A look at the ego

Enlightenment is a state that some have glimpsed, others have fully integrated, and most have only heard about. One thing I have learned is that I cannot MAKE myself enlightened, and it's not really something I can seek out because if it's not HERE and NOW then where or when could it be? Anything away from the here and now is an illusion. But even though I can't make myself enlightened, there is a certain willingness and readiness that I have observed within myself. And so awareness flows in as it will, as there is space for it.

So what is my part? It's not so much an active part... I'm not really doing anything. My part is the more passive, receptive one in the partnership... for it truly is a partnership. I simply watch for signs of ego. It seems that I've developed a very sensitively attuned ego-detector, both in myself and in others, but mostly in myself. As I have tasted true peace, I now know the difference and can spot disturbance almost instantly. Thoughts, emotions, reactions, defensiveness.... so many subtle and not-so-subtle movements which comprise the ego. It's quite fascinating, really.

The key is to allow it, as strange as it may sound. Our instinct is to crush the ego, to kill it, to subdue it, to silence it. But I've found that it only sends it into hiding, to emerge once again when it has gained in strength. So I observe it and give it space to be there. And without reaction, it simply wears itself out and dissipates on its own. There is no effort and there's nothing to strive for really. That's a fine line to walk sometimes as it's extremely easy to slip into the mode of trying to overcome the ego and then striving comes in. But on a closer look, striving is really resistance to NOW. So I accept the now, in whatever form it comes, which may or may not include ego reaction.

Interestingly enough... and this may seem as a paradox, the need to become enlightened is no longer there. Maybe at some level I recognize that it's not really my doing and if and when it happens it's not any sort of personal achievement or badge of honor, or anything I can claim on a personal level at all. At the same time, ego is not personal either... it's not a badge of dishonor, or some personal fault or short-coming. And so in a sense this feels like freedom... I can allow what is to be as it is.

I do sense a movement, a natural quickening towards what I can only describe as lightness and peace. But that too is something that seems to be happening naturally, on its own. I still sense desires. I still sense needs and attachments to things of the world. And that's OK. On some level I recognize that it's an illusion, but I won't lift a finger to kill it. Hahaha... to kill what? An illusion? What is there to do except to realize it as it is? I notice that realization has depth to it, and breadth. And it expands as there is space for it to expand, and it deepens as there is space for it to deepen. Sometimes it's not obvious how it does this. Sometimes I can look back and suddenly become aware that something which used to invoke a reaction no longer does this. And some things that I thought were "handled" long ago show a new face, a new level of ego that I didn't see before.

I feel a deepening understanding of forgiveness and humility, and a growing realization that peace is a choice I truly have now, almost always. And if not yet, then I can allow even that. It's like... where there is peace already, I embrace it. And where peace is not yet, I surround that disturbance with my peaceful acceptance of it. Either way, I find myself in peace.

 

You sound like you’re on the "right path". It will take years for most. It took Siddhartha Guatama nearly 20 years to achieve what some call "enlightenment". It took me roughly 7 years just to catch a glimpse. I’m working towards what you referred to as the integration.

I have found it to be more of an intrepid journey down an infinite "path" with several turnoffs instead of an excursion that "ends" in a perpetual apex.

It can’t be explained really. You just have to let go of worldly thinking. Forget about beginning and end , left and right , up and down , hot and cold , black and white , little and big , is and isn’t , plant and animal , life and death. You must realize that everything , every letter you speak , every letter that is heard , every drop of water and every photon of light has a story behind it that rivals even the greatest adventures ever fabricated and contrived by the human mind.

You must let go of trying to conquer the ego and focus on simply understanding it. Try to unlearn everything you have learned. Instead of assuming you are right , make your first reaction to assume that you are wrong. Forget notions that one comes before two and the axioms of wrong and right , good and bad. Realize that these things only live in human minds and don’t project out into the universe. Realize that , in the "big picture" we are but a micron in the entity that could possibly be infinity. Learn to question and question often. Analyze the context of every thought , gesture , sound , letter , word , sentence , feeling , and action. Learn to question even the most revered , respected , and dogmatic ideas , actions , and individuals.

Forget about divisive terms like ethnic and race , left and right , democrat and republican , northerner and southerner , blue collar and white collar , inner city and suburban , foreign and domestic …etc… Realize that everything in existence is truly connected. don’t worry about a potential paradox. Everything is based on opposites coexisting. Light and dark , male female , action and reaction. Without one , where is the other? Without a valley , what is a mountain ? Without dryness , what is moisture ?

