my 2 cents on spanking your kids

Now I am sure that I am going to piss off alot of people with this, but I honestly believe that if you do not spank your kids, you are raising spoiled little brats who feel that they can do anything that they want and get away with it. I do spank my kids, not ofton at all but I do spank them. When i do spank them, that is when they realize that their behavior just isn't accaptable, and they stop what they were doing, and get over it. I see parents every single day get walked all over by their kids, yelled at byt their kids, and just completely disrespected, but the parent is all "oh, you cant hit a kid, blah, blah blah BULLSHIT!!" My kids rarely get a spanking, but when they do, they realize the severity of what they did. As for those of you that want to tell me it is abuse, get over yourselves and your issues! Yes, there is a point where you have gone overboard and yes that is abuse, but giving a kid a smack on the butt for disobeying is not abuse!!!! I read somewhere on this forum someone saying that spanking is sexual abuse, and that is even more distubing!! God, twisted sick minds on here, if smacking a kid on the butt rises sexual feeling, then you need to get some help, and deal with your issues.

One last thing. Everyone tells me all the time how well behaved and respectful my children are. I do not let them get away with acting like the children I see on a regular basis. My kids are better than that, and have a sense of self pride because of it. I was out with my 6 year old daughter, and she saw a boy about her age yell at his mom, and she asked me why any child would act like that to their mom.......I was at aloss for words, but I knew in my heart it was because that mom was to busy trying to be that little boys friends, then being a parent to him, or trying to raise a good respectable human being.

Sorry about the rant, and really I am not trying to offend anyone, but geeeeez, I am sick of hearing people say that my choices as to how to raise my children are wrong.....or worse yet...abusive.

 

I honestly feel like mothers who don't smoke marijuana while pregnant give birth to those little shits.

Seen it dozens of times.

We all have our opinions.........

Fact is

babies and children hate this society we've created.
Always looking for an escape......

 

I agree with you on the marijuana thing. I smoked it through each pregnancy, as a pain reliver, antinausea, etc, rather than taking an ibuprofen. My kids each came out healthy, beuatiful, and relatively happy. My 10 year old is reading at a high schoool level, my first grader is way above the rest of her class in her reading and math. No harmful effects at all.


I also agree that kids and babies hate the society we have created, which is why they freak out in public, but are just fine at home with mom and dad.

 

I was never spanked, I was respectful growing up. I think alot of parent's these days are having children for the wrong reasons, i.e. a fashion statement. Which is why there are so many little shits around.

I think spanking over the knee for a extended period of time is excessive, but, I think a quick smack on the ass to get there attention is fine. And to say it's sexual abuse is the most stupid shit.

 

I dont spank, it doesnt work for us. I tried a few times to spank my son, but I honestly believe he will be the type of person that asks his lover to spank him when he grows up! LOL. Seriously, the kid enjoyed it!

I probably have two of those kids you think are horrible children. But I do the best I can. I treat my kids with respect, make sure they respect others, and teach them right from wrong. I have noticed that some children naturally are more cautious and rule followers, while others are not. Mine are not, they are adventurers, explorers, and I try to keep them in places where they can explore freely. I only wish that others were less judgemental when they see kids around, and more supportive. But I guess some just think they do it all perfect, whether they believe it is from spanking their children or not using any discipline. Arrogant really! Guess I should go beat my child to make sure she isn't a spoiled brat. I mean at almost 2 years old, she should sit, not move, and act like your typical american robot right?

 

I don't spank. My husband gives the occasional wrist slap (ever so gently) as a reminder. I can't spank, though, because 1. it breaks my heart, 2. I was abused as a child, and it can very easily lead to abuse at my hand, 3. my daughter responds well to other forms of discipline.

She is not a spoiled little brat. She doesn't have a million toys, or the best clothing. She doesnt behave any worse than a normal two year old, in terms of testing boundaries. She isn't violent. And she knows "please", "thank you", "you're welcome", etc.

I think it doesn't matter exactly what type of parenting style you have. All that matters is that you take time to be with your children, you listen to them, respect them, and never abuse their time and attention. Those children that act out, typically, are children that never have attention from their parents.

 

all i've noticed with my younger child is that my face hangs lower and lower every day. there's nothing left for me to try to make her not try to kill herself or someone else. she's just that way. i'm fairly certain she doesn't speak english, because anytime i try to talk to her, she's got that "no habla" look on her face. i just have no idea what to do anymore. especially since we play the "spank my butt!" game in which the girls shake their butts at you and try to get away before you swat it. any swats i've ever given either of them have been far gentler than the hilarity enducing swats they get during "spank my butt!" i wish we'd never played that game. i'm losing my mind and may have to go back on meds now.

 

i disagree with spanking kids, and i don't think it's fair for the OP to state that kids who are not spanked automatically turn into spoiled little brats with no respect. that's absolutely untrue.

however, i don't want my children to turn into carbon copy "model citizens." i want them to think, be honest, and to have enjoyment out of life. so maybe i just don't want my kids to "behave" acording to most people's standards. and maybe that will classify them as spoiled little brats... the thing is, i don't care. i want my children to be healthy, think for themselves, adventurous, world changing people. you can't raise children to be those things by forcing them to fit stereotypical standards.

 

you really think that because i choose to give up smoking pot until after my child is born, that s/he will be a spoiled disrespectful brat?

 

violence is not the answer. i was spanked. i'm sure there are other ways to deal with kids besides hitting them.

 

Not quite.
The medicine helps teach, and soothe the soul.

That's all...

