep quiet?

 

tis a hard one since many a times the victim is made into a criminal and all they do report it, on the other hand when one knows an individual is a disgusting puke bag ,keeping them from harming others is always a good thing.
I say shoot them on the spot,,, n call it self defense

 

Only if you liked it. Then you can keep quiet.

Peace

 

this is very hard... i am acctual a victim of molestation and rape... and it is hard to keep quiet... eventually down the road it will effect you in some way... if you try to talk to someone all they will say is go to the police, do you need to go to the hospital, oh my god are you ok, the fake pity type ya know... honestly i would call the police and tell them about this person and have them look into, just tell them that you have suspisions that this person might be molesting/raping other people and that they should look into it.. and have you name as anonymous... because if this person did it to one they will do it to many as long as they have access to it!!!

 

Depends greatly on the situation. If say, its a child, most times they are groomed to feel ashamed of the situation. nobody wants to be embarassed in front of a world of strangers. Other times they are led to believe that the abuse is not abuse, but normal, and not until much later, when that person has been out of the picture for years do they realize. If it is a random rape, its different. domestic abuse/ harassment is different. an adult does have the responsibility to tell. imo.

 

Crime Stoppers is anonymous, I'm not sure if anyone else has something like this but you can tell them information without saying who you are. And they CAN'T trace it.

I guess I'd call them, but it's different in different situations but in most cases I'd say report it

were you raped, red?

 

No. There has been a pretty high profile case at he local uni over here though where one of the teachers was molesting students and threatening their grades if they didn't comply.

A girl video-taped him 2 days ago and sent it to the police and the papers. It's now coming out that this has been going on for about 8 years but nobody came forward before.

I wish I could contact the girl an tell her how grateful I am that she was as brave as she was.

 

People who don't understand why victims don't report were obviously never a victim.

 

Yeah man, that's crazy! I had a teacher hit on me but I just asked the principal if I could switch classes because I was uncomfortable. Back then I didn't really know it was THAT wrong, just it was creepy.

 

I've never been a victim victim, but I have an idea where you're coming from because I've been in a position like that where you have to decide to tell or not, both of which could have harsh results even though you know what one is right, it's still hard.

and even though you've said everyone's said this, I'm sorry it happened to you.


what if your a bystander or near-stander to it and either the victim or the dirt bag make you swear on your life not to tell, would you?

 

i know a couple girls who didn't report. both times it was because they didn't think they would be believed. they weren't exactly "good girls," though one was a virgin, just stupid. got into a stupid mess, got overpowered, took the blame. one of the guys became a cop and answered a complaint at his victim's house. that's a lotta therapy out the window. moral obligations? i refuse to put that on anyone who's having a hard enough time sleeping through the night without being put through the process of questioning again and again and testifying.

do you know what it's like to testify? i felt dirty and disgusting for YEARS. i'll never be okay with that. they did try to make it easy on me, but the accused was IN THE COURTROOM watching me testify. i still did it, though.

 

God...I know it's the victim's responsibility to report it, but I also know I didn't have the balls to do the same. My dad raped me 3-4 years ago after being absent from my life. I did not report it to the police and his other kids live with him and work for him. I like to tell myself I didn't say anything because I didn't want to change their quality of life, but the truth is I didn't have the balls to report it and was afraid it was somehow my fault.

 

You are so brave. Thank you for that post. It mad me feel so better. That is how I feel. I just feel so dirty and ashamed sometimes. I feel like I try to accomplish things, look nice on the outside etc to hide how filthy I feel inside. It's so hard sometimes.

 

I didnt say anything after I told my mom that my step father was raping me and she had him start paying "my part of the rent" I was fucking 14 years old. She did it to my sister too. She let a 20 year old man move in and sleep in the same bed as my 14 year old sister and had him "pay her side of the rent" too. Sometimes its not worth the strain on your mind seeing as youve probably been through enough and that would only elongate the time you have to deal with it.
I ran into him a couple times since he split when my sister threatened to call cps on my mom and she made him leave. Once i was at a restaurant and he came up to me with a smile on his face and asked me if I was by myself. he was with a woman and I waited for her to go to the bathroom, followed her in and told her what he did. They didnt live together, but were dating and she has two girls. the other time was at wal-mart and i was with the dick. He doesnt know, but he saw i was uncomfortable so we left. Its been 8 years since he touched me, and I hardly think about it, but I dont think telling anyone will do much. he is almost 70 years old. I just dont want to spend any more of my life on that asshole.

 

It really makes me sad/mad/confused and many other emotions I can't really explain that people do these things. No one deserves to be treated like that under any circumstances.

Although something that bothers me a lot is people lying about being raped for attention or to feel "good" about themselves without concerning themselves with the consequences of their actions. I know two girls who said they were raped and later came clean one way or another. This one girl, "L" even told us who it "was" and everything. A bunch of us went to the guys house, ready to bash him in (though it's not the BEST way to deal with it) but luckily he wasn't home and she went on with this for months with the whole "I don't know if I can tell the police..." thing.

 

Ive thought about outing him to everyone. I know where he lives and works.. but Im just putting my faith that whatever greater power is out there will get him and get him good. i hope he goes through hell like I did in the time it took me to accept that it wasnt my fault. I dont feel dirty and the shame is minimal since I didnt do anything wrong. he did. I havent had any therapy, and I dont think i need it anymore. I found weed and it helped me loads. still does. kinda keeps the monster at bay. It made me the strong person i am today, and I like that.

 

my sister and cousin have been in situations where some things have happened...its got to the point where they won't even tell me about what happened, nevermind who did it. they used to tell me what happened.

they know i'll kill the guy

 

I do feel for the victims in this situation and I completely understand the reluctance to come forward about things like this, especially for children. It must be terrible.

I was just wondering. Would any of you feel badly if the scumbag went on after you, and raped somebody else, maybe even killed them? Like maybe you could have prevented it from happening?

I just feel angry that so many students at this university let this guy carry on molesting people for 8 years before one girl actually said something.

 

it's a psychological crime as well as a violent one. i don't hold anyone responsible for not being able to face up to something like that. not everyone has the strength, not everyone has someone to support and believe them. not everyone can even face it honestly, what happened to them. a lot of women will blame themselves, think they had it coming. it's almost impossible to explain the shame. just surviving it is hard enough. so no, even if someone could have stopped the people who hurt me by speaking up, i can't blame them for not doing so. because sometimes i feel like i'd have slept easier at night if no one ever knew.

 

Yeah. I don't believe in any form of moral responsibility anyways.