My last cigarette

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Pellinore, Sep 6, 2008.

  1. Pellinore

    Pellinore Member

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    Standing on the cold and solid stones,
    under the dark nightly sky,
    wind flowing careless,
    trough my ruptured mind,
    My last cigarette burned up,
    deaf, has the past become,
    I need another one soon.
     
  2. infinito

    infinito Member

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    I like it. It's really brief and I can perfectly feel that kind of night.

    I don't know if "nightly" is the right word though, unless you are trying to say that the night comes every day. Also, what does the line "deaf, has the past become" mean?
    Oh, and maybe "I'll need another one soon" would be better than "I need another one soon".
     
  3. Moonjava

    Moonjava Senior Member

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    How many times have I felt this way? You describe it all too well.... :)
     

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