REALLY need help on this one guys/girls

Okay so heres the skinny. I met this girl thru a mutual friend in sept. of 2007 and started talkin to her via aim and phone. eventually i mustered up the courage to ask her out on a date. she said yes so i told her id meet her at the movies with my friend and his girlfriend because this girl is friends with my friends girlfriend. so it was basically a double date to the movies. except me and this girl were going to the movies why my friend went to his girlfriends house. so anyways, the date goes very well. i get my first kiss from this girl, shes adorable, and i really dig her personailty and everything. eventually on the date i ask her to be my girlfriend she seems very excited and says yes. and im just head over heels in love with her, i know its quick but i truely was. this lasted 5 days and she gives me a call and says she doesnt think its goin to work out and that she just wants to be friends. that she didnt feel the connection as much as i did. and i am just crushed, broken in peices. the next 6 months are a daze to me i was still talking to her and being there for her because of how much i loved her but it was just tearing me apart inside that i couldnt have her. i almost ODed snorting xanax and drinking until i was puking. i needed to numb the pain.
eventually it comes to a head point and miraculously on the night i was going to tell her that i cant be friends with her because of how much it was hurting me she reveals shed like to give things another try. we make plans for me to go to her house and hang out for the day. IM SOARING. i go to her house and we kiss, hold hands, and hold eachother. we have intense make out session and we are back together officailly. for the next month everything is wonderful everything i could have dreamed of with this girl. we both love eachother immensly, the sex is amazing and her family loves me. then it starts to go down, the day after our one month she says she wants a break. she wants to be single for a while and be a teenager. but assures me that we're just temporarily broken up and we will get back together. while on this break 2 people try to ask her out and 1 tries to kiss her. im always texting her because im scared and afraid we wont get back together and being insanely clingy and she gets mad at me and eventually we end it completley when she starts dating another guy, the guy she lost her virginity too none the less. and for a while she still talks to me and tells me she doesnt even love this guy and all this shit. eventually she says she doesnt want me to contact her anymore, its not right for her to talk to her ex and ive been upsetting her. i throw my hands up and just say whatever fuck you. then out of no where recently she starts contacting me again. leaving me IMs and such. and a day or two ago she left one that said i have something very important to tell you i tried contacting her last night and she wasnt there. this morning she calls me and apologizes completley. she said everything i wanted to hear her say. that she royally fucked up, she ruined something perfect to sit with some kid and smoke weed all the time and that she wants me back. that she misses me and would want to start things back up again. and really dont know what to do here. i was hoping to get some of your opinions on this. please help me out, i guess im still in lvoe with her but i cant get hurt like that again. i mean i had cried during that break like i didnt know i could cry that hard, just intense sobbing and violent convulsions. please help

 

man up

 

Hi Robyn. Reading through all my posts, yes? Well... this is one of them.

 

yeah i know man. but im gonna wait till this concert in august that we both just found out we're both going too. im gonna be on 3 tabs and i know lucy will show the true light of this situation and the path i should take

 

I wouldn't rely on drugs to solve my relationship problems, but I guess it's your life.

 

She sounds very flaky/unreliable. Not someone you'd want as a girlfriend. Try not to get emotionally attached to this girl, but nothing wrong with getting to makeout have sex with her whenever she wants to. Just don't expect a long-term relationship to come out of it until she matures.

 

she has mad issues. bipolar, anxiety wicked bad family issues. idk its hard to determine what to do. and Lucys more than a drug for me shes my ally and teacher.

 

And what has she taught you?

 

enlightenment, the way of existence and creation. she lays out the path before me. shes the greatest. i love her benevolence and knowledge

 

You think you can learn things by deranging your senses with chemicals? All that produces is delusions, and you're obviously no exception.

 

hahahah. this isnt the matter at hand zorba if you want to chastize me for drug use go to another forum. i need some advice on how to deal with the situation at hand that i described to you.

 

That's what I'm trying to give you. Don't use drugs to help make life choices. It won't work. Recreational drug use is fine, and none of my business either way, but when you start to think they are a path to enlightenment, and that they can help you make the right choices, I think there's a problem. But again, it's none of my business, I'm just trying to help.

 

well i appreciate it but i dont believe in recreational drug use for the most part. time and time again i like to get high and have a good time. but for the most part im looking for happiness and ive already found enlightenment thru lucy. and im not making the choice completley on how i see it thru the eyes of her im also doing to heavy thinking on the subject. and basically whether or not this will be a healthy relationship. i know i cant rely on many other things or people other than myself so i know 70% of this decision is going to be made by me.

 

Well, it sounds like someone thinks that they can afford to be reckless with your emotions and affection.

I can give you advice but I can't say you will take it.

Don't put up with this female. You have a life full of first kisses, new crushes, REAL love, and new experiences ahead of you. It saddens me to see someone of your age putting this much stock in a person who isn't on your level. It's going to be hard, but you need to put the 'in love' feelings you have aside. This girl knows what you are going through and is using your predictability against you. You are a fabulous communicator. It is apparent from your posts. Maybe it's time for you to keep your mouth closed and not let this girl know your emotions because she may very well use them against you. Find another friend to express yourself to.

About the drug use. Oft times drugs seem to soften the blow when your emotions get rattled. Don't believe it. You merely ignore your inner feelings and starve yourself of the realization you deserve. You can only get over and cope with loss by experiencing it head-on and enduring it until time smooths over the rough edges for you. The problems you seek to escape by using drugs will only be waiting for you when you return, and chances are that they will be compounded--because you created more questions than can ever be answered. I'm not going to judge you, just please be careful. I have lost good friends to LSD enhanced depression.<wipes tear from eye.>

What I think is you have thought about being with this person so much and you were so happy to be with her that you put her ahead of yourself. The hardest part is ignoring the empty feeling that separation brings (totally natural) and do what is best for your long term well being.

 

wow man thank you very much. that was very insightful and i appreciate it.i think your right. next time i talk to her im gonna simply tell her that if she wants to be with me then be with me and if not then that part of our relationship is over. she has a boyfriend currently. but anyways thank you very much zoomboom

 

Dude you're 16. You should worry about setting yourself up for a better life down the road via doing good in school. Not some other highschool girl who won't matter when you're grown up.

 

Some high school relationships do actually last, you know. I'm not saying this one will -- I have no way of knowing them -- but it can happen.

 

good grades in school -> good grade in college -> better job -> better pay -> better clothes -> better pussy when you are doing better drugs

lawl...LSD is lame
you're ate up bro

 

first off i couldnt give a fuck about school. i barely pass every year. second off think what you will about LSD. she has given me the greatest guidence out of any person or thing.she made my truely appreciate the world around me and made me realize things i couldnt fathom without her. im done with this girl. shes been nothing but a problem. thank you for your help everyone. especially zoomboom.