Drunken Stories

Can you think back to a time when you did something(s) you did dumb while drunk or a time you really embarrased yourself.

Also discuss high stories if you like

 

haha last night was canada day for me so me n a bunch of frends got hammered went downtown to watch fireworks then i hugged a shitload of random ass people an on the bus ride home the bus was packed and i was really smashed an i had a seat so i rolled a joint an smoked it on the bus with a frend then wen i was walking home from bus stop, I yelled HAPPY CANADA DAY!! to some dude an he was like hey come and drink some beers an smoke weed with me so i was like dammmm an i drank with him on the curb by a gas station and this guy actually gave me a g to smoke to myself wile he was drinking with me, n he said he had his own political party n if cops came n busted us for blazing he said his party would capture n torture him, this guy was pretty waky but it was awsome

 

ill just post pic so you know when im about to pass out

an i was done

 

Last week I got wasted with a few people, I don't remember anything except waking up at 5am in my boxers, in my bathtub, with the bathtub doors closed.

 

i got so drunk a last saturday i pissed on a hotel room table and i made a chick leave cause i was hitting on her so much. Thank god i dont remember that cause i feel like a big enough asshole as it is from just hearing about it.

 

^^^Ahahahaha, talk about funny ass shit.

 

That's the difference between pot and liquor, pot you get funny one liners most of the time, or a funny event, you can wind up with whole stories by the end of a long night of drinking though

 

My best story *so far* is
i went to a party, next thing i remember im waking up in a park in my boxers next to some random chick as the sprinklers go on. Other than that, i dont remember

 

Nate and Jake already know about this one, but it seems appropriate for the thread. For my uncle's 40th birthday party, we got a shitload of alcohol intended for excessive consumption over a short period of time. lol I remember starting off with a 40oz MGD, then moving onto drinking a few budweisers. Then someone passed me a bottle of Pepe Lopez tequila and told me to take a sip, so I chugged half the bottle. haha I continued drinking beer and tequila, then I remembered that my mom had a 1/2 gallon of Bacardi in her car, so I went ang got it. Then me and my cousin sat on the couch and passed the 1/2gal back and forth until we had drank about half of it, chasing it with beer. I suddenly was in the mood to call my cousin, because he was supposed to pick me up to go smoke, so I walked into his bedroom and turned the light on, which didn't even disturb the people who were sleeping in the room, then I picked up the fuckin STEREO REMOTE, thinking it was a cell phone, and I tried to dial my cousin's phone number on it, but all that happened was the stereo came on and woke a couple of people up. lol At some point throughout the night, I drank some vodka and some White Lightning and about half a bottle of wine and some Seagram's 7 and a 1/2 pint of Jack Daniels. Now here's the embarrassing, but funny, part of the story...........at some point through the night, I had to take a piss, but I was too drunk to walk to the bathroom, so my uncle had to drag me in there. I was also too drunk to stand in front of the toilet without falling over and I was even too drunk to unzip my pants and pull my dick out, so I just pissed in my pants while my uncle was propping me up in front of the toilet, then he tossed me in the bathtub and left. I just slept in the bathtub for a little while, apparently.

The next day, I woke up on the couch wearing different clothes than I remember wearing the night before, so I asked my aunt and uncle "Why am I wearing these clothes?" and they told me that I pissed in my pants, so they gave me a change of clothes. Oh well, at least I didn't puke any. haha

The next day, they told me I had drank 20+ beers, half a bottle of wine, and an ungodly amount of liquor. Thank god I didn't get alcohol poisoning and barely any hangover to speak of. haha My cousin's uncle actually passed out on the toilet while he was taking a shit, and he slept there most of the night. I was told that I was so drunk I couldn't even sit in a chair without sliding out of it. lol

 

^epic


the fall semester last year is one blur to me

if that says anything

 

passed out in a schoolyard at 3am with puke all around me.

 

^^^ haha good times

 

hahaha it says plenty dude.

