hello. my names justin and i have just recently registered an account on the forums. i am currently going through a tough phase in my life, i dont know what to do with myself. I am 20 years old, living at home (with my parents) with my girlfriend and 14 month old daughter. lately, i've been going through a bit of depression. i am not happy with where i live and my surroundings. the town i live in is surrounded by conservative rednecks and it seems anywhere i go within 100 miles is the same way. i live in york in southern PA and every job ive had here so far has been living hell. There are just so many egotistical people i hate to even go out anymore. i try to keep plenty of herb in my life with many sessions a day. i have been doing this since i was in jr high school and been doing so since. when i got out of high school i went to art school the next year and dropped out the first semester from the shock of finding out i was going to be a dad. since then, i have been somewhat of a stay-at-home dad and my source of income is from selling stuff on ebay. i dont get along with my parents too well as they dont support my lifestyle but they mean well as they just want me to be successful in life. I have been unemployed for over a year now, and im trying to get back on my feet but just cant find the will power. I want to just get back to art school but everyone wants me to get a job mostly to earn money to move out on my own with my girlfriend and my daughter trinity. anyway, lately i've been having these dreams where i am living a life as someone else in a commune in canada. they are always surreal as hell. not bizarre surreal but dreamy surreal like im in a different time period or what have you future or past. ive had these before i knew anything about the Rainbows but since i had, every dream has been at a Rainbow gathering but its like a permanent nomadic life for me. when i wake up after one of these dreams and reality dawns on me i get a downer feeling about my life. i have never been to a gathering or even talked to a Rainbow for that matter, but every time i watch Rainbow gathering videos or stuff from the 60s like the woodstock movie or monterey pop festival(or any hippy-related video) i get the same feeling i get in these dreams, like a heaven that doesnt exist--for me anyway. i want so bad for this life to be real and i realize that it is for so many people from all over. i want to move to canada and i want to be part of a community that shares the same beliefs and values.. and it feels like that is the only way i will be happy in life even though ive never even had a taste. i say i will get my shit together tomorrow, but a month later i will be saying the same thing and be in the same situation. I need something life changing to really get my life started. How do i go about fulfilling this? Where do i start?
k i read all than smoke no more then once a day preffereably less see if that dont help next get your family to s gathering it'll change your life you can live the exact life u dream about bu u have to e ready to wok for it get yourself some st johns wort and rescue remedie treat your depression herbaly and force yourself to do somethimng everuy say to get u off the couch out the dioor and doing something towards your goals simply stopping smoking a month will help aloyt there are rainbows near u..i know a few find thjem organize a potluck or picnic get your ass to a gathering..thjen find woek thjat makes u feel good maybe in a nin proffit or .. go help out with a.r.r.r for a month or 2 but if u do go expecftig to work your ass off for no pay only to help others..the rewards in whar u do and how u feel doing it and the last thing...get your ass to a gathjering..not just 1 but many
I am definitely going to get some st johns wort and see how it works for me. Ive relied on herb for too long a period of time for it to fully help with the depression, so maybe i will try some herbal medicine as well. As far as the gatherings go, i really hope the next big one will be accessible to me by the time it happens. That will be determined by what happens in the next few months.. hopefully i'll be pulling in some cash one way or another. i would love to do some non-profit work someday.. i think it would do me good but until then i need money now to support my family and get them out of my parents house so we can all get our feet on the ground and really get our lives started. Anyway, thanks a lot man i finally heard something from someone other than simply "get a job and move out" However, i dont know if i could go for a whole month without smokin', that might really fuck me up
no i see smoking alittke helps depression smoking alot makes it muchworse u aslready are making it worse the only way to gert to where smoking makes it better is to stkp commin mistyake with depressed pot users they find a few hits helps so want to do it more and more everytume trheyre sepressed but smoke themselves iunto a deep deprseeeion and canytt smoke enough to get out of it..because the heavy use is caudssing it
i think your dreams are being affected by videos you see on a screen, which give the illusion of a paradise but which is much different in reality. you have to work hard to make any life work, and nothings ever perfect. go to a gathering, see what it has for you, but let it be an inspiration to live the light every day, even through hard times. that means a lot of self work, and like soaring eagle said, smoking too much pot can actually increase depression because too much makes you lazy and feel worthless. you might go to a gathering and blaze all day cuz ur in the woods and feel free, but does your family want to come live that way with you? maybe they do, but you can start living your dreams today, and its in your hands to create. every experience, every life situation has a lot to do with what you make of it, and if you enter a path running away from another, the consequences can be very unpredictable. but then again, you'll be sure to learn a lot with whatever choice you make, just keep an open heart like you have in sharing these feelings with us. love
