whut uh fakking nite!!!!!!!!!!!

my formr tenat floodeded my basemnt & nayber basement on purpose,

so i went 2 da chik's job n kinda... um... visitd her,

jus 2 mayke uh long storie shrt,

cops show ^ @ mi dor 1 hr lata,

one says to me, "You better thank your lucky stars that there were cameras in that parking lot because, if there weren't, you'd be in SERIOUS trouble with the accusations she made against you."

turns out dis chik tries 2 say that i ----------------ed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n den i go to get my treez 4 da nite and a cop pullz mi ova,

says the bak windw tint iz 2 drk,

only ting is: the pig srches mi, takes mi $$$ n mi brand new sneakers mi wife jus buy for mi,

luckily i didnt hve n e weed on mi,

the officer said, "I'm going to drive off right now; but if I see you again tonight, I'm arresting you."

fukkin dc police...

 

fukkin chiks

 

Um. Thats really hard to read man. Its a joke right?

 

He always writes like that

 

For the love of god! Learn to spell and speak proper English you fucking idiot! Goddamn I cannot stand people who are too fucking lazy to type correctly and choose to spell things wrong. You deserve all of the police hassle. Consider them the grammar police.




Final thought: You are a fuck-nut!

 

the cop seriously took your money and shoes...?

 

---

 

You are a fucking douche bag, I hope someone humbles you soon.

Back on topic, thats some crazy shit he took your shoes. Im from across the river in va and the cops are like predators. Ive been spit on for skateboarding, chased, threatened, all kinds of ridiculous shit. DC cops always seem more chill, in nw at least and if not skating. Freedom plaza now? Shit

 

Freedom plaza is the shit.

If you board there often, I wouldn't be surprised if I snapped a few pictures of you without even knowing it.

So, if you've ever felt that you were being -watched-, you were right! But not by Big Brother, fortunately enough. Unless, of course, you're involved in -something else- that I and other Hipsters are blind to, which is an utterly real wormhole warranting deeper exploration. Not by me, certainly -- but someone, perhaps, who had it out for you.

 

i know, its fucked up right???

 

damn man, that sucks.
first thing you needa do: diversify yo funds.
second thing: keep typing the way you do, it makes you seem cultured.

 

Not just my money, though...

You have to understand that I am a fiend. I am a fucking marijuana addict, if there is such a thing. And I told my wife I'd quit chiefing after tomorrow.

So this half ounce that I was supposed to buy was to be my last hurrah (for a long time, at least, since she's standing firm on this no-weed thing currently).

I'm not having physical withdrawals or anything of that nature. It's just frustrating as fuck.

woooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd ^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I bet it took more effort for him to type like that than it would have to type 'properly.' He clearly speaks english as well as the average native speaker.

 

learn how to speak

 

Maybe it did take longer, but who the fuck are you guys? The grammar institution? Let the man express himself how he sees fit. And whos to say he isnt a native speaker, that is ignorant as fuck.

Go get a life and maybe you wont be so worried about others.

 

Its psychological dependency. What are the reasons you smoke?

 

I have two pieces of rental property. I am glad I don't have these problems.

 

I'm going to re-type some shit I wrote on the subject of -proper and improper English-. It relates more to fiction and the conventional Aristotelian narrative model, but its message is applicable in this situation, since more than one of you have expressed discomfort with the -improper- end of the spectrum. After this, I say nothing else on the matter.

DEBATING GARDNER'S SOUNDBYTE

"Detail is the lifeblood of fiction," argued J. Gardner. Yo, I know it's justa soundbyte, but a lotta niggas think that. In school, they beat in your head this foreign language and tell you that all other languages are inferior. They teach you about "structure." Aristotelian is what some call it: exposition, rising action, and so forth. When man -- (guess which man) -- learned of this method of storytelling, he arrogantly assumed that his was was better than all others. (Politicially, the same thing happent with American democracy.) And he set out on a quest not to do away with these alternate literary styles, but to cast them as improper, stupid, and laughable. The Aristotelian Model relies on detail and vivid imagery. But we never did. And neither did the people of color throughout the world. The Proponent would say: "Imagery is not necessary and neither is detail, but without them, your story will suck." And I'd respond: "Worrrrrrd...?!!???! So, you mean I gotta show you eything? Like if I'm wrtiting [in the case of this forum, exchanging posts with you all], I gotta use Aristotle's way of words, his form, and his style to describe shit? Explain shit?" "Well, detail is the lifeblood of fiction, El." "You are right." I wouldn't even argue with the dude, fam. I'd walk away from the debate. Like, for real, I could body dude EASILY. I could tell him to read the Popol Vuh, which is the Mayan creation story. I could tell him that even some of his own kind, such as Dennis Tedlock, professor of English and Anthropology at the State University of New York, acknowledge that the Mayans "often content[ed] themselves with allusions whose meaning is left to knowledgeable readers." But in bodying dude, he'd learn a technique from me and use it for evil. He'd learn about our Sacred Tongue, to be exact. And in a land where drugs, police, and rapists beset all Sun Possessors, the Ancient Tongue keeps us connected with the City of Gods and Goddesses. Ancient Tongue cannot be taught in class. It has no lexicon. One can't study Ancient Tongue vocabulary words on flash cards. In this space, I will say nothing else of it. Only must you know that your voice is beautiful. Your cadence is captivating. I told my friend Aisha one time that even her prose is poetry. (Nah, I wasn't tryna fuck.) Your language is eternal. And your story, my story -- our story -- is Divine.
















Now, if you can't relate, fuck it.

I haven't shitted on anyone else's beliefs here.

 

I can't believe they took your money and shoes . . . that is scary man. I'd be afraid to report that cop . . . if he's balsy enough to do that, he's probably got either lots of friends or an easy way to find out who's saying what and where you live . . .

 

You're pretty luckey, sucks you got jacked though.