You must realize that every denotation is simply an established connotation. Realize that "time" itself is merely a theoretical axoim.

Sorry if I sound to vague but it’s essentially impossible to explain. Just know that when the moment arises that you receive your first glimpse , you will never want to go back . It is truly a feeling of pure , untainted , almost augmented , bliss. Physically and mentally. That is all I can give you.

"I cant decisively say that I would or wouldn’t ‘do it over again’ because I don’t know what I may or may not have experienced had my essence started in a different place or time. Would I know more or less ? Is this existence and lifetime really the pinnacle ? All I want to know is what is beyond the great beyond , the so-called final frontier , so I can set my course and embark on my infinite journey . For it will endure longer then the very concepts and substance of space and time. And so will yours !"

Good luck.

 

I have found that there is no such thing as "forgetting" duality. Either it still shows up for you or it doesn't. Conceptually understanding non-duality is all well and good, but at some point we have to be honest enough with ourselves to recognize when it still becomes our frame of reference. And in the recognition we are free to some degree.

As far as understanding the ego, I find it's a waste of time, as is much of psychoanalysis. What is there to understand, except to recognize the difference between Ego and Peace. Understanding the ego is often nothing more than an attempt by that very ego to keep us immersed in thought and thus identified with it. Again, just in the recognition of it we are already free to some extent. It's as simple as Yes, It is There or No, It is Not There.

 

If that's the path you would like to take.....

Just understand that there is no definitive answer , no solid description , and no established method.

 

Here are some things I've observed of the ego, both in myself and in others:

*the need to set someone straight. lol
*the need to stand out in some way
*wanting to be heard, even if we don't really have anything valuable to say (the ego will be quick to tell you that you DO have something valuable to say)
*feeling offended because of someone's words or opinions
*difficulty in being perceived as "less than"
*claiming some achievement or higher awareness than what is truly the case, in order to feel "more than" others
*feeling fragile or being easily hurt
*the need for attention
*the need to be right
*the need to be a victim
*the need to argue and debate
*the need to appear "good"
*the need to be knowledgable
*the need to ask questions
*finding great importance in words, thoughts, opinions and beliefs
*taking life (and ourselves) seriously
*relating to others from a role (I am a "teacher", "leader", etc.)
*feeling annoyed or irritated
*feeling bored
*wanting (needing) something from others

 

Best definition of ego I've come across is that of Sri Aurobindo who defines it as 'the sense of a separative existence'.

One can't really go much beyond that I think.
It seems a pretty watertight definition.

 

real nice points there bluesafire

 

Yes I like that... that pretty much sums it up in a general way. What's really amazing is how pervasive it is. I watch my mind ALOT. lol! And I notice so many very subtle ways that the ego expresses itself. In fact, sometimes if it weren't for my ability to perceive a tiny current of negative energy, I'd miss it altogether. Sometimes on the surface it may look like it's not egoic at all. Like for example when we do something that others consider "good" or "charitable" or "helpful" then it's not egoic, right? Well not necessarily because if we're really honest underneath the outer act we often find things like resentment or the desire to appear a certain way in order to gain approval, etc.

Often I find that in close personal relationships we can see the ego in us most clearly because it's hard to hide it when we're with someone day in and day out. I thank God for my marriage! LOL! Even such things as getting our feelings hurt when someone says or does something... that's an egoic sense of "I'm so small and vulnerable and fragile... sniff sniff."

I like this thread cause there's so many examples of ego stuff we can share with each other, because sometimes it's hard to spot certain things if we're closely identified with them and so are blind to them.

 

How do you know when you're enlightened? 'm not sure I would want to be enlightened, though, because then there's nothing more -- no more mystery. So I hope you could never be 100% enlightened. Though perhaps there is a difference between being enlightened in the sense that you are at harmony with existence and in the sense that you possess esoteric knowledge.

I always thought of the ego as the selfish part of us. But isn't it selfish to want to destroy the ego and be at peace? So maybe the thing isn't to destroy the ego but to perfect it. ???

 

Getting beyond ego isn't easy. It exists on many levels in our being.
And it's alo my feeling that so long as we have these human bodies, we will never be entirely free from it on some level.

