Gonna dig up my dead brother..

maybe you just miss him and the good person he was
some times

 

you must live in Pittsburgh


It would be hard to dig him up with the Iron reinforced concrete vault and all

People always give a lot of respect to the dead, sometimes way to rosy.

Maybe just stop seeing your family for a while and they will think you are dead, then when you return they will anoint your feet with something

 

Was once a good person... I really dont know what happened or how he spun out so bad..
I was in control of my own life.
but I see a pattern they/family try to suck you into the misery of that scum city PGH and nothing positive.
I was thinking of being down there more often as I go to school for business and quit my current job..
But all the shit I heard today.. was like no Im gona waste gas traveling back and forth.. Id rather not be involved or interested in the white trash nonsence.

 

I was in a Afganistan, when he died 8/02.. They blamed me I guess..
could of died a million times I could. But that means nothing cause I didnt run around the desert with a beer and get killed dui..

 

I understand how you are feeling. My uncle died last year. He was a good person and I love him, but made a lot of bad choices. However, in my grandma's eyes he never did a thing wrong and was a saint.
This makes my mom angry because she is the one who has always been there, the one who never had to borrow money, who raised a child on her own and graduated college.
I understand why both she and you get so mad.
it must have been hard for your parents to bury their child, but likewise it must be very hard for you to do so much, yet never compare (in your parent's eyes0 to someone who is gone.

 

sometimes parents, especially moms like the kid who needed them the most the best.
It's evolutionary.
You just have to come to terms with it (easier said than done) and find people outside your parents to recognize how awesome you are.
Can i ask you a question? Is it harder to be even more awesome when you are angry at your passed brother?

 

That was awesome. I am stealing that line.

 

yes I guess It was, but I didnt get the message till some many day after.. they should of understood that. Not like I didnt want to be there. Or the place I was. And when I did call they thought I could sit and talk for many a long time, I couldnt I had a job to do.. Does that fuck with my head? yes, It was a job someone else created.

no not at all. but Id like a relationship with my family and I cant have but a very little one. To much this one did this and that and this one is doing that.. I deal with that all day at work.
To me it seems like they hold onto the crap ppl do so they have stuff to gossip about.
my cousins are on pills and herion, they tell me about it..
my other cousin had a black baby, so what they tell me about it..
Btw hes got great skin tone.. but they go on and on about "Nigggs:.. it gets very annoying after a while..
They know what ive done for my life, Ok leader big deal. I have many
responsibilities but they are not difficult since Ive been doing them for a while.. Its like second nature.
Least I go on about the car my gf stole from me a few weeks ago, pttf. its worth like $600.00 but was in my moms name.. and they are flipping over it. It a a piece of junk.. the plates are canceled and she wants the title.. its in the car. Let my gf have the fucking thing I dont care.
yet my dad ruined a 160k rig but they are stuck on a stupid peice of shit car..

and you are right had my asshole brother lived I wouldnt have all this shit in my lap..
Im ther only beneficiary to all the junk they got and they are on downhill now, still dont want to talk arrangment and all the other shit I have no clue about....
Property thats OH so fucked up its not even funny..

blog rants are cool stress relief.

 

oh I didnt really answer that... \
Im HELLA AWESOME.... and always doing something to climb ladders. and If there is no ladder to climb, I build one..

 

Just from personal experience, you really need to let go of anger in order to have a good relationship, eventually get married and all of that stuff.
I have been angry for a little over a week now over something really stupid and it has done nothing but bring me down and keep me from being positive around my husband.
When I've had bigger issues nothing really good happened in it until I let go of my anger.
I read your other posts and it seems like your parents have a lot of transfernce issues. Have you told them how you feel? If you tell them how you feeland they don't get better than you are justified in distancing yourself from them without guilt.

 

My dad has early stage alzheimer's, They cant be changed as much as Id like to believe it.. Its harmful to all those around em. I know its why the grandkids dont come around and its sad in a way.. When I got my big old ugly house in the country I thought that someday Id have all my family here and the kids and stuff would love it.. Its so nice up here its like Heaven and that down there is hell.. but when my parents come here its more bickering. "I dont know how you live without gas", and My grass never gets cut.. It would take forever.. just a small amount gets cut. I have to pay alot for propane and I dont need water heating while Im not home..
I cant explaine shit to them they flip it all around..
how we do it in the winter, live in one room with a fireplace.
I love seeing my breath when I wake up.. Oh shit got to stoke that fire up a bit..
Its like all the peace Ive found in myself and things Ive done,, seems like they want to take that away..
Im 70miles from them now... dont know if I can distance myself much more.
they dont have emails or a computer or a cell phone to call long distance, I say page me its free Ill call you back? They dont do that, they do stupid shit like buy a calling card and them bicth about it.. WTF..
I though George Costanza had fucked up parents... lol.

 

the dudes dead, i think you should leave his ass alone...

 

Actually I dont think hes dead at all.. this is why I want to dig em up to be sure..
Couldnt be there and nobody ID'ed him. They just went by his licence. He was dismembered... So they didnt want to see him..