Need some advice from writers!!

Hey guys,
So I don't know if this is in the right area, and I apologize if it isn't. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting engaged soon and we are in love and happy and have many things going for us. We are both very optimistic, but i have a problem. We want to live in a simple environment, and I don't think we will need as much money as a lot of people do, we don't have or want a car, a hot tub or marble floors in our home. But I do think that we will need a sufficient amount of money to start our home, especially since being environmentally friendly (such as alternative power sources, buss passes, gardening equipment) does cost a bit to start out.
He wants to be a writer. His heart has been set on it since he started writing, and it is what would make him happy. He has no desires to get a "career" and make a sufficient amount of money until he can settle down and write and we can live off that money. I have a job too, it is not what i want to make a career out of, but it brings in enough money if he gets a job too.
I don't want to tell him he needs to get a job because his writing career may not take off and may not bring in enough money for us to live the way we want to. Am I being selfish by crushing his dreams and wanting a stable income, or is it realistic? Thanks guys, I really need help on this one.

 

Sitting around "writing" while you wait for your artwork to pay off is foolish. Writing the material is only part of the whole package for getting your writing into a market. To get a work you believe in off the ground you should be willing to work in fast food if need be to keep your situation solvent and to keep the bills paid. Very few publishers want to deal with any writer who doesn't at least have his basic act together. So using "his writing" as an excuse to remain unemployed is a totaal cop out. Plenty of artists, performers and writers have had to endure years and years of crappy jobs and stupid bosses just to get into a position to make a pitch for their craft. Tell this bum that having a job and sharing some responsibilities for life are likely to be VERY inspiring in the long run.

I always wanted to do creative stuff that would make me enough money so it would support my being able to create. What a DREAM that would be, but it's not reality for most of us. Consider the millions of kids out there who want to be pro baseball players. There are less than 900 positions for all those millions to fill. Some goals are fine, but realistic goals should take a priority. His "writing career" will have a MUCH better chance of happening if he gets the rest of his act together. And BOTH of you should consider a fallback career, some marketable skill you can always rely on when your dream occupation hits a snag. Always seek your dreams, but be ready to be wrong about them. Sometimes you outgrow them, or you actually live them and realize you need more!

Either way you cut it, NOT working is the earmark of a bum, not an artist.

Charles

PS: I make a GREAT living writing, but I don't make a dime from the writing I LOVE doing. Instead I make money writing boring ass corporate reports for dweebs. Ask him how much art he can make with $30-$50 an hour coming in the door from a REAL career.

 

He needs to get a job like everyone else. Writing is a job when writing earns enough money to pay the bill, and not before.

 

I agree with the prior comments. Sounds like he doesn't have a skill set that is marketable... but I will try to give you some positive options: he should check out any nearby University or Colleges for any type of job he may qualify for. It could get him a discount on tuition and/or access to writing courses, visiting literary speakers, etc., for little to no money. Try to think outside the box, brainstorm... could he work at a local library and thereby have access to materials that will support his true love of writing, a bookstore that brings in writers to flaunt their books... etc. Good luck! Vetty

 

Wow... if you're unsure about whether or not you should give this guy a free ride, then I can definitely see why he likes you.

Most people in the world don't want to give free rides to other people, no matter how in love they are... and if this guy was worth your time, he wouldn't feel right accepting one either.

 

Just wanted to add... most writers need to experience the real world before they can write... and if you have no money and no job, you're not going to be able to do very much and you're probably not going to have many friends either... that's just the way it works. So with no money, no job, no friends and no means to do anything, how are you going to be able to write about anything?? You can't just write from what you've read... you need to get out and find out about things as well.

I suppose I'm pretty lucky to have a decent-paying job where I get lots of time off to do stuff, travel and get inspired... but without that, I'd just be stagnating.

 

He does have a part time job, but he doesn't really have a fallback plan. He wants to go to university and take English and writing classes, but I want to know what else he would do with his life if he couldn't make money writing. I feel bad telling him that he has to have a plan B, because I feel like I don't show him support in his writing, but I was brought up to beleive that if you need money you get a job, no matter how shitty it is, because everyone starts at the bottoms doing something they hate before they can do something they love.

 

Wanting to write fiction for a living is a very high risk gamble. It is only sensible to at least suggest he also train in technical writing or some other trade. Also, if he wants to write for money he can start now. I work full time and also make $400 a month from writing in my spare time. The internet provides many such opportunities and if he is seeing his writing as a trade he can start findign them right away. hint: articles, paid forum posting, monetized blogging, ebooks.

 

A greater thinker than I (Nieitzsche, I think) once said:
All Great art comes from suffering.

Experience first, write about it second...
But not always. Depends what he's writing.

On the other hand, one thing I am sure of is that old age begins the day one gives up on one's dreams.

 

Great art typically doesn't pay the bills, IMHO.

 

Q: What sort of questions does a mechanical engineering graduate ask on the job?
A: He wants to know if the force vectors on his structure produce static equilibrium.
Q: What sort of questions does an English graduate ask on the job?
A: Do you want fries with that?

 

lmfao, hahaaa.
i'm going to take it one day at a time.
maybe he'll get an idea for a fallback plan someday.
thanks for the great advice, wisdom and laughs!! you guys are awesome

 

He needs a job. Try getting a job in writing. Although newspaper isn't my end goal, it's a good steady gig that can barely pay the bills, but it keeps me producing all the time. Check out some smaller publications in the area where you live. News writing is like writers bootcamp, and it really gets you out there with the folk who might some day be the very people you hope to sale your book to.

 

I work and write.

It's not that hard if you're not lazy.
My first book is coming out this year, and I'm seeing some more attention on the articles and plays.

Hopefully in maybe 5 years time I'll be making just enough to quit the day-job and live off the writing.

A dream is a great thing, and working, is part of that dream, because it allows me to support myself while I pursue it.

I wouldn't expect someone else to sacrifice themselves so that I could pursue my goals.

I knew writing didn't pay well when I started, that was the path I chose.

I think the trick is getting jobs, rather than careers. A career requires the whole of someone, a job is just work, and it stays in the workplace at the end of the day.

Writing is my career,
Factory work is my job.

 

Wise Words...

 

I make a pretty decent living writing about factory work!

CF

 

So here's the update He is in university now, taking English and Human Rights, he's loving it and working his ass off and getting really good grades. He's working in a restaurant as well, again, working his ass off. We have the income to make things work now, and he is doing so well. Also he's considering learning about writing stuff that's not his choice, such as articles and reviews, and I couldn't be prouder of him. Thank you all for your advice. It really helped me talk to him without being an accusing scary bitch. Peace and bare feet <3

 

That's an option too.

Personally I prefer working with my body in terms of the day-job, because it leaves my mind free to wander.

doing brain-work for corporates leaves me mentally exhausted, I prefer to simply be physically exhausted.

 

Earthchild:
Good luck to you and your boyfriend (husband?).
I had some false starts. I studied math, which lead precisely nowhere, except for a draft deferment. Later I studied computer science, which led to a fifteen year career in data processing. Due to circumstances, some of them within my control, I lost that career. In general, you have to look at marketable skills when you go to school, unless you've got a pretty hefty inheritance to draw on.
I used to hate wearing a suit to work, but when you're on the end of a shovel, suits don't look so bad any more.