when is grieving really over?

I lost my older sister to suicide in 2003 and i thought i would be over it by now.
I dont really cry about it alot, more so, i think about her. EVERYTHING reminds me of her. Sometimes when i see a girl with her red hair i think its her. However, deep down i know she's dead. Why does my mind refuse to believe this?



(sorry. i needed to vent.)



i miss her alot.

 

were you ever able to see your sister after her death?

 

i saw her at the funeral in her casket, and stayed behind when they buried her, but still my mind wont fully register it, is that right?

 

You're clinging.

Not bad in itself but you haven't let go yet because no alternative has been presented. You've been in the same area, same house(?), same everything since her death. Changing surroundings would help, at least until the wound heals.

You're just starting life. Many diversions will come your way soon and carry your attention away with it. As it does, you'll stop feeding this energy and it will weaken. Time will heal it.

You'll learn to adapt from grief to loving memories.

I hope you find peace.


x

 

I can't offer any advice, b/c I can't relate, only kind words...

I really do hope you can find peace.

Wishing you the best.

 

is there anything you wish you had said to her that could be leaving you with a sense of unfinished business?

 

the only thing i wish i could have said to her was that life is more worth living and that i loved her so so much.

 

Do not live life in regret of things that might have happened.

In my world, there are no accidents. Everything has it's place and reason. Sometimes death is a lesson rather than a sorrow.

The dead can teach us much about ourselves sometimes.


x

 

thats not THAT long just keep waiting i guess...i still cry at least once a week over weird reminders or when you just feel beaten down lol but its not a constant issue but its been eleven years...youre still young actually for you when it happened is the same age i was.

 

i just don't know about this sometimes..


what really bothers me is how my mom talks about her like she is still alive, but my dad never does, its like she wasn't even born.

 

I see part of your problem right there.

When you get out on your own, maybe move away, you can form your own ideas instead of trying to balance between both of theirs.

Both of your parents are still grieving, and they're dealing with it in their own way.

If you intend to stay nearby, I'd recommend all of you go to counciling to deal with this because none of you are doing it very well.


x

 

i am actually on my own, i have been for some months.

i used to see a psychologist, but then i came convinced that they just wanted my money.