Weak Women....

....

 

I'm not a weak woman either. If a guy treated me like that I'd beat his arse! Maybe not literally, but I'd certainly tell him where to jump! What you posted about this woman reminds me of a friend of mine.


I love my friend to bits (well, maybe not right now) but she doesn't have her priorities right. Every man she's been out with, she's let walk all over her, use her and in one case almost give her a break down. She lets sooo called friends walk all over her too and boss her around. Yet when it comes to me, the longest friend she's ever known, she puts ME at the bottom of her list of priorities.

For instance I'll suggest going out somewhere and she'll come up with some lame excuse as if she's waiting for a better offer or say something like "ok, but only for an hour." She's been very busy working lately so I understand not hearing from her as much, but she didn't call me or text for a month, yet she lives next door to me. When she did finally call (it was her turn as I'd rung her twice before), she said she was busy and has been too tired to go out in recent weeks. Yet I know she's been out a few times every week, cos I hear her car. Oh... and another thing, she never listens when I try to give her good advice. Had she opened her ears a little, she wouldn't have had half the problems she's had. Sometimes I'm wondering if she actually thrives on all the drama in her life.

Anyway, I'm starting to loose interest and I'm just letting her come to me. If she doesn't ring, then that's the end of our friendship.

 

i like takin care of pple (of lovahs mostly yea), so yea, im probably weak like that, but if im happy with it, how is that wrong ?anyways i get your point...
and about the fact that weak women dont listen to u, yeaaa, ive been there, and its hard to turn your back on your man when friends tell u he's using u.. love is blind ya kno

 

Hi Crayola,

I see your a fellow Aries girl too!

 

Some women like to take care of people and like to be treated like shit. It's not really about being weak. They just like that role. Some of them don't even realize it, because some of them like that role because they live to victimize themselves. But even people who love to victimize themselves aren't necsessarily weak.

 

Yeah, I think some people (men or women) really do like to look after others and give a lot. There is nothing wrong with that, but like with most things one needs to draw the line somewhere. And if someone wants to give atleast do so to the right people and not these assholes who are gonna through it back in their face.

 

I cook and clean, I don't think I am a week woman. My husband has given me the luxuary of staying home with my kids. But I do it cause it's my job, if I worked, I would not be doing it all. I enjoy taking care of my children, my husband is a grown man and can take care of him self. yes I cook, and clean for him, but I sure don't wait on him hand and foot. My mother is like that, and I watched it growing up, and swore that I would never be like that. My mother could be in the middle of doing 4 differnet things, and my father will be sitting in the living room 10 feet away from the frig, and he will tell her to get him something to drink.... I think that is horrilbe

 

I think you kinda missed my point. Women who do that like to have it thrown back in their face. They like how the assholes treat them.

 

How can anyone like to have it thrown back in their face? They cannot be human with emotions, unless they don't realise it's happening to them!

 

Yeah that "mrs eads80". I totally agree, as a stay-at-home mother myself. I admit that I tend to spoil my husband, but he always thanks me, and he treats me wonderfully.

I have to disagree with the comment from "Je m'ai" however. My mother, whom is divorced and getting remarried in 2 weeks, has had a history of getting involved with men who treat her like crap. She is the type of person who feels the urge to take care of people (maybe that's why she's a nurse) and would tend to be attracted to the men with "problems" as she wanted to be the one to "change them" and "make them better". Yes, this did back-fire in her face all too many times, yet she was not one actually wanting to be treated like crap. She had suffered emotional, physical, and verbal abuse most of her life and her self-esteem was nil, so she simply put up with being treated badly, as she felt she didn't derseve any better. Did she LIKE being treated the way she was? No, I saw her tears of pain more often than not, but she felt she couldn't do any better, and that is why she would stay. She just thought too little of herself. Perhaps subconsciously she really did like being treated that way, as a form of self-punishment, but I'm almost positive she was unaware of it.



Peace.

 

Have you ever heard of slave/master relationships? Usually it's just a kinky sex thing people do, but some people actually participate in slave/master relationships and marriages. Some people like to be slaves...I don't know why, because I don't want to be a slave. But for some people, it does something for them.

As for what someone else said about seeing their mother's tears of pain, so on and so on (I'm sorry, I don't want to go back to the previous page to look and erase all this), you have to remember that we all CHOOSE our paths in life. You CHOOSE to be a battered woman whether you realize you're making the descion or not. Just like everytime you get angry, you are choosing to be angry. Lots of people in this life like to victimize themselves. They don't feel "right" or happy unless they are the victim in some kind of way. I'm not saying your mother was this way, and I'm not saying that every woman who is subservient and nurturing is this way, I just wanted to bring up the fact that some women like to be treated that way, whether it be because they want to be a slave, they want to be a victim, or some other reason. They cry because they WANT to cry. (again, I'm not saying this applies to your mother, I don't know her, I'm not saying it applies to every situation of this type, either.) I'm not explaining myself very well, so I'm going to just stop, but my point was that we all choose are paths and roles in lives (most people don't realize this.)

 

That is the biggest heap of shit I have read it a LONG time. You don't know much about battered womyn.

 

HippyChick, I have a friend who's been through very similar to what your Mum went through and I myself can relate to some of it from my own experiences in life. It's so true about the submissive person trying to change the nasty person by going back for more and feeling like they don't deserve better. You've hit the nail on the head!

 

Je m'ai, I agree with the slave/master relationships as a sexual thing and people who like being with a partner, who's stronger more dominant, but I personally have never met anyone who enjoys being treated badly unless it's role-play! LOL

 

No way man, when I'm gonna marry a guy, I'll first make sure that we'll alternate the cleaning/cooking/child care (or maybe even have him do all the work). It just feels more balanced, and right. I can't stand old fashioned gender rolls...

 

I gotta admit, I'm a pretty weak person when it comes to relationships. I don't know why, because I'm not weak when it comes to other people. I know I shouldn't, but everytime I stick up for myself I usually end up letting my man (in all my relationships) convince me that I'm wrong, or being a bitch, or something. I stay at home alone with the kids, I get them to school in the morning usually with no help unless I'm sick, and it's extremely rare that I get a foot rub

I can't bring myself to end these relationships because I don't like being the bad guy. And whenever I bring it up, i usually get the "i can't believe that's ALL it takes for you to kick me out" line. I try everything I can to make it work out, and all I get is shit talk and put downs in return.

If someone else was in my situation, I know the first words out of my mouth would be -you need to leave that guy.- ha, it's kinda funny how so many of us are good at giving out good advise, but yet we can't seem to take it. I'm so tired of being run over and neglected, I KNOW it would be in my best interest to leave and never look back, but it's sooo hard. It's like I keep waiting on that day to come when my words and tears finally get through to him, and a magical little light will go off in his head and he'll suddenly realize how horrible he's been treating me and that I deserve better. It's hard to just give up on a relationship after putting so much work into it.....I wish emotions were something you could just turn off, because all they do is get in the way of logic and common sense.

 

I have.
I don't know a lot about battered women, but I know a lot about people, and you choose your path in life.
Some people make their lives about being a victim.
Maybe if you looked into psychology you'd get what I'm talking about.

 

It isn't a conscious choice, but it's a choice.

 

Rather,just accept that other people's opinions are different from yours...

 

I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion. I'm just trying to get people to think about things on a deeper level. I hate arguing too much to try to change someone's opinion. I just felt misunderstood and was trying to explain myself more clearly.