are soo gayyy. they feel i'm not respecting there wishes by having dreadlocks. but what about my wishes? my dad hates how they look and everything about them. my mom doesnt like them, but i dont think she cares that i have them since its my hair. they keep telling me dreads portray an un-kept hairstyle. i understand their perspective, but they dont understand i really dont give a shit what people think of me. anybody that only knows me long enough to judge me on my appearance, doesn't know a thing about me. i am a respectful person, i wear clean clothes, i am an over all clean and tidy person. except my hair, according to them. they arent going to make me cut them per say, but i will never hear the end of the complaints and jokes (jokes havn't came quite yet). last thing my dad said was "lets see what happens next time you wish something from me." so i just said ok. i'd rather be able to support myself anyway. what did you do to get your parents to understand? i know there have been threads similar to this, but none of them went on for very long.
tell them to fuck off. Honestly my parents couldn't give a toss, but that would be my response. I've got a bigger beard than santa and that pisses my mom off no end but at the end of the day I'm too old to be told, tell them to go fuck themselves.
That is how my parents feel, only opposite sorta. My dad is cool with it, but my mom can only say "No, don't do it. Dirty." I'm going through this struggle too. How do you get people to accept your decision? How can you convince your mom/dad/sister/girlfriend/relatives that dreadlocks aren't bad/dirty/drug-related/ugly? It's hard for me. But, with all of the worthwhile things I've done, I've just done them without taking other people's opinions in mind. I wanted an earring, so I got it. And it has worked out. Dreadlocks might work out too - it'll just take a year. Go for it. The people who really love you will still love you.
yeah. they are just going to have to deal with it. ill just try to keep them looking neat, just so i dont have to hear their shit. is there anything ellse besides aloe that can be used for frizz control and what not?
You and me both brother. My family is giving me the cold shoulder as well. Both parents were pretty unhappy about the decision. I told them about all the false stereotypes that are surrounding dreadlocks. That I can keep them clean and whatnot. I try to reason with them, my dad understands that its my decision which is cool, but he still doesn't condone it. My mom doesn't take into regard at all that I am my own separate entity from her and whenever she doesn't get what she wants that spells trouble for me. Like you, I see their reasoning and understand their concerns, yet they still treat me as a child (im 20) who cannot make smart, well informed decisions. It's happened to me in other topics of my lifestyle recently and I have come to the conclusion I will slowly stop reasoning with them and just not inform them of what I will be doing and just go ahead and do it because I will hear nothing but negative comments that are both sarcastic and for lack of better word- stupid.
right there with you. except i cannot use the reason of being legally out of their control, ive got a year and a half for that. good luck, lemme know if you have a break through with them.
yeah for sure. what do you guys do when you need to keep your dreads looking neat for an occassion, or just for normal day to day wear. i've just been putting mine back with a band or my glasses, unless im down by the beach or something.
ok im 41 so yad think my partents wouldnt give a shit what i did but still the 1st 15 years dreadin i never had 1 conversation with my mom thgat didnt involve cuttin my hair ya know though the funny thing was what finaly got her to stop was going to the mall with her and having a group of blue haired old ladies come up to me and gush about how beautiful my hair was and want to touch it and all..lol the thing with parents is this they believe you reflect on theyre parenting skills peaircings tats and dreads in theyre eyes spell bad parenting, your an embarrassment to them they feel everyones looking at you shaking theyre heads thingking what bad parents you must have had to turn out that way.. ofcourse that illusion is dispensed pretty quickly when you get alotta very vocal public compliments dont worry they'll get over it when they start seeing more normal peoplein suites and ties reacting possitively with compliments and envy but it takes tikme..for awhile they may not want to go places in public with you, they may refuse to see the possitive way people look at ya... they may even ignore it untill its someone they respect alot..
Soaringeagle is right. There are parents who feel their children's personal choices and tastes are foreign and a blatant rejection of all their childraising skills and parenting. This from my mother at one point (about several issues - freebirth, having a ring, not a stud in my labret, homeschooling, natural health, tattoos) "Did I do such a terrible job of raising you that you feel you have to shun everything I believed in?" Some parents take it personally, and on some level believe that their children are trying to upset them, oppose them, and challenge their "authority" as parents. It is a sign of emotional immaturity, seeing that what their children do has something to do with THEM in some way. Maybe you can try asserting to your parents that your personal tastes and choices have nothing to do with their parenting and that no one else can influence an individual's personal taste. Just because you are their child, does not mean you are going to like the same things that they do. You have the right to feel good about yourself and to be in control of how you look and what you use to adjorn your body. If we are so guided by other people's thoughts and beliefs, then what is the point of having our own?
they'll get used to it. Thats how my parents were about my tattoo at first, now they're fine. Thats how they were when I became a vegitarian 3 years ago. Once its been awhile, they will be used to it. Now that its new, its a big deal, ya know? Parents dont like change it seems like
my parents hated every modification i did to my body they started with my earings i had my ears pierced on 14 and i had a huge fight with my mather and stepfather but my dad was cool with that then i had my tongue pierced and when my mother saw it she started crying (she thought i am gonna die) she lied on the bed and hold her heart telling me that shes gonna have a heart attack and then she through me out of the house now shes a vegetarian proud but still psycho mum she will get used to it my mum got used to it (sort of)
I had very mixed feelings about my son getting tattos on his neck.He already had his arms covered and some others.It wasn't about my parenting tho,just the fact that people would think he was a con or low life or?One of our customers said"man,your son is a scary dude,but once I talked to him ,I really liked him."As a parent I had to just accept what he wanted and not give him a ration 'a shit about it.Parents definately think their kids reflect on them.Some are more hard-ass than others.Fact of life ,I guess.
^^^it's the same with spouse's/significant others.... people freak about stuff like that because ultimately, they feel it's somehow a reflection of themselves. That, and the fear of change. It can be upsetting for parents to witness their children becoming the type of person they didn't expect they'd become. They're thrown for a loop. But declaring independence and separation from parents... in the material sense... is a good thing. They'll get over it if you prove you're growing into a responsible person despite the dreads. (Assuming they're rational.)
I am 32, married, with 4 kids. The only one I have told about my dreaddie journey is my husband. I am now about 3 months going all natural, got some nice dreads starting to loc up, and I still haven't heard any slack (YET) my MIL lives with us, and I know that she will be the one to say something mean and nasty.... when she realizes.... the only thing my husband said was that he doesn't want me to dread my hair, he likes it the way it is, and that was only about a month in, so it didn't look like dreads at all yet. We have not had another conversation about it since. It makes me kinda sad because I want to involve him, but I know he doesn't like it so I just avoid the conversation.....
wow. every single word in this note is a blade with which we should cut our parents. this is awesome man. :cheers2:
wow. every single word in this note is a blade with which we should cut our parents. this is awesome man. :cheers2:
Coming back home to Kuwait, from the states, I got the weirdest feedback from my parents. I will highlight their first reactions to my hair: Mom: "did you flee from a jungle or something?" Dad: "I shot the sheriff" - heh Grandpa: "Hippie?" Grandma: "Jesus??" funny shit, but I have been making it clear that my decision on what I do with my hair is my choice. I respect their views, they're learning to respect mines and it's been going good.
