reader beware: it's a little lengthy. i lay in wait, stiff beneath the sheets. my heart is steady still for the moment, waiting on guests to fill those seats, but it quickens on all those invading beats. i haven't heard the voices in a long time but the walls still cry out for mercy. i haven't had to worry about smoke or mirrors; and to my walls, i've been the only listener. the windows play tricks gathering my gaze at a transfix. the floors need a transfusion if only we could keep up this illusion. i'm quite comfortable in this coma i've been living in, sometimes i think i might know when to say when. the lights flicker sending signals to me to pour out some liquor. thanks for the reminder no need to go any further, the cabinet or the coffee grinder? my phone thinks it's funny; calling your number at night, costing me money. i keep trying to leave notes but the phone knows me so well it quotes. i won't worry, the plugin might settle it all. my ceiling fan enjoys flowing even when the room's below freezing. the light switch is in on it too but it's two against one, so what am i gonna do? my television plays videos backwards hoping to convince me that instead i should play cards. even my radio needs my touch to continue on in the clutch; my bad, i guess i might've created a crutch. my bed creaks in all the wrong places, though it's really good about giving me advice to cover all the bases. my towels might still bear the imprint of your face but i dry them outside just in case. i really don't know why you came to visit, why you'd come looking. i think i might've answered the door while i was cooking, i really just don't remember much. i keep asking myself why you didn't just stay in town. stayed wandering in your prayers and looking through pawn shops, made a million other stops before you hit mine, maybe you'd just skip me after all. dancing to your invisible acoustics, the tape you'd mix. you could spend all day looking through antiques, you told me once that you could spend weeks. shining in the streetlight sun back to the door, from there you'd never run. charming all teaching them all just the way to fall. until the dark spirits you away and wait impatiently for another day. you keep showing up on my doorstep in all my dreams standing stark under those dark wooden beams. i was convincing two nightmares ago, but i have accept that you're here. you've got my appliances all abuzz, and my furniture is swearing, "why didn't you clean us?" i just whisper, "i thought i could hide here forever, i never thought i'd be followed." my right hand does the showing around, all my left one wants to do is stare at the ground. small talk maneuvers itself out of my mouth and into your ears. i can't keep you entertained for long but maybe i can convince you the timing's all wrong. you already asked a question but before i can open my mouth you're quick to say, "wait, i'm not done talking." you say you're free every hour, so i can get to explaining why i did some walking. i'm not too sure what's going to come barreling out, you're too smart for any lie i might try. you made it clear, things were perfect. how could i compete with that? one wrong move and i'd be laid out flat. but before i know it, your hands are on my head. you're whispering again, eyelash to eyelash, "silly, all i ever wanted was you; i just needed you to give me a reason." silly me.
