Problem that’s lasted for 3 years, some help would be great.

Hi, I need some help here.

My girlfriend has a very peculiar way of orgasming. I have seen may girls orgasm and I have never encountered one as her.

The problem lies in only orgasming with clitoral stimulation and after the orgasm (she gets it very fast with my fingers or tongue) she becomes extremely sensitive and her arousal level drops like a stone dropped from a plane (just like men after orgasm). Also, from the minute I start stimulating her it seems like I have a deadline to finish her off otherwise she gets extremely sensitive without cumming. It’s like, I start touching her, and if I don’t make her cum with my fingers or tongue in like, 3 minutes, she gets sensitive and its all over for a couple of hours.

She also has a low libido and goes well without sex without missing it.

I’ve been with her for 3 years, and its been like this always.

Well, that’s the biggest problem, but she does have some pleasure with stimulation of the supposed g spot and with sex, but doesn’t even nearly reaches orgasm.

Can anyone enlighten me here?

Also, (doesn’t have much to do with the subject above) I would like to have some tips on hip movement during sex from both you guys and girls, I’ve always been curious since I find some of my friends doing it for greatly increasing pleasure in their mates.

Thanks.

 

maybe her clit is too exposed and while rubbing or licking it it feels good but she gets raw too quickly and feels the pain as soon as she orgasms.

Try licking or rubbing (gently) just above where you usually do (her clit) and rub more on the clitoral hood.

The clit itself is extremely sensitive and can get roughed up easily

 

Thanks, yes i know, the thing is she orgasms very quickly and if i do that (rubbing over the hood, like teasing her) she moves my hand straight on top of it until she orgasms. The problem is that she stays sensitive for a verryyyyy long time and loses all arousal after orgasm.
And the deadline that i said is realy strange, if i stimulate her other then on top of the clit and do it for a while she gets sensitive and then cant orgasm. Her refractory period is similar to a man, she cant have multiples. Honestly dont even know what to do.

 

Dude...... that sucks. Sorry, I got nothing.

 

lol thats ok.
Yep it sucks, even my mother (with whom i have a very open and trustfull relation) says to dump her, but she is perfect in every single way exept in bed.
She is the kind of girl that one wants to get married to, but thigs normaly get worse when you get married. Hot girls turn to be just good, good girls turn to normal, and bad ones (like mine) turn completly assexual. :'(

 

i suggest you dont dump her if only problem is sex. if shes too sensitive after, why dont you just let her do stuff to you for a while? then when youre almost done have sex so you both orgasm at bout same time.
or you could always try something like anal i suppose, i dunno, experiment or something

 

The lube that men use to desensitise themselves also works on women.

 

Im sorry im a tad inpatient today so I have not read your whole post nor all replies... but what caught my atention is you coment about her low libido levl.
Sports and general fisical exercise on a dayly basis works like nothing else to get libido as high as its ever been !! I cycle to and from work every day (I pocket fuel and parking money)
I want to a farm/hotel over the weekend with my girlfriend and we had about 8 fuck sessions of about 1 1/2h hours each !!!
If you guys dont have the same privilege as I do to live 8,2kms (both way comute) find something else to do !!

 

Check out my posts here on how do do a G Spot orgasm that works. If you can't find it PM me and I will give you personal instruction.

 

Your technique is poor, you need to understand just how sensitive their clitoris is.

All this stuff about g-spot is all wrong.

Wipe the slate clean forget everything you learnt about sex.

You need to educate yourself with scientific information not info from pornos or from what other people are saying.

Women and Men in pornos are paid actors, and I doubt very much that they actually enjoy sex whilst they are on the set.

You need to learn about foreplay, kissing, cuddling, and romance.

Women need the emotional thing to enjoy sex.

Its a womens mind that unlocks the ability to have an orgasm, if you don't satisfy that you can forget about orgasm.

I'm extremely gentle with women I like to caress them all over with my hands for a long time, when I say caressing you have to have hands that are as gentle as the wings of a butterfly that glide all over them for hours on end.

One should not even think about penetration before a women is socking wet, otherwise your going to have probelms or create problems.

So do take her out and do things for her not in a robotic kiind of way but in a honest, kind and sincere way.

If a women is tired, take the load off her.

Take her out for dinner and just have fun, cuddle her, kiss her ever so gentley on the mouth and around the neck, near their ears and even on their ears.

Don't think of yourself, don't be selfish, take your time, if you see that she's getting aroused, then go with it.

Keep the foreplay going for a long time, keep teasing her, and teasing her.

Women aren't stupid, you have to be genuine and kind and loveing.

Caress them all over their body like I said very gentley, repeatedly over and over and over ...

And when your arms are aching, switch to the other arm and keep going.

Understand that you have to know that your stimuli is effective.

If your hands are rough, dry and cracked you have to get them soft and smooth if you want the foreplay to be affective.

