ThE eConOmY iS dOinG GrOoVy!!!!!!!

Hey guys, like I totally don't get this stuff. Like, oh my god, why is everyone freaking out about the economy?? Like the government would totally never let anything bad happen because this is America and America means freedom and stuff. I mean, the government are just like you and I and want what's best for us. Everything is like totally taylor-made to making things easy for us. We should all be happy and stop complaining. There is always a McDonald's right around the corner.

Today I totally went to the mall and purchased a bunch of Chinese slave labor to make myself feel adequate and compete with my mindless, prozac-addled friends. Then I stopped at the food court and ordered a double Whopper and diet coke. On the way home I stopped and filled the tank of my mom's Escalade up for $5 a gallon. But it's totally groovy because soon we'll all be riding bikes and we can all live together off the land like true hippies. Yayyyy!!!! Go Green!!!!!

On the way home I had my cell phone up to my ear the entire time trying to look important to the other people on the road. Some people say this could give me a brain tumor, but I don't care because people think I am cool and I cannot go for five minutes without talking to my idiot friends about the last person they had sex with.

Tonight I am totally going to watch Al Gore's 'An Incovenient Truth'. Al Gore is like a total hero and he really cares about the environment with his four mansions and Occidental Oil stock.

People need to stop being paranoid and just enjoy life. I mean, why do some people feel they need to think so much?? They are so pretentious. I mean, reading books are for people who never get laid and have probably never went to the clubs or taken E in their entire lives. Whenever things get too heavy for me, I just turn on my TV and watch Nanny 911 or So You Think You Can Dance?

These are totally the best of times. We have more freedom than ever before. I mean, the police in the black uniforms are just there to protect us, and so is homeland security. The warrantless wiretaps are merely to protect us from al-Qaeda. The Military Commissions Act is a good thing, and so is the removal of habeus corpus and posse comitatus.

I am so sick of these conspiracy people who are trying to warn me about stuff that just isn't true. I mean, I know it isn't true because CNN never talks about it. My teacher at school never talks about it either, so there is just no way!! I am just going to read my Time magazine and repeat whatever I read in it so I can sound important and people will think I am totally normal and smart.

I love being an American 'cause I never have to think. I know I can just continue to consume and watch football and drink beer and never have to worry about anything because the government will save me and provide me with all the good things in life.

I am so happy!!!

 

You've inspired me to go out and spend all of my money on a new car.

 

i was just fixing to start a thread,,the stock market is in a pattern like that old saying..
one step forward and two steps back.. at this rate by spring the dow should be in negative territory..

its o.k. i just got my 401 k statement and ive only lost 8% this year.. hopefully ill get laid off before its all gone.. did i say that??
oh wait theres nothing wrong with the economy and inflation is not at 20%.. and no one is going to have to choose between heat and food this winter..

 

so when we borrow money from the feds to keep the chinese from losing money on fannie and freddie is that better than borrowing money from the chinese to bail fannie and freddie out so the chinese wont lose any money???

 

you go girl

 

:S

Is there something I can help you with?

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e36gLfrmRCw

 

DOOD!!!! I totally smoked five bowls of banana peels while listening to that song yesterday!!!! My Donovan poster started singing to me and my lava lamp took on the shape of Jimi Hendrix's penis. It was heavy man!!!!

 

Maybe you should take some communication advice from good ol' Art then...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6cR5furQac

 

Pressed Rat,

That was wonderful, I highly enjoyed it. Thank you.

Joshua

 

Hahaha. That's most polite way I've seen Pavel say "shut up".

But really, Matt maybe you want to re-think your approach?

:S

 

Honestly, Pressed Rat. If you ever want anyone to take your dramaticized monologues seriously, they're going to have to be realistic. What valley girl would use the expression 'taylor made'. Its 'tailor' made. As in clothing adjustments. Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

hahahaha...

I actually thought, maybe the capital letters in the title spelt something "ThE eConOmY iS dOinG GrOoVy!!!!!!!" but yeah, it just spelt tecoysoggov...

 

you forgot some letters! TECOYSOGGOV

 

Oh i did!
my bad.. xD

 

OHSHIT ENCRYPTED MESSAGE!


I'm gonna take a wild swing and say that rat's been imprisoned in a FEMA camp and is sending out a distress signal to the militiamen in the mountains!

Godspeed militia men

godspeed

 

Leave him alone. He's just sick of commercials.

 

Crack Binges R Us

 

Hey Pressed_Rat, like I totally don't get this stuff. Like, oh my god, why ISN'T everyone freaking out about the government?? Like the government always lets bad things happen because this is America and America means corruption and greed and stuff. I mean, the government are nothing like us and never, ever want what's best for us. Everything is like totally taylor-made to making us not see this. We should all be unhappy and start complaining. There is always a McDonald's right around the corner.

Today I totally went to the mall and purchased some tin foil to make myself a hat and compete with my mindless, conspiracy-addled friends. Then I stopped at the food court to snicker at all the sheep eating fast food. On the way home I was confused because I haven't got a car, but I didn't want it to look I was doing my bit for the environment like those libtards. But it's totally groovy because soon we'll overturn this corrupt government. Yayyyy!!!! Go Knowledge!!!!!

On the way home I had my cell phone up to my ear the entire time trying to look important to the other people on the road. Some people say this could give me a brain tumor, but I don't care because what's the point in living when the government are covertly removing all of our freedoms.

Tonight I am totally going to laugh at Al Gore's 'An Incovenient Truth'. Al Gore is like a total **** and he really doesn't care about the environment with his four mansions and Occidental Oil stock.

People need to stop enoying life and just be paranoid. I mean, why do some people feel they don't need to think?? They are so stupid. I mean, reading books are for an elite minority of people who have the superior intelligence to see things that the stupid, ignorant majority of people can't. Whenever things get too heavy for me, I just turn on the internet and gloat.

These are totally the best of times. We have less freedom than ever before, but that gives me more of a sense of purpose than I've ever had.

I am so sick of the media trying to feed me government propaganda that just isn't true. I mean, I know it isn't true because my conspiracy website said so. I am just going to read my conspiracy books and repeat whatever I read in it so I can sound important and people will think I am totally radical and smart.

I love being an American 'cause I have so much more things to be paranoid about. I know I can just continue to rebel against social norms and worry about everything because the government will take us all down if I don't.

I am so paranoid!!!

 

Ugh. Another "Hey Pressed_rat - luki meeeee!" post.

Matt, give me your home address sometime in a PM. We should swap books. I've got a few you'd like.