agreed and gatherings are bliss but also are hard hard woirk hard to get up the freakin mountsain and deal with harshweather terrain thin air bugs u name iutr gatherings are not all a datdream u carry in 100 pounds ogf potatoes 10 miles up a mountain then dig a dsshitter and work all day and night cooking for family its work creatting paradiswe but u will learn to dothijgs selflessly for all your family
my girlfriend shares the same ideas about life as i do and we have talked about moving up to canada within the next few years and she is totally into it. as far as the gatherings go, i am totally aware of the work involved to achieve fellowship; you give some you receive some. Like "Hey man, thanks for feeding me today, now let me dig you a shitter" Now thats one hell of a brotherhood cycle
i'll fill your belly if you give me a place to empty it..lol what more do u need in life? start cleanning out from weed today..or smoke what u got but do not buy any more next time u do grt some.. sa mointh from now instread of an oz of kynd get a gream of mids or shwag just spending less on weed will help u get to your goals keep your smoking low and occassional (me i never buy it i just smoke if some1 pssses me a joint and i never go outta my way to find it so it maybe weekly monthly or whenever..i smoke alot more at gatherings but day to day very lil) noyt only will u dsave alotta 4 but also enjoy the lil bit u get much more get to a regional neasr u soon..then the national in july.. remember canadsmay not be here but there they have theyre own problems too so dont exprect the move to solve anything
I'll agree with what both brothers said, simply spending less on weed will help you toward your goals, and take it from someone who smokes too much, cutting back will help. Don't wait for nationals, find a small regional. Rainbow is a good place to go to learn what it takes to live in community, which is personal motivation and empowerment, and the understanding that joy can be had through service. I'm personally ALL about commune living, so I understand that, though I don't know why you're set on Canada, as the border can be a hassle and trying to live there as an American has it's complications. There is Family near you, for sure. Find them. Welcome Home. Love and Light, Joshua of the Reading Rainbow
i think york even has 2 rainbow houses i think they maybe squats with rainbow gutter punk type kjids i dunnobut i do remember hearring something like there was 1 or 2 rainbow communal houses there there maybe even potlucks western pa hgas its share of rainbvows call the philly lightline 215 701 7233 lkeave a message sayin your lookin for any and all rainbow contacts in 100 miles of york i doubt it;ll be me that gets thge message probly spauk and he does jeep somewhat of a contact list together and probly knows art least someone there although i bet theres 30 yimes as many rainbows as we know abvout google york pa rainbow family maybe hmm didnt find much but try the next nearest lil larger cities and towwns
justin,sorry i called ya john in that other thread..lol but we have had a few folks from york call the lightline recently... spauks preparing a list.. so give us a call in the next few days and we'll connect ya even if u can only contact 3 or 5 local rainbows..organize a york family picnic..and announce it on welcome hetre..see if ya dont get 15 or more.. but even if just 8 or 10 show up hold a council try to reach consensus to have either monthly weekly potlucks or at least an annual picnic.... keep it going and growing
Hey I agree to slow down on the refer, and ya know I personally don't live too far away from York PA i'm here in Virginia, and i've got a 2 year old daughter that's been to gatherings since she was 3 months old. But if you want to do the cummunal living thing in canada, i'd do my research first before you just jump, reason i'm saying that is because quite afew cummunes don't accept children, it's a difficult way of life, not that it should bother you if your ready willing and able. I also agree the videos you've been watching are set up to look almost fantasy like. if you wanna watch a real video, just look at what happened at Kid Village this year, and NO i'm not trying to scare you off from gatherings or anything like that, but that was real, i know i was at Main Circle when it all went down, and the old man and our daughter were like 20 ft away up on the hill watching. Besides if I was you I'd start out on the road thing small, ya know a gathering here a festival there, York actually has some cool lil festies that go on there. Ya know when you've got a child involved you should make sure she's not under too much stress is having a good time ect. I was a road dogg my whole pregnancy with my daughter Cindy so I knew she was gonna be cool, shit it's in her blood. I guess what I'm getting on about is take it slowly, one step at a time, do some research about communes in Canada, then start thinking about just taking some small little camping trips, see how the baby does with it, see how the mama does with it, I mean Soaring Eagle is totally right it's alot of work to live outside. It's work in a different manner than the work your mother and father want you to do, in a way it's actually harder. Anyways I wish the best of luck to you on your dream, or reality.