I think the thing to remember is let them take the clothes off, don't push them, use the carrot not the stick.

Lure them into passionate sex like you would lure a fish to bait.

If she's tired avoid it just fall asleep caressing her.

Guys sometimes wonder how to get a women into bed.

Its easy because they enjoy good sex just as much or more than you.

I remember one GF years ago, I didn't say lets fuck, I just started playing with her hair ...

I made it so pleasurable that she turned around and then of course I started to caress her shoulders, I watched her nipples grow and stand up erect ...

I didn't go straight for the kill, I just kept playing with her back with my fingers, I could feel her skin and the goose bumps ... it was relaxing her and at the same time making her feel aroused ...

This went on for an hour until she took her top off after awhile she pushed my hand down to her ...

But still I didn't go there ....

I just kept caressing her thighs, the back of her legs, the front of her legs.

The sides of her legs ...

Her tummy, circling my fingers in cirlcing motions around her back, her sides, and still didn't go anywhere near her vulva or breasts.

Finally after awhile a ever so gentley brushed her vulva, I could tell she was really begging for it, again I didn't go there ...

She takes her panties off I had a "frog in my throat" so to speak, then I went up to her breasts and gentley brushed them with my fingers.

Around and around my hands went with this constant caressing ...

Then I caressed her breasts but not for long, back to her back, her sides her tummy ...

By this time I can feel the heat coming off her body and her vulva she was really damp on her vulva and wet in the vagina.

so thats basically what I do to get them there, if you can do that you've gone a long way to getting them aroused and ready for penetration.

To get them to orgasm its a long hard tiring journey that very few I'm sure have ever set out on.

But of course if your willing and you persist maybe just maybe you can get her to orgasm.

I guess its like anything, nothing comes easy.

Its hard work and experimentation over a long time that gets you to that place that very few ever experience.

 

Damn Ben......

if only, if only.......

(note to self: figure out how to tell bf that without hurting him)

 

And that's the whole difference between having sex and making love.

 

OH MY!! Thats the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Ben you are a giver, good thing. Do they return the favor?


Tiffany

 

try doggy style and other positions that have no clitoral stimulation. explain you love that she cums but also need time to get your rocks off too!

 

... oh god yeah !!!

What most men miss is that fact that when you give that much foreplay the reward is being on the end of a really powerful orgasm - and that means pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, the difference is its REAL.

... after many hours of foreplay both you and your partner are totally drenched in sweat. So much so that it makes final penetration really easy ( nature is wonderful like that ).

... once your inside the women at the onset of orgasm, the first thing a guy feels is those keegle muscles start to rythmically contract around our penis, and the ballooning/distending of a womens vaginal barrel, the pleasure from that is just indescribable - initially a man freaks at his penis being almost trapped inside a womens vagina.

... if you just "go with it" and relax, it leads to this incredible ejacuation that feels like its lifting your head off, but its more than just ejaculation, one enters this strange out of body experience ( as ridiculous as this sounds its true) in your mind you feel like your souls are fused/locked together and this almost druglike state of euphoria and total love for your partner.

Read my other thread it describes it better.

 

pwoa gental ben. what i would give to have you for a night. you sound amazing, or at least, make teh experience sound amazing. wyou would be good at writting erotic stories.

 

Between Ben's remarks (very good - if a bit highbrow) and the description of the original poster, I thought everything was normal. Most women have a libido which is much more discreet than a mans. Remember Princess Di's remark,"men need sex, women don't!" Unless a woman is revved up by methods similar to Ben's, they can, in my experience, go for years without the trouble of some guy rutting around in their vulva with a cock. And if you start in with direct contact with a clit you probably do have only 3/4 minutes - 'cause she's already revved up (but maybe not by you!) I really think Ben's correct in saying, as I have all my adult life, men and women are different and you won't learn a thing about that difference watching porn, or listening to the boys. Especially is good sex NOT akin to masturbation. Good male lovers are patient lovers. They are not anxious, nor do they doubt that the woman knows far more about it than they. They don't look at the differences as 'problems.' They follow the woman's lead and coaching, until they've got it right. Then they can shine. Finally, they realize that every single woman of the human species is a wonderful creature, the result of eons of evolution, before whom they may lie in awe, AND EVRY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT FROM EVERY OTHER ONE! There are no solutions, only the wonderful experience of being taught by each other. To the original poster: even some women don't know any of this and think something is wrong. Why not assure her nothing is wrong and that sex is a lifelong learning (and fun) experience. Your best introductory remark might be, "....let's start again by pretending that neither one of us knows anything about sex. What do you think we should do to get started, cuddle for a while?"

 

I can assure you orgasm really is amazing, if your fortunate enough to meet the right guy you may just get there.

I remember that night like it was yesterday, and I new then that this was a very special experience that I will probably never experience again.