Should couples be married to live in a monogamous, lifelong relationship? I personally dont believe so. I think it is everyones choice, but should that choice put undue pressure on peoples relationships? I believe the reason more marriages end than work out is because of the devolved policies that being married comes with. Should law be the basis of any relationship? Seems like marriage has sold itself out throughout history..what do you think?
I agree with you, I think it's a choice. If you are happy in your long term monogamous relationship, there's no need to feel pressured to get married. If you're both happy, why fix what's not broken? There are numerous stories of people being in relationships for years and years, they get married, and the pressures of marriage ultimately ruin the marriage and the relationship on the whole. I'm definitely not against marriage... I personally hope to get married someday. I want the big wedding and the dress and the friends and my dad walking me down the aisle. But anyway. We're in 2008 now and in some ways, marriage has sold itself out. I do not think that everyone has to be married to be in a lifelong, happy, committed relationship.
thanks for agreeing. I also agree that it has its romantic sounding benfits.lol but im sticking to my guns. its not now what it was originally intended to be. its been abused too much to hold sacred any longer.
i rather like the idea of lifelong monogamy, but thats probably because i found someone worth marrying. i certainly dont believe in waiting til marriage to fuck - would you buy a car without test driving it? you gotta know how the two of you workt togther, live togther, fuck together, fight and compromise together before contemplating planning on spending forever together. though i might be a wee bit biased since i did just get engaged the other day...
I forsee, in a few years, legally speaking, there will be no difference between being married or not married. Then it can truly be a personal decision not a financial one. Well atleast that pressure is out of the way. I do think there are far more societal, religious and parental pressures forcing people to marry. But I don't forsee societal, religious and parental pressures easing up or disappearing any time soon (wish they would). So: Should getting married matter. NO...but there is pressure to do so, only a small fraction of that is truly a personal issue IMO
thats it exactly Allonym, you are engaged so you are biased. And now someone has congratulated you. Why does some official step have to take place so people can "officially" be happy for you. the congrats should come regardless of any engagement. its just too many rules;it a club member type of attitude it creates. all serious couples enjoying mongamous domestic bliss and otherwise should be treated as equals is this day and age. how many married couples actually make it work?not too many my freind its a very sad statistic im afaid. some said, if its not broke why fix it? Its overdoing it. the money and fuss and vanity that go into a wedding are disgusting. its a parade. people are dying and the planet is crumbling-OMG im engaged, oboy!Lets spend some $$$.
It's another method of control--checking in with the state to obtain paperwork to live together.Checking in with religion to make yourself feel like the 'god" approves of you having sex.However,monetary issues should be covered and a civil union would/should take care of those.I was married once ,but she and I got her pregnant and that's what you did in 1960.Don't like asking permission about my decisions in my life.
I think if a person wants to get married they should, and if they don't want to, and are happy in their relationship, then it shouldn't matter. You are sure right about people wasting huge amounts of money on their wedding. It's stupid. We wasted a ton of money. We had an open bar, where everyone could drink free (big mistake cuz we had people we didn't even know showing up) and our tab was $1500. It was fucking insane. And that was many years ago. The whole thing cost thousands of dollars. I DO think that being married is kind of good when you have kids, because it makes it harder to leave, and that makes it more stable. I'm sure if my husband and I were only "dating" we would have left each other by now. Our marriage is ok, but could be improved on. But of course if the parents are miserable and hate each other what good is that for the kids? I've known people like that. Yuck.
being engaged doesnt mean people are officially happy for me, my friend and our families were happy for us and our relationship before we got engaged. im not saying you have to get married. im saying its right for some people. just because -you- think its a stupid idea doesnt mean its wrong for everyone
being a humble, lowly, inexperienced 20 yo, i don't fully know the answer to this but aren't there certain "legal" benefits (which i suppose is the topic of the thread) to being married like different types of insurance or something. i really don't know that, and i'm not trying to talk out of my ass. but i remember my brother telling me about his ex-woman (the mother of his children) giving him a hard time about getting married (along with all her friends) for something along those lines. however, to state my opinion, i think it's the love that should determine which way your relationship goes. if you both want to get married, and that's where your heart takes you, you should probably do it. if you don't think marriage is right, or you just don't see the point, then you shouldn't. i know those are very cliche opinions, but they make sense to me. plus, if you live together long enough isn't that considered common-law marriage? i dunno, that might be diff. from state to state (or i guess country to country). what's the diff. b/w a common-law marriage and a regular marriage? (other than the obvious) ^i think that question is reflective of my above statement about the benefits i'm actually just asking more questions than giving answers here
Yeah its all messed up together, the law and common law and peoples rights. Its all BULL! After three months here in Canada, men and women become common law, which carries all of the same rights as legalmarriage,but however, instead of a divorce you would require a separation which is the same thing but cheaper, but not easier. THE GOV.T WANTS US TO GET MARRIED SO BADLY, THEY CONSIDER YOU MARRIED EVEN IF YOU ARE JUST LIVING TOGETHER. THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR CHOICES AWAY! everyone should stop getting married legally and do it spiritually instead
its 6 months in most of canada not 3, though bc may have different provincial legislation, im not sure
As far as I know you have to be living with a person for over a year in ontario to be considered common law but it's different in every province. I think you should get married if you want to, and when you do it should be just how you define it. I know people who say that they are married and they aren't. It doesn't matter if it's in the government database or not. I do know that Common-law was put in place to protect un-wed mothers from running dead beat dads.