I think the body itself has what we can call ego. Even without our thinking about it, or feeling anything, it knows itself as a body separate from other bodies. I think this sense can be overcome, but only temporarily. The body's awareness of itself as a separate entity tends to impose itself on us in very compelling , even absolute terms. For reasons of biological survival, that has to be the case at our current level of evolution.
The only solution I can see would be if we could evolve a new kind of body consciousness.

The mind and life energies also have their own egos.
Possibly, there is even ego on higher levels, although probably it would get less as one ascended higher.

Anyway - I certainly think we can move beyond ego for a time, even if we have to come back to it. Getting free from it even for a time can make it less rigid. Slowly perhaps through an accumulation of experiences, the ego somehow gets transformed. The sense of separation may still be there, but things are seen in a very different way.
All genuine spiritual practices from many diverse cultures are really aimed at this - transcending the ego. Some say, and I wouldn't disagree, that in some people, psychedelic drugs can also carry the consciousness for a time beyond the normal limited ego range.

One further thing - there can be a tendency for the ego, esp. the mental ego to immediately try to grab at any trans-ego experience we have, and convert it into more of it's own currency so to speak. I've seen this in both myself and others at times. It is one of the big causes of spiritual arrogance etc.

Anyway - nice thread.

Shanti.

 

One indication is, can you stop the constant flow of mental noise and simply be still, or does the mind and emotions take control constantly?
Often it's easier to notice when you're NOT enlightened, otherwise you give enlightenment a definition, which it really can't encompass as it's beyond definitions. Notice your tendency to automatically react, to get lost in thinking, to take things personally, to make someone wrong, to make yourself wrong, to compare yourself to others where someone is then seen as "better than" or "less than" yourself, the tendency to make enemies, blame others, fault finding, criticism, etc. If you're free of those programmed responses then you're probably enlightened... or close to it.

That's a popular misconception. What is that if not just a thought about enlightenment? Is it a true thought? How can you be sure... it's just your perception. One way to question it is to read accounts of enlightened masters who have shared their experiences of deep peace and joy. In fact, I'd say just the opposite is true... enlightenment brings the biggest mystery and sense of wonder that there can be.

There is no mystery in an ego-based existence. Beneath all the outer forms of ego the structure is the same... a mind-made identification with a false sense of self, one that is small, separate, and constantly in need of defense. One thing the ego does is it likes to disguise itself as "your" voice, where you don't recognize the difference between it and yourself. So then the ego will say things to you like... "I don't think I'd like enlightenment because there's nothing more..". Of course the ego doesn't want your enlightenment, because it would mean it's demise. LOL!

However, in a sense it's right. Enlightenment doesn't mean you get MORE. The ego always wants more because it doesn't think there's enough already. That's why we spend years, decades, lifetimes always searching for that elusive sense of something more, instead of stopping to notice the fullness and depth of NOW.

Well knowledge often comes intuitively when we're connected to our Inner Self, but esoteric knowledge isn't necessary, although it satisfies the ego's need to think and strengthen itself through thought. When we're connected we always know what we need to know in the moment, on an as-you-need-to-know basis. There's a deeper knowing that is not thought-based, and yes it is a sense of one-ness with all of life and its many forms.

Being at peace not only brings joy to self but to everyone we touch. Ultimately we come to know that we are not separate from anyone else, so there is really no separate me and you, and what we express effects everyone. It's the ego that thinks in terms of separation, where to give to one means to take away from another. "Selfish" according to the ego's definition is always seen in terms of win/lose. And besides, there's no point in trying to destroy the ego. The ego is nothing but identification with a false sense of self. What is there to destroy? There is only the recognition of the truth, and that in itself will cause the ego to dissipate. To dispel darkness we need only to turn on the light.

Yes many people spend years trying to perfect the ego. That's another name for being psychologically adjusted, and what most modern counselors and psychotherapists are trying to do with their clients. At some point we come to recognize that the ego-based existence is ultimately insane and destructive, even if it appears to be the normal state of life on earth. Hell... look around at the "normal" state of life on earth. Does it seem sane to you? lol! Yes, at some point there's nothing to do but jump ship. haha!

 

I disagree. There have been accounts of enlightened masters on the planet... Jesus Christ and Buddha are examples, as is Eckhart Tolle who is a modern day enlightened master.