All the mama's I've known that have partaken in the medicine during pregnancy have given birth to the most amazing children I've ever known.

 

maybe it's because of the type of person that the mama is--perhaps more patient, laid back and intellectual than your run of the mill, mainstream woman. Mamas who take the time to talk to their children, and teach them, rather than sticking them in front of the TV.
While the type of women who smokes may be the type of women who raise great kids, i highly doubt that it is BECAUSE she smokes pot while pregnant that she's got a great kid.
I am 8 weeks pregnant, and I stopped smoking the moment i found out. I feel that there is not enough evidence to prove that smoking will benefit my unborn child. We all know that pot kills brain cells, and smoke hinders the development of baby's lungs. If i encounter any unbearable nausea, i may turn to my vaporizer. So far I've been lucky in that department.

 

See, this is what drives me insane!!! Did I say that a 2 year old needs to sit and not move? No 2 year old can or should do that, kids need to explore, kids need to run around and be a kid, and discover new things. I have a son that is almost 2 and he is a wild child, but when he does something that can endanger him....like climb the tall dresser in his room because he wants the Elmo book, then he gets a spanking. Try to stick something in an outlet, there is another spanking. But to be a typical American robot? ugh, no thanks, i like my kids having personality, thank you so much.


And i know that i don't do everything perfectly, I am only human, but I have the most respectfull kids you would ever meet. I only spank when they either disrepect eachother or someone else, when they do something to put themselves in danger, or when they completely choose to not listen to something that we told them to do, and that is more of a survivial thing than anything else. If i yell stop, and they choose not to stop, there is potential harm there, and they need to know to trust my instincs and not run into the road, or whatever it is that they are doing. When i spank them, they realize the severity of what they did, and they quickly learn not to do it again!

 

I agree. Mamas that smoke pot tend to want to teah their kids more, sit down, relax and read to them, talk to their kids about just about anything, and teach them to be more in touch with there feelings, and surroundings. My kids rarely watch tv, but tend to prefer to explore, be outside, read a book, have a conversation, or play a game, much like the stuff that I like to do.

 

Honestly, I could not imagine spanking my Ayla. She is 22 months and just would not get it, she is still unable to make the connection that the pain I am causing her is because she explored in the wrong place. It is my job at this age to make sure she cannot get into the outlets or if she does climb the dresser, it is anchored so it will not fall on her (my son had one fall on him at this age, I could not imagine punishing him for that, it was my fault, not his). Same for the street, she doesn't know that cars can kill her yet, so her running into the street is not something I could punish her for. Now if it was my 5 year old running into the street, it would be a different story. He wouldn't get spanked (since he likes it) but he would be disciplined. I think it is very arrogant to generalize and say that if you do not spank you will have spoiled children. I was VERY spoiled, I went thru a disrespectful phase I am not proud of, and I was spanked, I actually can only remember twice and I remember what I did to deserve it. I remember my dad just touching his belt and every child (not only his own) would stop whatever they were doing.

I truly believe every child is different. My son's best friend for example, has never been spanked, rarely even disciplined at all, but yet she just follows the rules, and always does and says the right thing. Why? Because her mom explained the rules to her and she cares enough to follow them. I do the same with my son and he will break the rules the next time. They are just different, like all kids. I'm glad that spanking your kids is working for you, and creating the kind of kids you want, but can you really say that all kids that are not spanked are spoiled? Just like all the mothers that didn't smoke weed during pregnancy have awful kids?? Come on now....it's just plain silly.

I personally believe that the reason there are so many spoiled disrespectful kids is because mothers today have to work. They are tired when they get home, they feel guilty they cannot be with their children all day, they simply do not have the time...so they fail to be the parent. Same goes for when parents divorce, the guilt makes it so that the parents are afraid to hurt the child more. I hardly think that spanking would fix the problem.

And there's my 3 cents (or I should say 3 more of my cents).

 

so...at this point...can we all agree that all children have different personalities and all parents have different ways of raising their children effectively? or do we really just wanna piss each other off with our superiority complexes. i have several, they're very effective for turning a perfectly good conversation into a cat fight. i'm the worst. but i'm sorta outside this one.

the topic of parenting is usually the most contentious topic i can think of. people make sweeping statements that are hurtful to other people without thinking and rarely apologizing. just keep in mind that we're here to help each other and share, not cut each other down so we can stand a little taller.

 

See, this is what drives me insane!!! Did I say that a 2 year old needs to sit and not move? No 2 year old can or should do that, kids need to explore, kids need to run around and be a kid, and discover new things. I have a son that is almost 2 and he is a wild child, but when he does something that can endanger him....like climb the tall dresser in his room because he wants the Elmo book, then he gets a spanking. Try to stick something in an outlet, there is another spanking. But to be a typical American robot? ugh, no thanks, i like my kids having personality, thank you so much.


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2 y/o's don't always know what they are getting into. They learn from the environment and surroundings around them.

How about getting down to his level and stating a "I" message.
It would hurt my feelings if you feel . Please don't go up there.
If you use a You message your attacking the person your talking to.

I don't like when ____ is up there...

 

what about the two year old WITHOUT much in the way of verbal skills. they all develop at different rates, after all. it worked good with my eldest, but i'm pretty certain my younger daughter just hears the charlie brown adult voice when i try to reason with her.

 

Don't feel bad KC, I still hear the Charlie Brown voice when my mum talks to me sometimes

 

it's driving me to distraction. i can't let her play with the neighbors because she just loses her freaking mind. i'm at my wits end.