man, it feels like everything just hit me all at once today.. it's like, not only am i trying to deal with my own stress, but im also taking on other people's problems.. (sometimes it sucks being so empathic) and it started taking its toll physically.. i've literally made myself sick.. (it's just a cold, but i know if i dont take care of it, it will escalate) first of all, im stressed out over this guy.. and its mostly because i know i have to make myself stop liking him so much. because i know that it's never going to go anywhere, and if i dont nip this in the bud right now, i'm just gonna end up hurting myself.. and it's really hard, but i'm working on it. but also, a friend of mine was really unhappy in her relationship (she shouldn't have gotten back with him in the first place) and we talked about how she should leave him, put in for a transfer, and then we'd move to this city thats about 2.5 -3 hours away from where we live now.. (we have a couple of other friends who live there) so, she did break up with him. and i found out today that she put in for her transfer.. and i guess she still wants me to go with her. but i havent gotten a chance to talk to her, and wont get to until tomorrow (she's at work) and i'd really like to go. see, ive been depressed now for a long time (chronic) and it's like i cant pull myself out of it.. and i really want to. i live at home with my parents, i dont have a job,(i'm 20) and those things depress me even more. so it just sucks away what little motivation i do have.. and i think if i were to go with her, it might do me some good. i'd have to get a job because i wouldn't have that safety net of my parents (i know they wont kick me out) and i'd have to keep that job because of that... i guess it all boils down to me wanting to be independant. and i think the only way for me to do it, is if i just throw myself into it. i know it's not going to be easy, but i seriously think it's the only way. but im also worried about telling my parents that i want to move with her.. i'm worried about what their reaction would be.. but i really dont know what's going on with my friend, because i havent talked to her, and i'm not going to bring it up to them until i talk to her.. i just feel like i'm.. trapped here. and i know if i tell her to go, and i'll move down there later on, i'll just end up staying here.. and it's not like i could never move back here later on if i do go.. but this is kind of a huge thing. i mean, the longest i've ever been away from home without my parents is like 10 days.. so, i guess my real question is: should i go for it? if anyone could offer me any advice, i'd really appreciate it. really. if you've read this far, thanks for 'listening' to me babble.. thanks in advance to anyone who replies.. - stykz -
Hi day_tripper77 .. ok just a suggestion ! Imagine what would be different in your life if you would not fear to change (and any cold or flu or new relationship just gets you into new changes and out again too and this is where you will end up and start from anyway) ... and then act this way, and accept what is and take care for by blessing it rather than just reacting and being part of what you feel is a trap. And do not worry that any will keep you from changing and growing and blossoming and becoming who you are and that this might not be yours. Sigh ...but it is all yours ... and should you go for it ... I guess you already know. Wishing you well
thanks moving cloud.. yeah, i decided to go for it. and even though nothing is set yet [my friend has been really sick (pneumonia) and we still dont know when her transfer will go through.. and we still have to find out about getting the house] im really excited - well nervous/excited.. i've never even been to the city we're moving to, and i've lived in the same town my whole life.. so like i said, this will be a huge change for me. and i think that im making the right decision. anyways, i really appreciate your response. thank you. - stykz -
