When do you tell your son he was circumcised?

Ok this one is rather personal. Alot of people know me on here and I thought about making a fake account so I could post it and stay anonymous but in the end I figure openess is probably a better way to go.

So here's the thing, my folks never told me I was circumcised. I spent most of my life thinking I was all natural in genital area but when I became sexually active my girl told me she thought I might have been circumcised. Not being very familiar with sexuality herself, or with male genitalia she asked me if I had been, I said no, then I talked to my dad about it and he said I had been.

What makes it touchy is I spent a long time not knowing and feel like a total idiot about the fact that I never figured that out on my own.

It's kind of weird thinking you're sexually natural then having you girl tell you that you were surgically altered at birth and never knew before then.

So I guess what I'm asking is, what does everybody think about that?

And if you're a parent of a male child, how did you bring up the issue of circumcision with your son? I hope you discussed that with him before he reached adulthood. if you didn't how did it go over? Sooner or later every boy will find out whether he was or wasn't circumcised. In my case the way it came up was very awkward and at a late age. The lateness of the age was one of the main things that made it awkward.

So I'd appreciate any opinions anybody may have on the matter. The information may help me in the future if I ever have a son of my own.

 

I wouldn't have my son circumcised. But, if I did then I would tell him when I told him about the birds and the bees.

 

Me personally when I have kids, I will never circumcise my son. I see it as pointless and it only cuts off stimulation for a guy. Plus foreskin on a guy looks very nice.

I am sorry that you were circumcised at birth. It just isn't right, you should have been able to choose. If I were you I'd take this as a learning experierence and let your son choose.

 

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Woodsman - if he asks you, talk to him about it. Tell him that many people think a circumcised penis is healthier, and easier to clean, and that it looks better than an uncut penis, but also tell him that other people do not agree. If he has an older brother or male cousin, the subject may come up sooner than if he is the only (or first) boy in the family. When he goes to school, or camp, or joins Boy Scouts, he may see other boys with penises that look different than his, and he will ask you why. Talk to him about it, and broaden the subject to the birds and the bees.

 

I like cutteds advise.

 

I do too.

 

I imagine that when it's done purely as a cultural thing, rather than for medical reasons(or at worst, for religious reasons), then the most complicated part is when it comes to explaining why & trying to justify why the choice was made to perform the mutilation in the first place.

 

yeah i was circumcised at birth and i never thought any thing about it. my dad messed with me at first saying the doctor cut the top off and my dick was deformed i believed him till i asked my mom hehheehhe ohh boy did he get yelled at it was funny. it depends on how u raise ur child if u more open to them about sex drugs and explain it to them well then i dont think there is a problem.
thats where my parents lacked i learned from my sister (no sexual feelings toward her i just asked question and talked about it)

 

This is a tougher question then many may think. You do need to answer him directly and honestly. And that honestly part is difficult in today's world. The fact is in most circumstances there is no justification to do. I mean this is difficult. What do you say. Ah, daddy was, so you are? There are a few studies over the last few years that clearly indicate that the sensitivity is greatly reduced due to circumcision. My advice is to not do it and when he asks why you look different tell him you decided not to do it so that he has a choice when he's old enough to make the decision himself. What you don't do is what new-guy's father did.

 

I agree with what you are saying. Give your son the choice, if he wants to get circumcised fine if not its his choice. I don't think any parent should have the right to circumcise a baby. I don't think it is fair that most are not even given the choice. Personally I would rather see a guy with foreskin, it is just a natural thing. Why is foreskin so taboo in the American culture?


Tiffany

 

If you wait until he's in kindergarten tell him over summer break otherwise he'll be sharing with everyone in school his newfound knowledge about himself. Kids can be embarrassing enough already

 

most parents don't, they have already justified it to themselves so they don't feel they have to justify to the ones they forced to have less then whole genitals, it's very sad. I was never told.

It was not the best way to handle it, if someone made the mistake and cut their kids genitals then they shoudl explain it young, before the birds and the bees, kids explore their body earlier then that, they may wanna know why there is a scar there

 

Let me add to what I said before. It depends on what age he is when he's asking. If he's very young, like age 5. Just say to him; when you were born and I saw you for the first
time I thought you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I didn't want anyone to change you. You're perfect. If he asks when he's a little older just give more honest details. What ever you do. Say things that will build his self-esteem. That is a parents job and obligation. To protect their young. Physically, mentally and emotionally. IMO

 

does he ask about sex at all? I was an extremely curious child and asked questions all the time and I always got answered. if you just answer whatever question your child puts to you they'll respect you and will most likely take what you say without judgment. kids are pretty amazing. if you don't make a big deal out of it it won't be a big deal.

 

too all parents dont let TV or any thing else raise u kid (not to any one imperticular)
dont be afraid to talk about these thing and make sure they learn them right
funny story time:
"worked at game stop and a lady comes in with the kid. the little brat is screaming a yelling that he wants grand theft auto(gta) so the mom says ok (while shes on the cell ignoring the fact shes byeing a M rated game for 10 year (looked like). i say miss u do know this game has sexually and voulger content. she say yes i know but he need to learn about those thing and i dont have the time to talk to him.....yeah great mothering.

so plzzz for the kids sake talk with them teach the right way and so on
peace im out

 

I hate that, why have a child if you don't have time to take care of them. It is so unfair to them and no child deserves to be raised by a TV. Why don't parents see this. It makes me sad when I see someone put in a movie to keep their kids busy. What ever happened to family time?


Tiffany

 

hmm my parents didnt tell me..then again I read the encyclopedia for fun. Doesnt bother me I didnt have a choice..was done at birth and I can change that so fuck it...not gonna fret about it. Plus I dont like the look of the anteater personally.

 

Yep, that's pretty much what I've found to be true.
Some things we think are a huge deal, kids just want the truth and they are appreciative of getting it. It's probably not going to be a huge thing.

 

That's really the sticking point, my parents kept it from me, and I didn't find out till I was... well lets just say I was a lot older than I should have been in getting that information. The last thing I want is for my own kid to find out whether he was cut or not the way I found out. I think that info needs to come from the parents and at an early age to avoid problems in later life.

That's an interesting point as well, and one of the reasons I felt bad about not knowing before. I had seen the natural type, mostly on older guys. I used to be a martial arts instructor and and often trained older guys and we saw each other in various states of undress in the showers. The thing is, cause it was older guys, I thought the difference was a natural aging thing - 'old guy dick' for lack of better words. It never dawned on me that it was cause I had been surgically altered and they hadn't. I just assumed the difference was natural, like everybody started out like me and gradually changed to the form the older guys had as they got older.

Needless to say I hadn't seen any older guys who had been circumcised, so I just attributed it to age and thought nothing more about it. Then I became sexually active and my gf drops a bombshell about the nature of my genitalia after we see each other undressed.

It's an embarrassing situation cause I feel idiotic about not finding out earlier.

Just to clarify the point, I have no children now but this issue has been on my mind lately and I want to be prepared if I ever do have a son.