Just wanted to share my story with you guys. Don’t come here alot but when I do you guys are a big help, I guess I could consider this my opiate home. I first started using about 1 and a half years ago. My first experience with opiates was when I had a friend hand me a free 20mg OC. He said scrape off the coating, crush it, and blow it. I was a little high and was like ok, can’t hurt, since i have been suffering from chronic shoulder pain and never took anything for it. I blew it all with in 5 min. Before I knew it I was in heaven on earth, talking my ass off about anything and felt absolutely amazing, as we all know. That started my love affair with pain killers. After that I started looking around for people selling them although the same friend would give me some free 10s or 20s every now and them because he took them from his mother. I got a good connect getting 15mg roxi for much less than $0.50 a mg so I was buying alot, but only using them every 4th day max. I had good self control and tried to only do them on weekends or when I was in pain. For about 6 months I never went over 20-35mg. I started finding more and more connects to buy from and was getting good deals so I slowly increased my usage to about every other or every third day. Started using 35-45mg every other day for another few months. Then that thing called tolerance really started to show, i was having to increase dosage every 2-3 weeks it seamed until I was doing a few 80s in a sitting. That’s the thing I only did them once a day, never more than that. At my peak I was doing about 160mg OC at a time before I Had a mayor life changing accident happen. I had actually started going clean and weaning myself off about 8 months ago to where I was doing 35mg again and had stopped for about a week before my family and I were going on vacation, I was more or less clean and feeling good about myself. We were driving to our destination and I had a Tractor Trailer slam on breaks, I was not following closely but was doing about 75mph and had to make a choice of hitting him which would have been bad or changing lanes quickly. I changed lanes fairly fast in a fully loaded(5 people and luggage) SUV. Long story short. We rolled 5 times, through out my brother and sister. I was in the hospital for 2 days and my brother in ICU for about 5 with injuries that according to EMT and Doctors said 99% of people die from instantly. Nothing short of a miracle that he survived. I held myself completely responsible for the wreck and passed my breaking point. I couldn’t deal with alot of the pain. I have left out many details, everyone in the car was a member of my family. It was a very violent accident/rollover. nothing was hardly left of the car but we all survived. I could no longer deal with the emotional pain i had caused and the physical pain of my shoulder that was further destroyed at this point. I turned to Pain Killers. I was eating them like there was not tomorrow, I had a god awful was at almost 200mg again, until i took a short break before a major shoulder surgery. After it I had a almost endless supply of 5mg roxi and vicoden. I was in heaven using the pills to drown out any emotional pain, the physical pain was bad but the emotional pain was why I was using. By this time I was understanding the meaning of love hate relationship between me and my opiates. I was doing over 200mg for a few times before I had to make a decision. I knew I was going to have to make a choice, I was spending way too much money but still hide the addiction from everyone. I have recently gotten Suboxone from a friend that was one of my main hookups. He quit so I though it would be a good time for me. Bought 10 8mg suboxone and they kept the withdrawal away, by the time I was down to my last suboxone I took a half for 2 days and then stopped. Has some mild withdrawal still but have been clean for over 9 days now, and have never been so proud of myself. I feel normal and great. I have my life back, besides the urges I still get. I dont know when I will start back if ever. Opiates are the best drug in the world but will ruin your life if you let them . Be carfull and never ever take pills day after day, take long breaks or dont do them at all. I didnt listen when people told me, and I know many of you will abuse them still, just think about it.
That was a very powerful story, and I'm glad you're back on the right track! I've never been physically addicted to a substance, so I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to quit. Especially under those circumstances (the crash and your reasons for using).
Its the only thing I have ever been addicted too. I just had to choose the one that made you feel like heaven, and gives withdrawals from hell. There are many more details but thats the short and sweet version. If anyone has any problems or needs someone to talk to about things just pm me. If you are addicted try and slowly ween yourself off, lower and lower doses. Easier said than done, I couldnt do it. I needed suboxone to stop.
damn yo, for real that story was moving. and not to sound like a dickhead but even entertaining to read because you know it happened in real life! I honestly hope the best for you, try to stay off the opiates until your completely in control of you life again, if not forever. what part of the US do u live in Oxy? although Shocbomb did it, he was a heroin addict his whole life and then got clean for two years, and started using again but recreationally like once or twice a month, or sumthin like that. He should be fine as long as he limits himself to no more than that, and the whole time know that you used to be an addict so its easier for you to fall again. with that in mind and being intent on not falling again, you can overcome it. Positive Energy Always Corrects Errors
Thanks kilO, yea I had control for a while but then lost it. I was good at hiding it, only a few friends knew. I was able to graduate Magna Cum Laude with a B.S. I was right in the middle of the full addiction at this time. I now have a real job and need to be clean and clearheaded.
Good stuff man, stay clean, it only gets easier. But yea, I haven't done Opiates for like over 3 fucking months :O But I remember how bored I got without them, so I will wait longer. One day I hope I see myself doing it on special occasions like a job promotion or to celebrate something, but not just for no reason except being bored or what not, etc. And not to talk behind backs, but I think Shocbomb went on Methadone and thats how he manages to do it. Although Methadone is a last resort as I hear the withdrawals from that last twice as long and are a hundred times worse.
Yeah the withdrawals from Methadone are brutal and last way longer than any other opiate withdrawals.
kickass thread. I think a lot of desperate addicts can feel optimistic with the process of weaning. Stopping a hardcore opiate addiction cold turkey must be a veritable hell. But gradually tapering down how much you use makes it almost easy. I guess you just need to want it bad enough. I love oxys but the craziest I've been with them is 160mg spread out over 6 or 7 days. But I did them every day and even that smaller amount got me strung out and if I kept blowing them at the same pace and then run out, it was a horribly bitter comedown for 3-7 days involving loss of appetite, insomnia, depression, irritability...all the faves. But I realized it was important to wean off them so i can still blow like 130 mg in the same time period and if I just keep that last 20-30 mg and take it very slowly, like 2-3 mg at a time, the comedown is almost nonexistent. I'm a total stoner, but weed addiction is such a mental r'ship. With an opiate it was my body screaming for the drug and my mind and intellect had to be the mediator between body and drug, which is totally different than weed. I lose a lot of myself when I overdo oxys.
THats the shit man. I wish i could do it like that. I am detoxing methadone right now at 60 mg and when i get to a low mg around 20 i'm going to switch to suboxone, and I hope it works out like it did for you the same for me. As for advise stay away from phonecalls from dealers, dealers and anything that might make you think of opiates. Congratulations man, sincerely
