Family Guy quotes. Eek.

Me and friends I have around here always quote family guy. I suppose just because it's hilarious shit. It's not the most well written show ever, but it'd definitely one of the funniest.

If this thread doesn't exist already, I'll be taken back.

- "Let me ask ya somethin': Ya ever sit on your hand until it's numb and then play with yourself and imagine it's someone else?"
- "Oh my god dad, what're you doing!" "Peter, who peter?" "I didn't say peter, I said dad"

hahaha

- "He's a bad man, like Jodie Foster" "Oh no my husband is home!" "It's okay baby, he had to find out sometime"



I could go on and on but you know....

 

haha i love family guy, bryan and stewie are the best cartoon characters ever... apart from butters and cartman that is...



''with great mustache comes great responsibility''

 

Peter-"hahaha You said 'nuclear'. It's 'nucluler', dummy.....the S is silent."

I always liked that one.

 

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy?

 

Tom: And now to our weather man ali davis for the weather
Ali: ITS GONNA RAIN!!!!

 

peter: what are you, high?
lois: no, i crashed hours ago. btw we're out of cheetoes haha

 

stewie: "what the deuce?!"

brian: "peter what the hell are you doing?!"
peter: "crack." (perfectly calm) haha

*peter stares into television with the screen broken out and a raccoon crawling inside*
"hmm...must be some kind of nature show"
*raccoon jumps on peters face and starts attacking him"
"AHH GET IT OFF!!!" lmao

 

I'm just tan stewie being tan stewie.

It's the kind of moustache that says yeah I've appeared naked on film, what of it?

 

Peter, after he bumps his knee on something and is writhing on the ground in pain-"Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh......... Ahhhh".

 

Brian - "You're Drunk."
Stewie - "You're sexy."

Lois - "I don't know, meth is a helluva drug." <-- not an exact quote. I know its in response to a tattoo she has.

BET TV Show announcer - "That rat thing just got ate! Damn nature, you scary!"

 

Oh and Stewie talking to Rupert with a human body.

"You wanna go ride the teabags? Teacups?........Teabags?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYVnMLitN0c&feature=related

 

haha i love that one xD

 

Peter - "Hey Ashton." *throws tomahawk* Haha, you just got tomahawk'd. That's my new show. Tomahawk'd"

 

you guys have to see bill and peters bogus journey

 

That entire episode is awesome.

"You up for some NAFTA?"
"What's that?"
"'Nother afternoon fuckin' that ass."

 

Lois-"I think I'm pregnant"
Peter-"What?! Are you sure it's your's?"

 

One more.

When Peter and Lois are roleplaying and Lois is pretending to be a naughty school girl. Peter goes into a really long and specific quote that is twice as funny if you've ever played D&D. Lois tells him that paladins can't use the helm of disintegration. Peter says, "Oh. Well then I'm a black guy."

 

This is the funniest one on this thread, IMO

I also love the mayor, but I cant think of any right now.

 

Adam West - "If I do this(gay sex), do you promise to stop stealing my water?"
Luke Perry - "Uh, yea."

Adam West - "I love Journey! Especially when sung by amatuers. But I hate baseball cards."