I disagree with this also. From one perspective it could be said that the body is merely a form representation of ourselves. But the sense of separation can only be attributed to the distortion of the mind. We look at what we think is "out there" and see "separation" and then say that the body sees this separation independently... which shows that already we are under the assumption that "we" and "the body" are separate.

One of the most helpful books I ever read is A Course In Miracles which talks quite a bit about the body/mind perception distortion. From a certain point of view it could be said that we created "bodies" in order to play out our inherent belief in separation.

If I understand you correctly, the absolute terms you're referring to are things like the need for food, water, air, maybe other biological drives like sex, etc. All these things are attributes of physical existence but that doesn't mean it's ego-based. Animals are a great example of this, as are plants. There is a physical urge to feed, to mate, to protect the form, and yet there is no neurosis attached. There is no obsessive mind identification. There is simply the natural urge. The animals don't make a problem out of it. They don't project illusions and delusions onto others or the world. They follow the flow and natural rhythms of physical existence. They are a good example of unconscious enlightenment, which is instinctual.

But humans are entering a new evolutionary stage, which is to bring conscious awareness to the level of physical existence, without identifying with it. Ego is simply identification with form, nothing else. Through centuries of identification with physical, mental and emotional forms we have forgotten our essence, which is life itself, which is beneath the outer form manifestation.

Until we are entirely free of it there will be a gradual reduction in the ego's intensity and energy vibration (except for the very few that awaken suddenly), the more we come to recognize the ego for what it is. And it is a transmutation of sorts. What once was trapped energy (ego) is now transformed into freed-up life energy, which can flow smoothly and powerfully. This is why so many people are constantly drained of energy... the ego requires so much of it in order to continue to operate.

I think certain drugs can give us a glimpse into a different state but evolution requires our natural ability to resonate there without an artificial (or other) aid. At some point we have to let go all props and crutches and fly on our own.

Yes I really agree with this, and it's a great example of an ego trap. From time to time I see people claim enlightenment because of some experience they once had. The ego can come in the back door and take over and use any experience to strengthen itself. Anybody can claim enlightenment, but the discerning ones among us can usually spot the fakers. There is a certain serene energy that emanates from the truly enlightened ones, and they never give cause for the bullshit detector to go off. lol!

 

As long as you inhabit a human body, the ego is the interface with the physical world. It cannot be avoided. It's a kind of stupid auto-pilot until you come to your senses. A pseudo you. It's most likely what's reading this right now.

However, the ego, because the mind is in a sleepy state, dominates. It's the child that wakes you up at the crack of dawn, and keeps you up long after the sun has set. It believes itself to be independent of others.

It CRAVES physical sensation. All 5 senses at once, if it can get it.

God awareness comes from having the ability to detach from this awareness, and become a distant witness to it as well. The ego becomes a humble servant at this point.

"Reality" is very much like your soul playing with hand shadows upon the wall.

It really is.



x

 

Well this is not the case according to enlightened masters. Nor does it ring true to my own intuition, so I have to disagree with you.

 

Truth is always individual at the human level.

It's only when you ascend away from that identity, that the idea of a common mind, a "godhead" does indeed exist. Your individual self is given a wider horizon than is possible with the human self alone.

Your soul is much like a bee that sips nectare from this godhead, then continues on it's own journey. Moments of intuition, or compassion, or revelation, occur during this feeding.

A perfected soul is connected to this fulltime, but still uses the ego, as the speakpiece to the outside world. The ego is putty in the hands of a superior awareness.

It takes the shape of whatever is needed to convey the message.

You've heard the rumours that Jesus appeared as a child to some? Because his ego was being shaped by a master.

A very efficient tool in the hands of someone who knows how to use it.

Should someone other than a master wield this sword, they can lay waste to the world.



x

 

I think we're defining the ego in different ways here. It's becoming one of those words that means different things to different people and so it's often difficult to discuss it. My intention for this thread is to focus on making conscious what has been unconscious and which is causing us and others to suffer.

 

I don't think it's possible to be totally free from the ego whilst in our human bodies. Like xexon says, one can take control of the ego, and use it as a convenient tool, but one cannot hope to destroy it completely for fear of strengthening it.

