i'm not even really sure what i am trying to ask with this post but i am just really confused or something... maybe i'm just so used to being miserable that i don't want to accept happiness. haha i don't know. sorry it's so long and rambling but any opinions or advice or anything would be really appreciated. so i've been seeing this guy for a few weeks and he just keeps blowing my mind over and over. i was very lonely and unhappy before i met him and i was practically praying for him and then he just appeared. we met in a pretty unconventional way that i am slightly ashamed of. i actually lied to my friends about how we met but aside from that it is perfect. we have everything in common, we do wonderful exciting things or just chill and sleep in the grass but every second is amazing. not to mention the unbelievable sex. he makes me so happy and i know he is happy with me. we've spent a lot of time together in this short period of time and we are pretty much enchanted with each other. we've gone on wild, random, spontaneous trips and made plans and we're excited about more time together. i'm worried about a few things though because that's what i do and i can't get over them. first of all we are moving pretty damn fast. i tend to get caught up in these kinds of things and get over enthused so i am afraid i'm going to scare him off or something, although he is moving just as fast as i am and he is the one coming to me most of the time. we've talked about how crazy we are being and he seems to be thinking the same things i am except the worrying. he is just really relaxed and i am really not so these things bother me whereas he just thinks it's a little unusual. my biggest concern is that i have a lot of psychological issues he doesn't know much about. that tends to be the downfall of all my relationships. i am trying really hard to be chill and try not to worry but my anxiety is going to catch up with me and i'm afraid he will find out how crazy i am. also i can't get my mind past the physical appearance thing... i know i'm horrible but i am a girl and i was raised to hate myself. it sucks, but as much as he tells me i am beautiful and gives me these amazing sincere displays of affection, i am still convinced that he is way too hot for me. i don't look good, he does, it's so fucking stupid but i can't convince myself that i deserve him. i am sure that this can turn into something amazing and i can definitely see myself loving him. it terrifies me to think of losing him or ruining something that could be spectacular and the reason i can't talk to him about it is because it will only emphasize the crazy. finally, i don't know what we are, title wise. i guess it doesn't matter since i know he is only seeing me and i am only seeing him but somehow it would make me feel better if i had a title. i kind of want that extra security of knowing he wants to be with me and just me. for the first time this seems so unimportant. i am totally happy with what i have and i don't want to fuck it up. i don't care if he calls me his girlfriend, but i kinda want that. i am being pretty childish and i am so over thinking this, i know. someone please just say something to me! sorry i contradicted myself like 86 times in this post. thanks. <3 amy
Well it seems like you've really found someone that you feel compatible with, but I do agree with you, it seems as if you are moving quickly. Although the whirlwind beginning is great, maybe tell him that you feel strongly for him but have some concerns as well. Maybe this would be a time to open up and tell him a few things that he doesn't know and see if he's accepting or not. But yea try to open up with your concerns and hopefully they will be taken into considerations err whatever but yea good luck and keep us posted please!
