Well, over the last week I have been... Emotionally distressed, and I decided to smoke all the stuff I had (6 grams) so I smoked it all and fell asleep thinking of evrything that was bothering me. The dream started out with me and my best friend in a car driving through the desert at night, I was driving and she was in the passenger seat, (To set the theme me and this girl were no more than very good friends we were always there for each other but we never were intimate or dated. Both me and her have severe depression and anxiety. She had terminal cancer but refused treatment and tried to live a normal life.) I still remembered all of my troubles but as I always do I wore my emotional "mask" and I didn't think that I seemed depressed at all, she was dozing in the passenger seat, and after a couple of hours ( three according to the car's clock ) she stirred and looked up at me. She stared for a moment and then asked me, "What's wrong?" Shocked by this I said, "Nothing, it's just the usual stuff." she looked up at me and said, "You know the thing that I regret in my life is that I never really talked to anyone about what bothered me, you can tell me anything, I promise. Trust me it'll just be between you and me." Looking at her in the moonlight I got the strongest urge to tell her everything. She said, "Take your time, I know it's hard." We rode in silence for a while and I eventually broke down and told her everything, the trauma, my battle with depression, how scared I am about my future, about my old girlfriend stabbing me in the back the first chance she got, how fucked up my family is. I talked with her for hours having to pull over because I was sobbing so hard. I told her about my accidental OD on xanax and how I tried everything to escape this mess I'm in. She said, "Don't do anything stupid, you'll make it. Live the life that I won't have ok?" I didn't know what to say to that, but she was crying and I reached over and took her hand. We rode in silence for three hours until she dozed back off. In the sky I saw a dark blue line appear on the horizon, and it got darker and darker the closer we got to it. After another two hours I could make out the dark blue to be a chasm of some kind, and a little while later the chasm yawned out in front of us. Suddenly, she sat up and told me to stop and she got out of the car and I followed her, each step she took was deliberate but I could see that she was scared, I put my arm around her to try to comfort her and we walked on. We got to the edge and I could see purple picture frames with memories playing in each one. One with her as a child swinging towards an electric blue sky. Her and I meeting for the first time. At the edge she looked me in the eyes and said, "No matter how bad things get never give up." She hugged me and then, looking me in the eyes stepped into the chasm. I woke up extremly disoriented, but I started to get ready for work. Around 10 am I got a phone call from my friends mom she was upset and said that my friend had died overnight. I just dropped the phone and sobbed. I couldn't move. Forever rest in peace Rachel, I will live my life to the fullest for you. I miss you already.
wow that's crazy and deep as hell i don't think you were dreaming though sounds like ap and your friend want'd to talk to you before she left...sorry to hear bout your friend man wish you the best during this difficult time
Wow man, just wow. All I can say is that, in a way you're extremely lucky. Very few people have a chance to have a last, meaningful conversation with a friend or loved one before they pass on.
That was fucking beautiful I think you had some sort of spiritual connection with her as you slept. I am truely moved, you a lucky human to experience such a thing.
You felt her cross, that's fucking out there man. I don't even know what to say. You and her had a connection on a different level than most.
the human mind has corners and capabilities that for most people are never realized. you should read "Life After Life" by raymond moody, its about near death experiences, and how they are uniform (with slight variations) across age, race, religion etc. its a hopeful book. when my poppi died, a picture slipped down off a cabinet in my room of him, helping me to hold my baby cousin. i spent all day thinking about him, and got the call that night that he had died. no one in my family told me that he had had a stroke a few days before, since no one told me, he did it himself. on the night of 9/10/01 i had a dream where planes crashed into tall buildings. im very sorry to hear about your friend. be strong, and remember that death is inarguable. pm me if you need to talk.
THat shit is insane bro. i really dont know what to say except keep your head up and never give up no matter how hard it gets.
Even though I saw her in my dreams, I would sell my soul to have seen her and been there to comfort her... :tear:
Ive heard some bullshit in my time but how pathetic can someone be to concoct a tragic tale around cancer to illicit sympathy because they are so fucked up emotionally. You should take a long hard look at yourself Kavalava and get off the weed. Funny how you never dream of getting a fuckin job and paying your dues to society when you toke. Or am l just a cynical bastard?