Lovely posts blue

 

What we are referring to typically as the ego, is the parasitic entity that latches itself onto our consciousness and feeds off of our existance. Every action and thought performed to satisfy the whims of the ego have at their origin an essence of fear. The only thing that I feel one can do in order to be liberated from the ego, is to instantly, immediatley, and without trying to reason for it, rid oneself of fear. If you dont have fear, what do you have? Everything and it's lovely lol.
The lower mind exists in order to constantly validate and substantiate it's own existance. When you no longer have the fear of the delusional need to satisfy your senses, you are free. And how does that make you any different from any 'enlightened master'? Esoteric knowledge means nothing, everyone who looks at the Sunrise and watches the stars at night from the heart rather than with the eyes get's the same profound sensations. No need to be a master of language when we can expound our awareness.
God Bless -

 

Yes, this more closely resembles the definition of ego which I am using. From what I have seen previously posted in this thread there are two loose definitions of ego. (1) The fear-based, false sense of self that is dominating our awareness and controlling our minds and behavior, and (2) the form-identity which necessitates physical existence but which may or may not be dysfunctional.

The existence of the former is not paramount to physical embodiment and, in fact, threatens it. The existence of the latter, as long as it is functional and under the guidance of Spirit, will continue for the duration of physical existence. Having a form identity in and of itself is not egoic, from the standpoint of definition #1. We can still be men, women, mothers, fathers, employees, teachers, preachers, leaders, and business people. Those are all form identities but the key is... are WE identified with those forms? Are WE so completely engrossed in the dream of form that we have forgotten our Essence, forgotten the stillness that lies beneath the form, the peace of pure Being? When we don't know ourselves, our TRUE selves, then all we know is form. And from that viewpoint we feel small, separate, in need of constant defense, threatened by the very nature of finite existence.

Yet when our awareness is rooted in Being then the play of form becomes light and not all-consuming or ultimately that important. We become detached from the need to cling to any particular form, because we recognize the truth about forms and about ourselves.

Have you ever actually tried to rid yourself of fear? There you are walking along and suddenly you become aware of fear. Hmmmm... now what do you do? How do you get rid of it? How do you destroy fear? Yes, you can stuff it in and repress it. You can also deny it (I shouldn't have fear, it's not "spiritual", therefore I'll pretend it's not there). You can repeat positive affirmations "I am free of fear, I am free of fear, I am free of fear." You can also shut your eyes tight and strain your brain with willpower... "BE GONE, FEAR!!"

From my personal experience I have found that you can't destroy fear. But you can simply recognize when it is present and ALLOW it to BE there, as it is. By allowing it we become non-resistant. And the very space we give it serves as a portal into space-consciousness, which is peace, which is presence. Fear cannot survive in a state of non-resistance and presence. In a way you could say that by trying to destroy or get rid of something we give it meaning and importance. Instead we could recognize its ultimate insignificance and lack of power over our higher awareness. Ok.. so fear is there, so what? Is it the truth of You? No. Can you instead recognize THAT within you which is AWARE of the fear? In order for fear to be there, there is something that must be aware of its presence. What is that, that is aware of its presence? What is that, that is aware of anything? THAT AWARENESS IS WHO WE ARE.

Yes, to simply observe without labeling and definining, without analysis and critique... to simply BE there as the witnessing presence... that is Oneness. That is enlightenment.

 

Well the way I see it, is that there is no trying to rid oneself of fear. There is the inital stage in evolving to the state of not having fear arise, and this is the awareness of it. Simply being aware that it is happening, without forming opinions on it and mentally telling yourself "Fear is bad, I should get rid of it" but rather just observing the situtation, this is the initial stage.
But there is another where there is simply no such thing as fear anymore that I believe we can all attain. The only problem is that there is no method. There is no actual 'thing' or 'process' to do. It just exists as it is, a state of being that involves simply being and does not involve the feeling of fear arising. I think, we can only have fear so long as we are attached to life. But if we can realize that life and death are the same thing and go on constantly within and without us, and truly realize that in actualization not just theory or in written poems and books, then fear will simply cease to be for us. Though I have not been able to remain entirely in that state because of thought and my own attachments to worldly things, I have glimpsed it and it seems to be becoming more of my reality in observation the older and more experienced I get. One would think that would make it more difficult since you see children, well really infants, that seem to have no fear because of not learning what to be afraid of. But I dont know, it seems to be getting more simple the more I go on. :tongue:

A room full of mirrors
God Bless -