im new here and heres one of my poems

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by yasmine66, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. yasmine66

    yasmine66 Guest

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    you robbed me
    of my sanity
    you robbed
    of my emotions
    you dug in deeply
    and let your poison
    flow through my soul
    slowly imprinting it
    with feelings that weren't mine
    They changed me forever
    My mind pulsates nonstop
    Bringing in new throughs of you
    Your twisted, Your discusting
    but i can't get these emotions out of me
    Im on a whil wind
    One second i have enough strength
    to grasp you and detach you
    from my soul
    The next second im on the ground
    gasping, sweating
    Im on some type of drug that doesn't
    hurt me physically , but destroys me
    mentally.
    Although you cause me so much anguish
    you still make me feel somehwhat elated
    when you notice me im in such bliss
    its unbelieveable. but thats hardly ever.


    PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
     
  2. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    it flows nice. i don't like the the very end. sounds weird.
     
  3. yasmine66

    yasmine66 Guest

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    yeah i guess
    i just didn't know how to end it!
    now that you point it out it sucks
    thanks :)
     
  4. Moonjava

    Moonjava Senior Member

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    I love this part.
     
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