all beacause of henry

my brother is sleeping in the spare bed
because he is afraid to sleep in his own due to a spider he named henry
i was cleaning my room earlier today and my bed is covered in stuff
i was gonna sleep in the spare bed

i'd sleep in his, but i don't trust it
not due to the spider but due to tissues uke:
now i'm procrastinating cleaning it

entertain me

 

Kill the brother, befriend the spider, pull a reach-around, flirt, mate, start a colony, produce silk, get rich, die from esophageal cancer.

 

that sounds like a fucking brilliant plan
that's why you're the best ruby

 

Don't call me "Ruby".

Call me "God"

 

im procrastinating. i would probably make friends with that spider just to keep procrastinating.

 

fine

god, why is this place so fucking boring all the time now?
fuck this
i'd rather clean

 

sorry sally, no dice.

 

HEY! look whos online!

i'd have to hunt for the spider in my brothers room to befriend him
and the tissue issue is keeping me from going in there
i usually only go in there to steal his change

 

I'm not sure why. I ask myself the same question. I think it's all the "unviolence" and "undirty thoughts".

 

I knowww, this is a rareity. whats the tissue issue all about?

 

oh fuck off, it's plenty violent, and all the sex and drugs ARE intact.

 

he has a lot of tissues everywhere, it's cause he has "allergies"
but, you never know which of those tissues is the unlucky "happy tissue"
if ya know what i mean
he's 18...

i guess i should have said he was 18 to begin with, i mean him being afraid of a spider you'd think he was younger wouldn't you
no, he's an 18, 6'4", 210lb muay thai boxer
and he's afraid of a spider
fucking pussy

and yes! where the fuck are all the dirty thoughts and the violent thoughts!
for fuck sakes i have a half naked chick with a kitchen knife in my sig, i'm doing my part

 

my god, he sounds exactly like my brother, minus the tissues. with angus (yes, angus) it's lotion bottles.

anyway, you should drive out to the middle of the woods get naked and have sex. with a bear.

 

Personally id just snuggle with the bear

 

i can't drive, and honestly where do you think i live?
in my town and miles around my town the lovely government has gotten rid of all those nasty woods and gave us shiny new subdivisions and more stores to buy stuff

 

in that case... do the same thing at neiman marcus.

 

only she'd have to fuck a manequin, or an escalator.

 

do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around

 

oh, an escalator
that's always been a fantasy of mine actually

i don't think we have a neiman marcus...we are still in canada after all
but a zellars just opened up across the road
we are mighty excited about that

 

after fucking the escalator.