 

Morning after eating a mushrooms chocolate and drinking a jug of wine to the point of blackout intoxication I wake up in the woods a mile from my friends house next to a river with just one sock and my boxers on and my clothing soaking wet right next to me.

 

one night especially, which, if i think back correctly, i believe it was the "starting" night, if i can use those terms, i say that b/c i believe it was the precipice of many wasted nights to follow

don't get me wrong, i go to college, i know how to party, and i like to party, but up until that point (at least, since the summer was over and my sophomore year was just starting) i hadn't done much partying at all (plus, at the time, there was much gf (now ex, thank god) drama to be dealt with, and actually, this night i believe was also only about a week maybe week and a half after i broke up with that bitch)

so i go just right down the road, literally, to my friends' apartment, and it's party time, in this small ass apartment, probably like 40 people, pure epicness

i decide, no, i agree to a few drinking stipulations with my friend who was, we'll call him, "the leader" of the three guys whose apartment it was (this being his apartment, along with 2 other guys who are also my friends) those stipulations were 1) that the beer i'm drinking cannot be in my dominant hand and 2) that i cannot ever NOT be drinking a beer

so after a few mishaps i'm pretty toasted but i'm catching on, walking around with my left hand, with open beer, up, and my right hand with the next beer ready, down by my hips

as soon as i finish the beer in my left hand, i pop open the right beer and start drinking, all while getting another beer out of the fridge

it's all hard to remember, but i vaguely remember at some point in the night i had this shit so finessed and down so well that i didn't even break the rules anymore (also, i think rules were added b/c of this and i remember having people "stock" me with beer, "hey man, can you grab that beer, yeah, that one, right there, and put it in my pocket, yeah, this pocket, thanks man, much appreciation.")

so, also, while i'm casually drinking my beers following my rules, i'm also out on the deck with this chick (and others) shotgunning beers. i was also trying (i'll stretch the use out of that word) to hit on her, but 1) my priority was not breaking the rules, so i was horribly unconcentrated. it was like, ever 6 or 7 minutes my brain would be like "yo, what about that chick?"

damn this is long

well, as the night winds down....shit, i'm just trying to wrap this up, but there's so much more to this story, but i'll just skip it

either way, by some point, i'm. fucking. wasted. blacking in and out, walking down the street like i'm in a fucking slalom race, just, not goodness. either way, my last memory is of me walking back, but only being halfway there. and that's the last thing i remember.

well, next day, i wake up 1) in my apartment (that i somehow managed to operate the keys for) 2) up my sketchy ass flight of stairs 3) in my floor 4) with my fan on (which had to be turned on with a pair of pliers, and i have no idea at all how i pulled this off) and facing my bed 5) covered in vomit.

i realize immediately (not at all immediately, but that's the word i just chose) that i must have made it home, turned the fan on, and laid down on the bed. i gather this b/c that's where the fan is pointed. also, b/c there's vomit on the bed. i also have come to realize that my body is naturally unJimiHendrixable/unJanisJoplinable, basically, when i vomit in my sleep, i either roll over to do it over the edge of the bed, or i sleepwalk away so i'm not going to die.

when i go to take a shower, i realize that's exactly what happened, i vomited while laying down, on my back. i know this b/c there was vomit behind my ears, and even on the back of my neck.

yes, that's gross, yes that's disgusting, and yes i had a hell of a fucking hangover.

but did i have a good fucking time? YOU BET YOUR ASS

fin.

 

Got wasted at a friends house, walked 5 miles across town to my brothers house, banged on his door at 4 in the morning and received a swift slap to the ballsack for it. AND he made me sleep in his truck. wouldnt even let me in the house.

 

^^ damn your brother owned your ass

 

ja. and he drives an old toyota truck! fuckin things tiny!

 

i would of been super pissed

 

yus i was. but then again i can understand his pissedoffness. but shiat he could have at least let me sleep in the basement.