I need someone's advice. My best friend and I have not been getting alone very well. The thing is, he's really depressed but he makes many hurtful remarks to me. He calls me a bitch and then gets pissed if I'm offended. He's said that I'm unfit to have a dog, let alone kids. I disagreed w/ his political views (he thinks that Bush knows everything) and so I was "arguing w/ him in his house" I live downstairs w/ his mother & sister b/c THEY invited me to live w/ them when I moved back to IN. He's pissed at me b/c of that. It hurts me to think that he doesn't care about me like I do for him. I mean, if he needed a place to stay & I had an appt. he would have my room. I would sleep on the couch. I love him, but he hurts me so bad. I just got over my own depression so I REALLY don't need this right now. I don't want to sound self rightous, but sometimes I think he's just being very selfish. I have NEVER personally attacked him, either by calling him names or saying purposefully hurtful things. He gets pissed at me when I tell him that he's smart. What should I do? Please, please PLEASE I need some advice! Peace & Love Kim
you need to tlak to your friends mum or sister. tell her about whats going on and what a shit he can be to you. mayeb the two of you cn find a solution?
Yeah I wouldn't bring his family into this, I know I wouldn't (and haven't) wanted my family involved in something like that, sometimes you just need to figure it out on your own
first of all that was very nice of his mom to let you come live with them. and secondly you two need ot sit down and have a nice long talk. tell him exactly how you feel and why you feel that way. and try and help him with his depression by telling him postitive things and if he gets upset try to tell him that you understand what hes going through. also try to rationalize with him. also dont let his depression and bad attitude get yu back into your depression. hope my words helped you some what . *HUGS* fallenfairy
well, i found out he's shitty to everyone in his life, not just me. i think im going to give him space & tell him that i will listen to him if he needs someone to talk to. he said something to me the other day "if i'm not happy, then why should anyone else be?" so i wrote him a poem & im going to give it to him w/ a little gift i bought a few days before our fight. but i do have a question: why do people get offended when you try to do something nice for them? sure i buy him stuff b/c he's my FRIEND not b/c i feel sorry for him. i think he accused me of that w/o actually saying it ("i get what i deserve & i dont need your help") i mean, i do that w/ all of my friends. i wash some of hannah's (his sister) clothes w/ mine. i replaced a flat tire on his mom's car that she lets me drive. i don't do stuff for people b/c i pity them. i do it b/c thats what feels best TO ME. i just don't understand people sometimes. Any thoughts? peace & love kim
some people are just bitter bastards, and could be that way for a multitude of reasons... and more than likely, it's not going to be worth your time to find out, imo.
It doesn't sound like he has much respect for you. If it's possible I'd move out and live somewhere else and let him come to you if he does. If you really have to live with him though, I'd be polite but keep your distance and let him come to you also. No-one deserves that kind of treatment, especially the fact that you are a friend of his. Ok he is depressed but that is no excuse to treat you like shit all the time. If anything I would've thought he'd be nicer to you for moral support. He's not a friend and you deserve better. Good Luck X
yes, i do agree w/ you. but thats why i asked him earlier why he was mad at me. his answer was "you do stupid things & dont think. you say stupid things & dont think" i asked what he meant by that & he said "remember when you wanted to wash the windows to my car? there were these streaks & if you had thought, then you knew i was going to be pissed." i remembered what he was talking about & i had spent an hour trying to get those windows clean & i thought they were as good as they were going to get. the glass cleaner wasnt that great. he said "if you thought about what you said, then you wouldnt have to explain yourself." the thing is, half the time he says stuff, i dont understand HIM! i think and think and think about what he might mean. so we both dont totally understand each other. i dont get pissed @ him if i misinterpret what he says. he says that im moving into his territory. but the upstairs is his space, but its his PARENTS house. he lives in his PARENTS HOUSE not HIS. His mom WANTS me to live w/ her & in fact, hes supposed to pay $100 rent but doesnt & his parents arent going to kick him out. ive always asked if i needed to pay for anything & they tell me no. but thats why i fix his mom's car when it has trouble (which by the way, when the o2 sensor went out & the starters dying too b/c its a Saturn, thats my fault too. saturns are notoriously POS's) when i worked for his parents for free he got pissed. that was my way of "earning my keep" i just dont get it. & yes, i will be moving soon. i just hate that he doesn't want to be my friend. i write him letters & poems telling him how great & special he is, but that just seems to piss him off. at night, when i hear weird noises upstairs, i am so afraid that he's trying to kill himself or worse, succeeded. that scares me so much that i cant sleep sometimes. i just wish he loved himself as much as the people around him do. i know people say you should tell someone about it, but his parents & family dont take it seriously (hes been in a hospital on suicide watch for 2 weeks before). i know i cant change him, but thats what makes it so hard. i still am going to do nice things for him, but just stay back a little bit. i love him but i know ive lost my best friend. peace & love kim
erm, he`s really stressing you out, unfortunately you both need space. just do your own thing, and if he appears in your life some time/s then go with it. but should things get tense like that again, tell him simply you don`t want the friendship to end, and he`s hurting you too much. he needs to get his act together, this can only be done by himself, when he gets a true look in the mirror - so to speak.
