Over the last 2 years I have really been struggling and now it is at its worst and I really need some feedback my parents are on the verge of divorce, my brother is schizophrenic and can't do anything for himself (very violent and delusional). My dad is an alcoholic and is having major troubles with that He will go sober for as much as a week and then go back to normal. I've noticed that while he is sober he is very normal and when he is drunk all of his childhood problems and insecurities come out and he gets into this mode where he walks around fixing everything and complaining how no one appreciates him and he sounds like a possessed robot. Thats much like myself and pot, I'll get in this paranoid and anxious mode where I think I'm going insane. I am alright while sober but I think I am codependent Almost everytime I smoke pot now, instead of getting a nice high and appreciating the visuals and stuff, everything seems all hazy I just get really really insecure and I have seen this progress since I first started becoming insecure as my family started going down hill. My sister is a huge piece of hope for me, she has gotten past family problems and is off trying to lead her own life. I noticed as shit would happen in my house she would always argue a little and then leave, whereas I would try and fix the problem and hang around over thinking about the problem. The way my friends and I all interact is sickening, it went from really up beat energy and how we had such a strong bond, to nothing. Its too hard to put into words but my friends are all dealing with shit too and feel depressed just like me. I have almost always had some type of productive 'escape' to any life stress. At first it was skateboarding and I'd put all of my confidence into it to make me feel good. It worked; then I started playing guitar and made a band with my friends. Slowly we all lost interest and my other friend joined the band and I quit for various reasons. I quit skateboarding, snowboarding, band. I still play guitar just not as much When I get anxious or paranoid I can't eat and will sometimes not eat for a day or two and lose five pounds. I feel like through all the troubles I've had so far I've been keeping my head up and now I feel like I've hit a new low and can't do anything I feel like shit and have been dealing with these problems since mid 9th grad (im 11th) Tenth grade was my depression stage but now I feel like its no better, I feel numbed out, really numbed out like I just gave up on everyone Please help
You sound like your suffering from some generalized anxiety more then depression, the end of high school is a pretty stressfull time because everything seems so important (like if you make a mistake it lasts forever) trust me though it will settle down. I'm not even going to touch on the family issues because they can be pretty complex and im fairly buzzed, but i will say once you move out on your own it wont have as big an affect on you. All i can recomend that i know works for sure is eating well and exercise, i know you said it can be hard to eat (i had the same problem) but it actually will help your body be calm so it is good to try and eat breakfast if not then a big lunch.
thanks man ya I talked to my psychologist and he recommended al-anon also I hate how all this stuff is on and off; I switch off between bored as fuck, depressed, anxious, paranoid and all that stuff And sometimes I feel normal and I'll cancel a psychologist appointment just to end up begging for another appointment because I think I'm going insane Another quick thing, and I know people ask this all the time but w/e I've done acid, shrooms and ecstasy twice, do you think that has had any permanent effect?
Like Xac said, try to be active and healthy, and also you should try to rediscover an outlet to keep you busy and out of that kind of environment. get another band together, find new things you can be excited about. and i know it can be easier said than done, but just my suggestions. best of luck, be happy
Definatley, having said that, if there is any negative side affect so long as their isn't any actual brain damage you can 'fix' it. If the drugs do have a negative affect the best way to get on to healing is to stop taking them, you also have to remember you are very young still. personaly my mind has chilled out heaps just over the last three years.
quite smoking so much poty if you smoke enough pit to have vissuals u smike entirely too much if u use a bing break it throw it away smoke no more then 2 bowls a week..if that much prefferably less what your dealling with is depression exagerasted by excessive weed consumption quite entirely for a minth then keep it to aminimum dont smoke to the point of vissualds when u smoke just smoke enough to feel the skughtedst buzz and sety it aside switch from kynd to mids even shwag doing a couple psuchodelics aint a big deal but since u had alllll those issues in your family schitso addictions u name it u shouldnt have tempted fait ex isnt a good idea period especialy with issues once u cut the weed to zero for a minth then decide if u want to smoke again if so do it skow and be seroiuds about keeping it to a minumum i bet ya see alotta changes if u still jneed help after that talk to me we'll look into other herbal support oh for the lows st johns wort when u feel like your goiung crazy rescue remedie (bach flower remedies) i fackt make something to put the bottle in to wear round your neck cause when thst cray hits u may forget to take it unless its hanging right there then remember..your just fine ya just been smokin youyrself into a stipor
I don't smoke much lol I used to smoke on weekends and I've been on and off smoking sometimes 3 times a week or sometimes not all all for like 3 months I'd say on average I smoke once a week and even then I don't smoke much I'll keep that in mind though
ah ok sorry to assume it just sounded that way smoking till u get vissuals means ya are smoking some pretty good shut probly outta a boing and morre thehn u should u may have sime undiagnosed idssues simulsr yo the rest of the family umm has the house ben tested fior toxic mold? toxic mold can cause alotta mental symptoms like u describe and seeing as how alotta your family suffers mental issues, id wonder about that for now try st johns wort...valarian when needed.. and rescue remedie possibly scullcap but read up on it 1st see if u feel its approptiate ore not
it might have something to do with that youre 23 in the eleventh grade whats up with that lol sorry ima burn in hell actually that strangeness aside you seem like a bright "kid" lol k now im just confused stick with it youre still young it will get better!?!?!
Yeah, things get better. Sometimes things are shit but it passes .... like passing a big shit i guess
Smoking weed surpresses my appetite hella bad Thats because my weed highs all take me back to that paranoid place that I'm all too used to Ya so I'm staying off weed for a while, keeping track of each day I don't smoke
