Dating a Sex Offender

Blaming the victim in this case does not work. The child was only eleven years old, WAY below the age of consent. A child of 11 has no idea about sex, and could in no way trap a man into being a sex offender. The world just doesn't work that way.

If your boyfriend blames the victim, (as he obviously does) he is NOT rehabilitated.

 

Oh by the way...If you think an eleven year old would do this for attention from the parents, or to get back at a guy...you're nuts! Most sexual abuse victims never report the abuse because of the stigma attached. Little kids keep it from their parents so that they won't get in trouble, or because they think that the abuser will hurt them, or for a list of other reasons that amount to FEAR.

Yellow - if you want to make a life with a sex offender, it's your right. Just believe it when someone comes to you with accusations of a new offense...and pray that it's not your own child!

 

You people are still at this? For fuck's sake...

You don't know the guy; she does. You're not qualified to make a judgment about whether or not he is rehabilitated, or whether he will re-offend. You're making an ass of yourself. He was 17 and drunk, and he made a very bad mistake - yet you're trying to cast him as a malicious pedophile. I hope you feel better about yourself, having shown your moral superiority.

 

I've said it many times, but he does not defend himself in the least. He has never once purposefully made himself sound like the victim of anything. I asked him to tell me the whole story exactly the way it happened and he was reluctant on the details on how she had asked him both to come to her room and to cooperate with the act, and in the end he could only stare at the floor and repeat how dirty and horrible he felt.

 

And this girl ran to tell everyone? That is the point.

He's not going to reoffend, and it's because of statements like that that he literally cannot be around minors without paranoia constantly. He was never a pedophile, he wasn't looking at child pornography or coming on to children. It was just a horrible and wrong thing to do (everyone can admit that) and something that he's never repeat and wishes everyday he could take back.

 

wait he was 17.. and let an 11 yr old blow him? fucked up man, if thats the case hes a sick bastard... and should definitely be called a "sex offender"

that would be like a senior letting a 5th grader blow him.

 

Ok, I had to join up just to reply to this thread...
How old where you when you started masterbating (this is an open question for everyone)? Myself, I was about 9 maybe 10. I know children that start at 8, maybe even earlier.
I had friends loose virginity at 11, she knew what she was doing. She didnt understand the consequences maybe, but she knew what she was doing. She was taken advantage of, she knew she had all the power.
Not too long ago 11 yearolds would be married or arranged to be married. Our version of the innocent child is a rather recent one.

I do not condone having sex with minors, sex at a young age does affect a person when they grow up and start to think about what they did. It can ruin their lives because they did not think about consenques untill much later on. This is why laws are in place to protect them, even if they dont work. but I do not belive that this 11 year old was taken avantage of, I will say once more that he should not have done what he did it is morally wrong and he clearly knows this and is still punishing himself for it.

On a bit of an off note:
Children are not as innocent and we wish they were. My neice who is only 4 years old knows that if she flirts with males she will get more. You should have seen her when she met my boyfriend, yet with me she was coy and shy even though I have known her since birth. She flutters lashes, hugs and even pulls a 'cute' face on demand.
Its great, she knows what she wants and just uses us to get it. Very clever girl.

 

ok for starters ppl read the ladies comments the guy is in despair and has apparently repented and so on. i think the girl is a fed up kid if the story is true (no offense just saying)
i think rape and child molesting is disgusting my best friends father had a simlier case but he was 18 and the girl was 14 and apparently at first wasn't rape till her parents found out they had sex and the guy is a really down to earth very nice person and has never done a bad thing since. so dont just jump the burn him at the stakes band wagon. now it if some 20+ old guy knowiny did any thing to a 17 or less person i say take a nut for the first offense and ther would be a lot less cases like that lol,
a little boy like 10 or 13 a few years back calmed a teacher touched him during a one on one detention and that guys life was fucked so kids do know what they are doing expeashaly now a days with all the sexually content.
so kids know how to turn the tide on adults and get what they want easy.

i believe there should be limits yes and harsh penalty's for such acts but if the guys truly srry and u can tell in most cases if they are it should be less harsh but i am the forgiving and understanding type so i forgive once and cut off his dick on the second time (no joke)
and lady god bless u if everything works out for u and him i hope they do. when that happens ppl like that need ppl like u ....it was in the past and he regrets it. i see u i guess forgive him and thats good

 

That 11 year old girl is really screwed up. What is she up to now?

She wasn't a "victim" of sexual abuse. SHE persuaded him to do it to get back at him. I think she totally did it to get attention and to get him into trouble. Many girls, of any age, do things in order to get back at others who have teased them, etc. An 11 year old definitely has the ability to do this.

He had to learn a very harsh lesson about drinking and his actions, and he regrets it to this day. Sadly this will follow him around forever.

A rough road ahead for you and him. Good luck.

 

In the US, the age of consent averages 16 with Hawaii being 14 and Iowa and South Carolina being 14 with parental consent.

Kids younger than that are protected by law. If you have sexual relations with someone under the age of consent (and are charged and convicted), you are then legally a pedophile. Having sexual relations with someone under the age of consent is illegal, regardless of circumstances.

In most states, registered sex offenders have to register their addresses with law enforcement agencies, can not live within a certain distance of schools, and are restricted from having certain jobs which might put them in homes with children or in contact with children. (delivery drivers, repair men, school personnel, etc.)
The laws are in place to protect children.

 

Thank you,

I found out the other day just who the family of the girl was - I know her brother, he is a total creep. Like, heavy breathing from behind a bookcase kind of creepy. I don't know exactly how that reflects on his sister, but it makes me rather confedent that it is a fesible story.

 

If your happy thats all that matters....

 

The reason society has legal consequences for a person's actions is because it's supposed to make the person change. I don't have a lot of sympathy for sex offenders, though I believe that anyone can be rehabilitated for anything they do. He fucked up once, and he fucked up badly but that doesn't mean he's going to repeat what he did. If he did it more than once or has sexual fantasies about children, then that would be a serious problem, and it wouldn't be the best idea to date him. I don't know whether or not the kid could have consented to do something sexual, however, kids that age can be malicious and do go to great lengths to make someone else's life miserable. I also don't believe that minors should ever be tried as adults. In some places, 17 isn't even old enough to consent. Judge him by his character, not by a single isolated incident in the past. I also think that it's stupid to deny him some jobs and not let him live in certain areas...if he was trashed at the time, they should just him conditions not to drink, so he might have better judgment. It's wrong to restrict his opportunities for the rest of his life, because that stigma is what would make him re-offend.

 

Some good points there.