Started having sex when I was 14...

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by JackSafari, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. JackSafari

    JackSafari Member

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    I first had sex when I was barely 14 and I admit I knew very little about sex at the time, all I knew was that I wanted to have sex. This in itself really isn’t a big deal, what I still feel guilty about was I had sex with my 11 year old cousin who was living with us for a short time. She had a huge crush on me and less than a month when after she came to live with us we were having kissing make out sessions. I took advantage of her crush on me and talked her into start having sex before the end of the summer. Deep down I know she only agreed to have sex because she wanted to make me happy, not because she was completely ready herself.

    That happened over 12+ years ago. I’ve always felt guilty about taking advantage of her like that. She loved me and having sex was her way of proving to me she was willing to do anything I asked of her. Before, and since, she always been a very nice girl, kind of quite actually. Not the type you would ever guess starting have sex at 11. No girl should be asked to give up her innocence before she is ready.

    I am very very sorry that I did this even if she doesn't have any significant regrets.:(
     
  2. hotwater

    hotwater Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    A very similar thing happened to me when I was 18 and visiting relatives in Rhode Island. A friend of the family, a 15 year old girl was staying at the house for a few weeks, and from the moment I arrived she was constantly eying me.

    I did what I could to avoid her but her provocative clothing eventually proved too much, so when I got home from playing basketball one afternoon, she was waiting in my room wearing a short skirt, a halter top, and no panties.

    While every core of my being knows she was ready to have sex (and believe me she was, and it was incredible) I still feel a bit guilty even today :(


    Hotwater
     
  3. mindy123

    mindy123 Guest

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    not to make you feel worse but did you ever think she is so quiet because of the trauma of not being ready for sex at the age of 11
     
  4. darthkacie

    darthkacie crazy diamond

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    he probably did think of it
    since he said at the end that "no girl should be asked to give up her innocence before she is ready."
     
  5. JackSafari

    JackSafari Member

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    In recent months I got up the nerve to contact my cousin through email just to say hi. We have not talked to each other in several years and have never talked about having sex together since the time she lived with us. She assured me she's happy and leading a well adjusted life.

    It was good for me exchange emails with her and let her know I felt bad about having sex with her at such a young age. I think it was also good for her to talk about it. I was afraid she was going to tell me how screwed up her life was because of what happened. I was very very very relieved to hear she was leading a normal life. She did let me know that having sex was very overwhelming for her in the beginning and she was too young to be having sex. At 11 she was just starting to comes to terms with puberty and having sex only made things more confusing for her. Initially she thought my motivation was to get her pregnant. That idea both appealed to her and frightened her; in her mind why else would I want to have sex and so frequently. She wasn't mature enough yet to become pregnant, but I admit when we were having sex it never occur to me if she could or couldn't get pregnant. I was just focused on having sex with her whenever the opportunity arrose.
     
  6. Oneness

    Oneness Dead

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    Why would this be your only 2 posts. Sign up so you can talk about this.

    Youre some old creepy dude jacking off.
     
  7. JackSafari

    JackSafari Member

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    When I was in college that was the first time I had ever encountered heterosexual women who chose to be lesbian relationships because they found it impossible to be in a heterosexual relationship with men. As girls these women had been sexually abused by their fathers, or their brothers and their friends, or other "nice" men they trusted. As adult women (18-25) they had very deep seeded resentment and distrust toward men in general. And for a short time I dated a girl in college who had been raped before we met and I didn't know it until after we stopped dating. She was very messed up and I had no idea why she'd flip out over nothing and had no interest in sex. After we stopped dating a friend of hers revealed to me that she had been date raped a few years earlier.
     
  8. honeyfugle

    honeyfugle pumpkin

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    this is terrible.

    at 14 you arent ready for sex regardless.

    and at 11, you are supposed to be a child. you took advantage of this little girl and took away her innocence. she was a kid, she should have just been running around outside playing with toys with her friends, not in bed with you. no way.
    what you did will cause her all kinda of scars and trauma.

    i repeat, this is terrible.
     
  9. JackSafari

    JackSafari Member

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    I did take advantage of the situation to have sex. At the time she was curious about sex, but there is a difference between being curious about sex and being ready to have sex. At 14, I really didn't understand that. In general people progress through a few different stages (over several years) before they are ready for sex, first stage being puberty.

    In this case, there isn't any significant trauma/scars, but there easily could have been. We were playing with fire and were clueless that a lot things could have gone wrong. I've met girls in college who were very messed up as result of finding themselves engaging in sex before they were ready and/or having sex forced upon them. The girl I had sex with wasn't fully ready and had conflicting positive/negative emotions about having sex, but overall it didn't turn out as bad it could have.
     
  10. Zorba The Grape

    Zorba The Grape Gavagai?

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    Yeah, that's essentially what he said in the first place. I love it when someone posts a confession they're genuinely sorry about, and people reply by telling them how sick and horrible what they did was. I guess it has to do with keeping up appearances. You couldn't let a story like that slide without acting holier-than-thou, no matter in what context it was told?

    Sorry, but I see this all the time and it really gets to me.
     

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