Family Guy quotes. Eek.

haha adam west is awesome. shit too bad i cant remember any quotes

 

Lois: Aren't you alittle fat to be a stormtrooper?
Chris: Well, stay here and rot, stuck-up bitch!

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Brian: Uggh, the smoke is so acrid!

Stewie: Uh, a man can hardly breathe in here!

Random Guy: You should get some hash man! You can't go wrong!

Stewie: Ohh, not true! Ground meat can go very wrong for me, very quickly, and then everyone in this room suffers the consequences!

Random Guy: You are out there man! In the ether!!

Stewie: Yes, well, i'd love to further pursue our palaver but i'm not fluent in freaka!! So...i'm just gonna turn back...over here...back towards my table....

 

in the episode where peter goes blind:

*lois walks in living room and sits on couch*

brian - "are..are you...are not wearing any makeup?"

lois - "how do i look? you know with peter being blind and all its been kind of a relief to not have to worry as much about my appearance. i think i'm gonna try to go with one of those 'all naturale' things."

*awkward silence and brian just stares at her with a squint in his eyes*

brian - "um...do you think you...have the skin for that?"

 

stewie - "you know what i think? i think...that the only reason we die...is because we accept it...as an inevitability...RAH!" hahaha i love that episode

 

Peter: *Panting as he stumbles out of a wreck battered and bruised* "Chicken... gave me a bad.. coupon"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXHaCEhOiWU

 

Peter: Well guys, my vasectomy is tomorrow.

Cleveland: You poor bastard. After all, sex is pointless without potency.

Quagmire: That's right, you take the venom out of a cobra and what do you got? You got a.....a belt.

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Stewie: By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins!

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Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?

Peter: I'll tell you what it's for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World!

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Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.

Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells!

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Stewie: What's this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G..... oh, that's better than sex!!

 

(Peter is blind, walks into Chris' room)
Peter - Hey baby, how ya doin'?
(slides hand down his chest)
"shh sh sh sh"
"OH GOD IT'S CHRIS!"
"Hey.......how ya doin'.......ya finish all your homework?" (really awkwardly.

haha =(

 

Great family guy video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uUAJE4fRD4&feature=related

 

i had to look this up because i couldn't remember the whole thing but its hilarious

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

 

Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.

****

Quagmire: I’ve never had a Spanish chick before! O-LE!!! (refering to Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa)

 

nah man its oli williams.

"bring me some soup!"

"what kind?"

"CHUNKY!!"

 

The episode when Peter & Lois open up a restaurant:

Peter: I thought you were bringing your cop friends! What are all these parallelograms doing here?
Joe: You mean paraplegics?

XD

 

Louis, you know women cant drive.....made me laugh SO hard when i first saw that episode.

 

its like your eating one of my farts..

 

YOOO the one where louis and peter smoke weed is one right now on TBS east coast lol

 

Peter: You know Mike Tyson used to beat up his wife. But there's nothing funny about that....... heheheheheheheheheeeee

 

^ Hahaha that was really funny when he did that.

"Lois you know women can't drive. Hehehehe, a woman driving, that's adorable!"

"Fartin' in your cereal in the morning and watchin' you eat it and goin' 'heheheh she doesn't know shes eatin' my fart'"

 

Family Guy is funny as Hell. I like the one where they are sitting around drinking ipecac to see who gets the last piece of pie. Then Lois walk in after they have all been puking for like 5 min. "Who wants chowdah?"

 

Peter to Mr. Pewderschmidt - Can I have 5 dollars?
Lois' Dad - Yeah, it's at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt
Peter (looking for the 5 dollar bill) - Ahhhh!!! Ah!! Ahh!! Why do you keep these things together!?

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Lois' dad to wife - Happy birthday!
Lois' mother - oh thank you a fur coat!
Lois' dad - Oh actually it's not real fur, it's bald eagle. And it's weather treated with a mixture of whale skin oil and children's tears

hahahah