You are going to need a rainbow name, someone has to give you one, so you don't have to call yourself "Just Justin", at a gathering. So Your rainbow name is " Justin Thyme For A New Begining"
Im not sure if i would describe what im seeing as a "fantasy" myself, but more as something that provokes my curiousity to discover reality. i guess what makes it a fantasy is my attraction to keeping the "hippie" spirit alive even though after doing research ive found that much of what the family stands for today is different than it once was.. or maybe you could say its more evolved? I understand its one of those things you cant just do research to gain the knowledge; it has to be experienced. as for communal living, once again, i only know from what i have researched about it, i havent talked to actual people living communally so therefore i cant just say, "i want to live on a commune" because i dont know for sure if its right for my family. soaringeagle, thanks for the lightline info and expect a call from me or kate soon. dragonfly, you were very helpful and yes, ive seen the WY video and have done tons of research and no, it doesnt scare me or kate from taking our daughter. cops dont scare me, getting arrested scares me, so if i had my daughter at a gathering and there were any cops around i would find any way possible to find a place where there are none. i realize that even though there arent a lot of politics involved with the family, they are always going to be recognized as leftist liberal types and therefore will get unwanted attention by the US gov. Even though many us love our country, some hate our government so much, it makes us not want to live here. I and many other people feel that parliamentary democracy is a much better form of government, so we want to move to canada. i realize that no part of these goals can be easily reached without tons of effort but if i aim high, i will have more to work for, and be less likely to give up on my dreams. I think if i can get to a point were im only high at a certain point in the day (like no more wake n bake) i will have more time to concentrate on important thoughts and not the "live for the moment" you get from being high. Thanks everyone, i already feel welcomed and it feels great. The hard work starts now, and maybe i will meet some of you in person one day soon to thank you for the support.
great to hear that your making effort you may want to before diving into the full on commune lufestyle you may concider trying it out on a more easygoing type scale l;ike the highway child tribe canada it would be more adventerouse less strenuose theres still work involved with everyday life livin together on the toad in a bus they make alotta crafty stuff, clothes jewlery whatever to sell along the way it just might be lil easier to get a lil raste of it other then that..most fill scale type communes have a 2 or 3 week vissitation period where u can go try it out and see theres dozens in the us u can try before making a move i hear good things about twin oalks.. 1 of my ex;'s stayed there awhile i believe thats in virginia there are family freindly ones but its usualy the really huge really well established ones that are more kid freindly i believe there are some more closely assofciated with rainbow..i think theres a farm in florida (not really sure though..but i think my freind songbird lived there many winters) cloudflower who posts here alot and i think replied to 1 of yoiur threads was liviong on a small commune in texas i think.. a really small one which hopes to grow i think at the time she was 1 of 6 or 10 living there my opoint is if i was trying to make 1 and im niot sure i was..lol is theres a ton around worth visitting before you pick up yopur life and move to another country cause once you do u could go here visit a dozen find none are right for you..or none willing to accept you as a mermber you may be bettrer off doing what many of us have done..go to a gathering experience the rainbow and take that home with you,,,incorporating as much or as little of that rainbow vibe into your everyday life like me when 1 of the travelin kitchens showeed up in my neighboiurhood for a few months..when they left me and a couple other localk rainbows decidfed to turn the whole crack neighbourhood into a totalk rainbow space..we brought the rainmbow energy to where it was lacking the most... and it totaly changed the area for many years u can incorporsate the rainbow into your life in many ways some open theyre doors to travelers or ppl in need others share food..others teach or help out intheyre commmunities ..or cleanup local parks or just find someone in need and take a lil responcibility for improving theyre lives..theres so much nered out there and so much you can do as a rainbow..its all about the conceisness and what u choose to do with it and all u give u receive many times over every lil bit u fdo for the good of the community brings a lil of the unity of the rainbow to babylon.. babylon only will crumble when it becomes obsolete..when all around you realize we dont need it no more wecan take care of ourselkves by working together... im just sayin u dont gotta run away to a comune..u already got a comunity you just gotta stress the unity in the community and before long u will change how you feel being there my community i just moved away from was sick.. alcaholism drugs heroin crack noone cfarimng trashing the area ..prpostition rapes murders u name it..10 year olds pulling guns on ya just cause youir white and strolled into theyre teritory.. youd be amazed how easy it was to turn that community into 1 of the safest places to be in the whole city all it topok was a lil rainbow love and a few seeds within weeks everything changfed theres no reason to vacate when you can simply recreate
I know that not everything can be acheived by just doing research, and i wouldn't tell someone NOT to attend a gathering because of the LEO's shit they're part of the fun really, especially the look in there face when you tell them you love them, some really look to take offence. At one time though man I wanted to go out and live off the land and do it all, until I looked on a few site, talked to a few folks, and found out that communal living, doesn't always like children, because well as you will find out a child can break anything in less than 2 minutes or get sticky everywhere within 10 seconds. lol Now i will be honest and say i never looked outside of the USA for communal living, so canada my be different, i don't know. Either way good luck to you brother, the world is big seek and ye shall find.
i have seen a commune ir 2 that are kid freindly cant think of any names but theyre huge 1's that been aroind foreverr and maybe very hard to join they already got like 250 or so members, they probly started accepting kids when theyre members had kids and theyve had steady high numbers of fols there for decades these places u can vosit easy enough but to live there they may really be difficuly andonly accept the best condidates that fit in and work out betyterthen anyone typicaly they might get 12 to 20 visitors a week and only have room to accept 3 or 3 a year as more permenant im guessing on those numbers though and not tryoing to discourage u from trying at a gathering u maybe able to meet folks that lived in a few and get theyre advice and opinions
