Last night's vice-presidential debate

(REUTERS)- As a stunned audience sat transfixed, the Vice-Presidential debate began amid a flurry of wild accusations, leaving a stunned audience around the world. The debate between vice presidential hopeful John Edwards and the current vice president, was held at Case Western University in Cleveland, Ohio. The entire event lasted under sixty seconds.

"This is absolutely the most offensive and outrageous behavior we have ever seen in a campaign," said a spokesman for Vice President Dick Cheney.

The verbal fireworks and sparring began immediately, with moderators unable to get the dueling duo to return to orderly debate. Not even one minute into the debate, power to the microphones was disconnected, and the Vice President was hurried from the room as the audience erupted in an outburst of verbal anger towards the Vice President.

Senator Edwards, who had won the "coin toss," ignored the first question, and asked Vice President Cheney's permission to agree to set aside the rules of the debate. "We need to discuss this man to man, you (expletive) piece of (expletive) (expletive)" said the usually-smiling Edwards, with a threatening but steady, calm tone. A confused Cheney seemed to nod.

It was at this point that Edwards, democratic Senator from North Carolina, presented a copy of the Vice President's financial disclosure form. Pointing to Cheney's income from Halliburton, America's top contractor in the Iraq War, Edwards demanded that the Vice President explain his Halliburton income.

"You, sir, are personally profiting on the blood of American soldiers, you son of a bitch, and after we win this election, we WILL see you stand trial for this. You're a (expletive) traitor, killing American soldiers to stuff your pockets with blood money. You will go to jail for this, sir, and until then, I'd like you to get out from behind that podium and let's settle this man to man, right here, right now."

Edwards was already moving aggressively towards the Vice President, before being tackled by Secret Service personnel. Cheney moved quickly behind the agents assigned to his personal safety, and was quickly escorted from the building.

"I've never seen anything quite like this" said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. "Senator Edwards is sending the wrong message to our troops," he said in a brief statement afterwards.

A spokesman for John Kerry was a bit more reserved. "Senator Kerry believes that it is morally indefensible to personally profit from the deaths of American servicemen, but has no immediate plans to prosecute the Vice President for the crime of treason against the United States."

The documents themselves are beyond question, and had been filed under penalty of perjury, by the Vice President himself. Many members of the audience found themselves shouting at the stunned vice president, who made no effort to apologize.

Senator Edwards is still in custody, and the White House plans a press conference today amid widespread rumors that Vice President Cheney will be removed from the presidential ticket.

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Crazy, huh? Then I woke up.

PS- If you have broadband and sound, this video clip from the Republican convention is just wonderfully hilariously funny:

http://home.earthlink.net/~houval/gopconstrm.mov

 

haha...I wish...

That REALLY needs to happen

 

And John Edwards would be the defense attorney.

 

So Max, let's hear why you think Cheney won the debate. I can already tell you why and how you'd be wrong, but just for laughs, let's hear it anyway.

 

Who said I thought Cheney won? Jeez, does eveyone on these forums have a stick up their ass?