Letting go.

Damn Volcom, I really hope you make it man, right now for me its only bud, but thats enough for me to reprioritize my day and pretty much model good amounts of time on smoking, every day... I guess thats good if your happy with where you are, but seriously, living in my parents house, going to a CC, i want more i remember wanting to be some kind of crazy ass scientist when i was a little kid, and every day that goes by it seems like im choosing toking up over what i really have to do, im not talking about basic survival shit, like working and staying clean, but like interests and skills... I dunno, I know most people here would instantly rationalize all of this with the its not the drugs its you thing... but seriously, for me its seems so pointless to do all those things when im in this beautiful high world, where sitting on my couch or playing video games or going for a walk is satisfying enough to make my day feel complete before i would smoke i would feel boredom, like actual boredom, that would lead me to do things, to try new things to learn new things... the thing is as much as I want to stop smoking, I dont want to stop, its like a battle against myself... it really is harmless if you can keep up with your life and progress as a person, but i dont know if im just lying to myself by thinking that i can do both, maybe im just not cut out for it... Do what you feel you gotta do man, I really hope you go far in this life and that all your dreams come true... dont let anyone or anything hold you back from what you know in your gut to be right...

 

Well he mentioned clonazepam.

 

Coke, than i learned how to easily cook it. Which is way better than street hard. It was mainly blow though for me. All's I can say is thank you to all of the positive energy from everyone. Couldn't help me more.

 

I had my bouts with the infamous Alprazolam also TNS. The withdrawals made me think I was schizo, so I went to a Pyshchiatric ward for 5 days and felt just fine after a couple, praising the marijuana god it was just an overdose of xanny in my system. My brother thought I would never be the same after I talked to him in the hospital before going to White Pines Ward. WHICH IS FUCKING HELL btw.

 

Yeah xanax can fuck up a person's life, with the quickness. I'm glad you're getting better man, because benzo withdrawals ain't no joke; they can even be fatal. I've never been addicted to xanax or any other psychoactive drug, surprisingly, but I've seen people get so strung out on xanax and other benzos that they couldn't function at all without them. It turns people into emotional wrecks and causes some crazy ass physical pain and can cause seizures too. It's good you quit while you were ahead.

 

*Quit with a head you mean. Right?