This is hard for me to write....and I know it's nothing compared to the real problems out there.....but to me it is. On the surface I'm incredibly lucky. I'm smart, have a great core of family and friends, and when I'm at my best I have an incredible charisma. I just turned 25 and started grad school at about the same time. This caused me to move to a different city, something I haven't done in my life. I'm usually able to easily make friends and adapt, but I'm seriously struggling with it. It's like I've been in this depressed state ever since I've been here and haven't been able to be my true self. I started drinking much more and spending a lot more time by myself. I just feel like I should be in a better spot at this stage of my life. I don't know what causes it but I get in these states every once in a while. I know that I'm better than this and it kills me to admit defeat but it just sucks not being able to live the way I know I should be. And again, I realize this is a petty problem compared to everything else, I just feel like I needed to tell it to someone.
Maybe you can't be your "true self" because you had to leave behind everything you associate with who you have been; your house, your family, your friends, that place you go every morning to get coffee, or even the smells. Moving from everything you're used to is a huge drag, it's nice to have at least some things going from before. Maybe you don't have many friends over there right now, but how about "calling Mom" every sunday for a taste of home? I don't mean to sound bullshitty, because it isn't this simple, but I'll say it anyway. Meet some new friends, man. I mean, it takes a more uplifted state of mind to work up the confidence or energy to try to get some new relationships started, but to have them going would be nice, wouldn't it? Look for people who remind you of who you really are, not just the people who are accessable; when and if you find them, home won't be so far away. Don't fall into some hole like alcohol; you're still the cool fucking guy you were back home, it's just that the new people you know don't know that guy yet
I agree with lanslide, it'll only get better if you hang out with them more often to help them get to know you. Its like when youre at a party and you don't really know everyone there. So you hang outside mostly smoking, but then you could always just greet some people sitting in a group say who you are and just sit and listen to them talk. Then when you feel you get a grasp of what they're talking about you acan always join in on it. Life's a party.....remember that!
