I asked this question elsewhere, not really realizing how taboo anal sex still is in our culture, and it was deleted. Hopefully this forum will be a bit more open-minded. I've been with my partner (first and only) for almost a year now. We love to experiment with different things sexually, and, after we had anal sex for the first time, I joked that I should perform anal sex on him. At first he was adamantly negative about it, but, since we've become more open and trusting of one-another, he's decided that he wouldn't mind trying it. Unfortunately, now that he's ready, I'm suddenly shy. I don't think that it's disgusting, it's just like, stage fright, I guess. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can ease into this and make it as pleasureable an experience for the both of us?
i don't have too much experience here, but maybe start with something a little more subtle. maybe start with your tongue or something else first. make it seem a little less "crude," if you will. this is definately a huge step. maybe a subtle approach will help.
Well, first welcome. I think you will find the crowd here very open for the most part and your post will not be deleted. Just start slow and work you way into it. Do a little and guage the reaction. If you both enjoy it move on to more. Start with a finger during oral, just touching or circling, move on to penetration with a finger, then to beads or a small plug... I am sure you get the idea here
heheh i love this place open help full ppl lets hope the government never learns of it anyway when we started it with me being the test dummy we went slow just her pinnky with some lube. the main thing is to relax him or her lick his butt or whatever and slowly message the inside and work the hole open as he relaxes more it will be come easyer. as u move on add a finger or two. ohh make sure when u move on to a toy get one that vibrates oh one more thing viprating anal balls or beads on the p spot are awsome hehehe yeay for sugar rushs
Queen.. it's prolly going to hurt some the first time, but after that, it can be awesome. The keys are, in my opinion, are 1) lots of lube (astroglide), 2) get very horny first doing other things (oral and straight sex), 3) let him use his tongue, then finger, then two fingers until fairly comfortable before trying, 4) have him go sloooooooww.. in a little bit at a time, 5) once in, have him hold still awhile until you are comfortable. If I remember more, I'd come back and add.. but that should get you started Good luck!
Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned.. The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and schincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all. Anal play for beginners Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY. First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure. Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP! Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in. Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug. Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK! After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco! GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE! The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
so i tried anal with my bf once for like 5 minutes, and we didnt have like lube, so we used bably oil, and it hurt so bad. If I use reallube do you think it will make a difference and it wont hurt?
What you need to get your hands on is some Astroglide or K-Y. Both of these are water based and very good for anal sex. Never use oil based products like baby oil or vaseline for anal or vaginal sex. Anal takes some time to get used to, so be sure your b/f warms you up properly and takes his time with you.
Read this and you'll be fine. Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned.. The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and sphincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all. Anal play for beginners Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY. First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure. Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP! Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in. Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug. Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK! After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco! GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE! The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
Okay thanksss, i will deff do it. And is it suppose to hurt, bc i was reading like all over and it says its not suppose to hurt, so do you think the baby oil is the reason it hurt, or it just hurt bc it was my first timee; or maybe bothh?
Like tommy said, if you take the time to get used to anal foreplay before having anal sex, it should greatly diminish the pain. That said, there's alot of girls out there who don't take the time to properly prepare themselves. They want it and they want it now! If that's the case with you, the best you can do is make sure your b/f still takes the time to prepare you as best he can. Finger(s) before penis. Make sure he is slow and gentle. Many young guys or first time guys have a tendency to rush. They are just way too excited to get in that booty. Also, I'm not sure how you tried it first time, but you should be on top so you can control how slow and how much of him you want. When you gain more experience and loosen up, then you can get into the male dominated positions. As far as the baby oil deal, it's for external use only. This is because oil based lubes can harbor bacteria, and because the shit is so hard to wash back out of you, infection can occur. So, stick to the water based stuff. You can find it at Wal Mart or your neighborhood pharmacy. There's also another brand out there called "HerGel". It's about $10 and gets good reviews. Best of luck and go SLOOOOOOOOW.
